Tag: love

Get out of the way

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We are usually all about ourselves. There are many more people in the world, at least in my experience, that would prefer to talk about their life and their ideas than listen to what others have to say.

I include myself in the talkers group.

When God speaks to Moses, and instructs him what to tell the people, it is all about Himself, too, but not the same as with us. We want people to acknowledge us, we want to feel liked, respected and wanted. We like the “ego rush” we get when we are authorized to tell someone what to do. But with God it’s not the same. He doesn’t need our approval, He is no respecter of persons, He doesn’t need to feel important, and He tells us that He is God, over and over, not to please Himself but to remind us of who He is.

We are created a little bit above the angels- we are the sons and daughters of the Almighty, but we are not Him! We are about ourselves for selfish reasons, and God is about Himself for selfless reasons- He reminds us of who He is so we will listen; He reminds us of who He is so we will pay attention; He reminds us of who He is so we can live!

When we talk about what we want, it is to please ourselves; when God tells us what He wants, it is to save our souls!

I don’t have enough room to quote everywhere God tells us that He is the Lord, and you don’t have enough time to read it all. The phrase “I am the Lord” and similar words are used throughout the Tanakh, mostly in the Torah (especially throughout Leviticus) and throughout the writings of the Prophets (Nevi’im).  In Leviticus it seems to follow almost every commandment and regulation, which makes sense- the Lord is telling us what to do and reinforcing just who it is telling us.

It is easier to make friends by listening than by talking. When I was in sales, the hardest thing for me to do was to listen, but a really good salesperson knows that when you listen to the customer they will tell you how to close them. You can’t really talk them into a sale, at least, not one that will “stick”. You need to listen in order to know what to say that will close them. The same thing is true when talking to people about God and trying to minister to them- we need to listen to people and tell all about God, not about ourselves.

Of course, you can talk about how in your life obeying God and accepting His Messiah has helped you, but when talking about how God can help them, you need to get out of the way. You need to be about God, how the peace you feel comes from His Ruach, about how the hope you have is from His promises, which historically have never failed to come about. And you need to ask the person about their needs.

Ask what is important to them, ask if they feel there is more to life, ask if they care about others, ask if they are certain of their beliefs. Ask, ask, ask…that is the only way you will learn about them.

And if you ask, they will tell. When they tell, you will know, and when you know (what is important to them) you will be able to show them how God can make what they really want to happen in their life come about.

If you want to bring people to God, get out of the way. When we talk all about what God has done for us the people we are talking to don’t care a rats’ butt about what God has done for us- but they do care about what God can do for them.  Tell them briefly how God has done something wonderful in your life (and I mean, briefly), then ask them if this is something they would like to have.

Ministry is sales, and what we “sell”  is salvation. God is the manufacturer, Yeshua is the delivery system, and we are the field reps. To get people to buy they have to want what the product can give them.

I was a very successful salesman when I was in that business because I wore a rubber band around my wrist. It was suggested to me by an excellent teacher- he said every time I feel like saying something I think is important I should pull on the rubber band and let it go. Ouch! The pain was to condition me to listen and not talk. Nowadays I don’t sell for a living, and I have upgraded the rubber band to a gold bracelet, but it is still on my wrist- I never take it off because it is a reminder to shut up and listen.

It is all about God and them, not about God and you. When you talk about God, keep focused on what they want and how God can make it happen.

 

 

Hate is Easy and Love is Hard

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That isn’t so much of a revelation, is it?

How many of us have had a “falling out” with someone? Usually it’s over something that isn’t really that important, but was at the time we had the falling out. And how much easier is it to just accept that relationship is over than it is to make contact and try to revive that friendship? Hating is easier, hating is what comes natural to sinful beings (like all of us, myself included) and hating is safer.

Yes, safer. Safer because when we try to mend a hurt, we take the chance that we will be hurt again. At Rosh HaShanah it is a tradition to go to one you may have sinned against or hurt and ask forgiveness. I did this, once, to the mother of my children about two years after we had separated. I apologized for any hurtful things I had done and asked forgiveness. What I got was an earful of hatred, spite and anger. She yelled at me, withholding her forgiveness from me as if it was necessary for my salvation. She never knew that the forgiveness she could have given to me would have made her more right with God and had nothing to do with me and God.

Forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do, really, with the person who hurt you and their relationship to God, but it has everything to do with your relationship with God. We are not commanded to ask for forgiveness- we are commanded to forgive (see Matthew 6:14-16); forgiveness of someone else makes us right with God, not them. They have to make themselves right with God.

Hatefulness comes easy to humans for all the reasons I stated above, and for one more: it just feels better. Yes, I admit that and confess it, as well. I have some family members and friends that I need to keep in touch with or they will never call me, visit me or even send me a text. If I am not on Facebook (which, by the way, I am not) then I will never know what is happening in their lives. That knowledge hurts. I love them and miss them and want to be with them, yet they don’t give a hoot about staying in touch with me. I am the one always reaching out to them, and sometimes I just feel like if I never, ever have anything else to do with them I won’t be missing anything at all. If they can’t take a few minutes out of their oh-so-very-important lives to say “Hi” or drop me a line, give me a call or even just leave me a voice mail, then screw them and the white horse they rode in on!!

That’s why love is so much harder- it takes sacrifice, it takes compassion (not one of my strong points) and it takes a high tolerance to emotional pain. Loving is giving, loving is being there when you don’t want to be, and loving is accepting the stripes that someone else deserves. And more than that! Love is doing all that and doing it willingly, without allowing yourself to feel regret you did the “right” thing or to feel animosity against the one you suffered over.

This is the kind of love Yeshua has for all of us. This is the kind of love that God has for you, right now. And it is the kind of love that they both expect you to show to others. More than expect- they require it! If you have known the loving forgiveness of God and understand the depth of the sacrifice Yeshua made so you can be forgiven, and yet you do not show (or at least try to show)  that same love to others, then you are the man Yeshua tells us about in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35).

In Matthew 16:24 Yeshua tells us how hard it is to love. He says:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

This isn’t easy, this isn’t something that comes naturally to us, and this isn’t fun. We get a sense of peace and joy from the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) when we are deep in worship, but what we get from the world is a load of crap, hatred, and persecution. Many churches teach all about God’s love, and paint a pretty picture of salvation. In the meantime, they aren’t preparing their flock for the wolves. Yeshua told His Talmudim (students) that they would be sheep among wolves, that they are to be as gentle as doves but as crafty as snakes.

There is an old saying, I am sure you have heard it, that goes, “Time heals all wounds.” I don’t think time alone heals wounds, but with proper care of the wound, putting the balm of God’s love and compassion on it daily, time will eventually overcome the pain and the wound will heal. There is another saying that is similar: it goes, “Time wounds all heels.”  Those who are not forgiving, those who hate and persecute, bully and confound, will eventually be wounded. They will feel God’s arrow of justice pierce their liver.

And if the thought that those who have sinned against you makes you feel somewhat avenged, you need top pick up that cross because you aren’t carrying it! I have been hated, and that hatred has poisoned my own children to the point where despite all the sacrifices I made to be with them and try to show them how to be self-sufficient and succeed in the world, they have rejected me and abandoned me. They hate me because they were fed the hatred and spite their mother had against me when I left the marriage (which at that time was a marriage in name only.) And when I think of the suffering they will have to go through, for all eternity, if they don’t do T’Shuvah before they die, I can’t possibly feel anything but sadness and remorse for them. It kills me that they will have to face God without Yeshua in their corner. And not just the kids, but their mother, too. Sure, I have every reason in the world to be glad that she will get what she deserves for doing what she did to me and to our children.  All the reason in the world!

But we’re not supposed to be of the world, are we?

Love is a Muscle

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Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lou Ferrigno. Steve Reeves (you have to be in my age group to remember him.)

When we think of those names we think of one thing- muscles! Big, well-developed muscles.

They got those muscles through hard work, dedication and sacrifice. And after all that work, after all that strenuous activity, hours upon hours in the gym, proper diet, and loss of personal time with friends and family, if they don’t keep at it, those muscles get weak and flabby.

No, muscle doesn’t turn into fat- totally different things, but they do get flabby and weaken. Muscles need to be worked constantly to remain strong.

We all know that the heart is a muscle, but love is only a feeling right? Is it? Most people would say that love is an emotional thing, not a physical thing; however, if you have ever been in love you know that it can affect you physically.

I submit that love is a muscle. You know that old saying, don’t you? The one that goes:

“If it looks like a duck, and it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.”

Love has a physical effect, love is something we feel and experience; when we are unloved, it hurts and when we are loved, it is better than the best adrenalin or endorphin high any athlete can experience. Love acts like a muscle, it works like a muscle, it hurts like a muscle, and it grows like a muscle. Sounds to me like it’s a muscle.

Love needs to be nurtured and it needs to be constantly worked at. It takes sacrifice, it takes hard work, it takes humility, it takes compassion. It takes as much work as any physical effort you would make to build any other muscle in your body.

And like the muscles you get when you work out steadily, you need to keep at it to maintain what you have gotten. I am no muscle-man by any stretch of the imagination (although I do have a pretty nice set of guns for an old fart) and I work twice as hard at just maintaining what I have as I ever did building it up. I also work just as hard, if not harder, to maintain the love I feel for Donna (my wife) and my family and friends. I don’t do social media because I believe that is more like broadcasting than committed communication. I call and email people one-to-one to demonstrate that I am willing to take the time to be with them, and them alone.

Today everything is cocooned- yes, FaceBook, Twitter, etc. have made socializing easier, but is it the right kind of socializing? Is it really intimate? Is it really one-on-one? Does it take effort? These technological forms of communication have taken something very valuable out of communication- it has taken away the love. It has taken away the intimacy of talking to someone and replaced it with the cold, unemotional and unattached simplicity of just posting something on a bulletin board for any and all to see. In other words, it takes no effort and building love takes effort.

Love needs to be personal. How can it not be? Love for one’s fellow man (or woman), love of art, love of nature- these are all good, but impersonal.

There are so many passages in the Bible about love I won’t even put one here, except the most important one- Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might.

See? Didn’t I tell you that love is a muscle? God tells us to love Him with all our might and you need muscles to be strong.

The message today is really simple- we are commanded to love God and to love each other- this takes a lot to do. We are, by nature, self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish. We are sinful and hedonistic. We can overcome our Yetzer Hara (Evil Inclinations) with the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) leading us if we follow what it says, and if we exercise our love.

I am not one to talk. I am saying do as I say (actually, do as He says) and not as I do. I try to do what pleases God and fail many times. And when I do something good, I revert back. If backsliding was an Olympic sport I would hold many gold medals. But I keep trying, and that is what we all need to do. To run the good race, to keep our eyes on the prize, to build muscles of love and not let them get flabby.

The V’ahavta prayer (Deuteronomy 6:5-9) tells us to love God, and remember His commandments, to speak of them when we arise and when we sleep. I do. I also make sure that when I arise I tell my wife, Donna, that I love her. And when we go to sleep, I tell her that I love her. And I tell her that I love her as often as the feeling hits during the day (and it hits a lot.) I also remember to tell my sisters Wendy and Gayle that I love them. I would tell my children, Alexandra and Bryce, that I love them (if they would talk to me.) I do this not just because I do love them, but it is also how I exercise my love. It’s how I keep it strong.

You really want to build up a sweat exercising your love? Tell your spouse how much you love them next time you are in the middle of an argument! Yes, right there in between the “You always” and the “Why don’t you ever”  statements say, “You know, despite all this I love you and I am so thankful we are married. Even though I am pissed right now, I am still very much in love with you and never want to be with anyone else. Ever.”

Then go back to arguing… if you can.

Love is really strong when you exercise it regularly, and it has the strength to knock out anger and hatred in one punch. Wouldn’t you like to be that strong?

 

 

Starting with nothing

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I am sitting here, waiting for an inspiration. I actually glanced through the newspaper- same old, same old. Nothing jumps out at me, nothing that spurs my creative juices and uplifts (or upsets) my spirit, giving me a thought or a divine inspiration with which to blog about this morning.

We have a friend from Philadelphia, who we met while being Docents together at the Zoo there, staying with us this weekend. My older sister, Wendy, has visited us often, but no one else has come down here. We have even had family as close as an hour or less away vacationing at Disney or other Florida vacation spots and, believe it or not, they never even called Donna to ask if they could meet.

There’s a message for us! Friendship, whether familial or social, is something that needs to be worked at. It is something that needs to be watered with sacrifice (I let Jeanette do my Cryptoquip in the paper this morning) and fed with constant connections.

And I don’t mean Facebook or Twitter. Those posts and notifications are essentially one-way communications. Think about it- it really is all about me me me: My opinion, where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going,  copy and share, like this page, me me me me me!!

Friendship, true friendship, true family, is not about me, it’s about you. It’s about the other person, it’s about taking time from your schedule not to tell them what you are doing or where you are going, but to ask them what they are doing, where are they going, how do they feel? Friendship is sharing, and that means being a friend to someone who needs to share their feelings, and they should be there to let you share yours.

I know people who wonder, out loud sometimes, why they can’t meet someone who will complete their life, make them happy, make them feel good about themselves and make them feel loved. My answer is that they will never find anyone to do that for them until they are able to do that for someone else. My marriage to Donna works so well because we aren’t about what the other one does for me, but what I do for the other one. I prepare her cup for when she wants her morning tea before I fix my coffee, and she will have everything I need to make coffee ready for me when I wake up (the few times I sleep later than she does.)

It’s things like this, little things, every day, that we need to do to reconnect with our family and friends. Texts and posts on social media are a cop-out.

The same is true with God. We need to reconnect with God daily, daily prayer is essential to maintaining our relationship with Him. The Torah section we are in covers the days at the end of the slavery in Egypt, and we are going to hear a lot going forward in the book about the children of Israel in the desert. They had divinely delivered food, they had water from rocks, their clothes didn’t wear out, they got to see God, Himself, on Sinai! And heard His voice! Oy!

Yet, they k’vetched and moaned and whined over and over, for months, and even years. They didn’t reconnect with God until He had to slap them upside their heads, with quails that made them sick, with snakes to bite them, with plague, and with fire from heaven. The history of God’s people, Israel, is one of taking Him for granted.

If we take God for granted, how much more so do we take each other for granted? That has to stop. This has to be nipped in the bud and we need to get our heads back on our shoulders, out of Facebook and Twitter.

These aren’t making communication better- they are destroying what makes communication worthwhile! They remove the personal and compassionate relationships we have when we take the time to sit and write, to call and speak, to connect one-to-one instead of one-to-many.

Is God important enough to you to speak with Him only? Is there anyone in your life you care enough about that you want to spend time connecting to him or her alone? Is there a friend or family member that you love so much you don’t want to share them with me, or my friends, and their friends’ friends all at the same time?

I am going to post on my Facebook page this week, once I get the wording correct in my head (you ‘d think that should be simple, given all the empty space I have to work with) a last post. I enjoy some of the posts, I like how I have connected with people who I wouldn’t have connected with, but I am going to end my FB because it is NG for me. I am in communication, but I am not communing. If the people I am reading posts from and replying to can’t take the time to write me a personal note or email, then my friendship (in their mind) must not be worth taking any extra effort to maintain. And making personal posts isn’t the answer- it’s still just a FB post, albeit a different format. And if I am that unimportant, they won’t really miss me. And, hurtful as it may be to find out that if it takes an effort to stay in touch with me I am not worth it to them, at least that will be an honest and truthful relationship. I have friends who, to me, are like family but I know I am not like family to them. I am usually the one making all the effort to communicate, and since I have known these friends for decades, I know from this long relationship that I am important to them, they just don’t take the time because that is how they are. It hurts, and sometimes it makes me really mad, but when we are together I can feel their love and friendship. They need me as much as I need them, it’s only that I am better at understanding the dynamics of the relationship. And that’s not from me, that’s from God in me.

There are those that are givers, and those that are takers- neither one is wrong or right, they are just what they are. The world needs to be in balance, and I am a giver and many of my friends are takers. They need me, and I need them- we balance and complete each other. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in life was to accept generosity as easily and quickly as I give it. It is much harder for me to accept a gift than to give one, and the way I learned was to remind myself how wonderful it makes me feel to be able to give something nice to someone. Then, I turn that around and when I am uncomfortable taking a gift, I remember how nice I feel when I share or give something to someone, and tell myself that I am being selfish and discompassionate by not letting that person have that same feeling.

We all know it is better to give than to receive, and so when we are supposed to receive something let’s “give” the other person that wonderful feeling by receiving it joyfully and appreciatively.

And stay in touch with each other; no greater love is there than that one should give one’s life for a friend- isn’t that what Yeshua tells us?

It’s a lot easier to write a personal memo or make a phone call than it is to die.

PS: If you agree, please comment after you read this. Scroll down and agree that we need to be more personal in our relationships, we need to be more about the other person than about ourself, we need to reconnect with God, friends and family in a way that makes the other person feel we are really speaking only to them. We must take the time and make the effort to communicate with them, only them, and no else but them, because they are that important to us.

Parashah V’Yishlach (and he sent to him) Genesis 32:4 – 36

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Jacob comes back to the land he left, and hears that Esau is coming out to meet him with 400 men. Frightened for his family, he splits the camp, sends them ahead and stays behind the Jabbok River that night by himself. That night he wrestles with an angel, who (in order to be released by Jacob, who has prevailed against the angel even after the angel damages his hip) gives Jacob the name “Israel” and blesses him. Jacob limps across the river, then decides to send gifts to Esau to appease him before the camp even gets close. As he gets closer, he sends his favorite wife and her child  (Rachel and Joseph) to the very rear, then next closest is Leah and her children, and right behind Jacob are the handmaidens of his wives and their children. It is obvious that the least favored of his children’s mothers were to be closest so if Esau killed Jacob and the family, these would be next, and hopefully Esau’s anger would not reach all the way to the end to find Rebekah and Joseph. However, Jacob’s prayers are answered when Esau embraces and cries over reuniting with his brother, and that is about all the lovey-dovey they do. Esau goes back to his family and life in Seir, and Jacob ends up settling at that time in Shechem, in the land of Canaan.

In this land Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, is raped by the son of Hamor, the king of Shechem. After doing so, however, the prince falls for her and asks a bride price. The sons of Jacob (interesting that Jacob is not in this discussion) state that the men of the city, all the men, must be circumcised before Dinah can marry even one of them. Then when the men are recovering, Levi and Simeon attack the men, kill all the adult men and take the women, children and possessions as spoil. Jacob is enraged about this, and (reasonably) concerned for his welfare and that of all his family. God tells Jacob to get to Beth-el. Jacob sets up a standing stone there, an altar to God, and as they continue to travel towards Bethlehem, Rachel dies in childbirth as Benjamin in born. She is buried there, and they continue to Bethlehem. One other major event is that Reuben sleeps with his father’s concubine, and this is an affront for which he is not forgiven, even unto Israel’s dying blessing on him, and Reuben also loses the rights of the firstborn (which go to Joseph and his sons.)

The parashah ends with a brief review of the sons of Jacob, and then an entire chapter to cover the descendants of Esau. From this point forward we don’t really hear that much about Esau and his relationship to Jacob, and the storyline shifts starting with the next parashah further away from Jacob and into the life of Joseph.

I could write a book on this parashah: there is so much in the telling of the brotherly love-hate relationships we’ve seen so far in the bible. Cain and Abel, Ishmael and Isaac, Jacob and Esau: each set of brothers had strife between them. Cain and Abel strove over the acceptance of God, Ishmael and Isaac strove over the acceptance of Abraham, and Esau and Isaac strove over the rights of the firstborn. From God’s acceptance, to their fathers acceptance, to receiving the blessings for themself.  We see the relationship deteriorate from between me and God (accepting my sacrifice), to me and Dad (Abraham sending Ishmael out on his own with no real inheritance), to pretty much me and me (Jacob and Esau struggling over the blessing and rights of the firstborn.) There’s plenty of juice in this orange we could squeeze out.

There’s also the changing of Jacob’s name, his wrestling not just with an angel, but with his (or mankind’s) desire to use deviousness over doing what is righteous. The name change is more than just that- The Chumash indicates that it represents a change in his entire viewpoint and actions from one of being the “supplanter” to one of being the “champion of God.” We see this change somewhat in how Jacob despises the deviousness of Levi and Simeon.

So, nu?  With all this good stuff to talk about, what do I talk about? Actually, as I am writing this I am not sure. But I think I know where to go, and it isn’t from the storyline. It’s from the comments I read in the Chumash.

The “Rabbis” who contributed to the Chumash, even though they were learned and godly men in many ways, just had to find something deep and studious in the word of God. For instance, at the very beginning of this portion we are told that Rashi takes the term, “I have sojourned” to mean that Jacob is telling Esau that although he has become as rich as a prince, he really was never more than a humble wanderer, a sojourner, and that the blessing he received from Isaac saying  Jacob would be greater than Esau has not been fulfilled, therefore Esau has no reason to be angry with Jacob. The Midrash states that the letters used in the word “גרתי” (sojourned) has the numerical value of 613, the exact number of commandments in the Torah, and it uses that to demonstrate that even though Jacob dwelt in a land that was not the one promised to him by God, he still remained subject to and obedient to the Torah- an exhortation to his descendants to do the same. Honestly, and with all due respect, to me that seems to be stretching it a bit; I mean, the Torah wasn’t even given to us yet.

Throughout the Chumash one can read many of these interpretations, and they do make sense in many ways, yet I was taught that you can’t make an argument from nothing. The fact that Hebrew letters have a numerical value and that it is part of interpreting the bible is valid- I have no problem with gimel (ג), or 8, representing a new beginning,  7 is completion,  3 is the godhead, and 4 for man and God. Yet, I can’t forget that old expression I learned when in banking: “Figures don’t lie, but liars figure.”  If we look deep enough, and manipulate things enough, eventually you can get blood from a stone.

When we read the bible the best way to interpret it is to let God, who wrote it, tell you what it means. The way that is done is through the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit. I do not, in any way, feel that what I am writing now is spirit-led. I think it is more my own feelings, and experiences, and not some divine revelation. Still, I think it is valid ( or I wouldn’t write it) and ask that you think it over for yourself. Whether I tell you something, or your Rabbi/Pastor/Priest/Minister/whatever tells you something, you need to verify it for yourself by asking God to tell you what it really means. Of course, the spirit will only indwell when you ask for it.

The bible is, even for someone who doesn’t believe in God, a wonderful book, a valuable lesson in human relations, and a history of more than just the Jewish people (and every day it is proven more and more to be an accurate historical document.)  It has wisdom, poetry, substance, and value to everyone and anyone who has to survive in this world. To those who do believe in God, and who have accepted the Ruach HaKodesh, they will read all that the non-believers will read but get so much more out of it.

I give to you today a blessing and a curse regarding the Word of God: the blessing is that if you allow the Ruach HaKodesh to be your ultimate interpreter when you read the bible you will receive wonderful, life-changing, and eternal understanding of God and His kingdom. The curse is this: if you only listen to others, you accept what you like and reject what you don’t like, and never ask God to lead your understanding, then the bible will become a trap and a snare for you and you will be led not to eternal joy but placed on a direct path to the Lake of Fire!

The bible is like fire: when handled with respect and awe it can warm you, save your life and provide protection; but, when not respected, understood or treated with concern it will turn on you, destroying you and everything you have.

God is just so much so! He is so far above us and so much holier than we can even imagine that He must be treated with the ultimate level of respect. He is the One, He is all there is, He is everything (and I mean, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G) and the only thing that matters. As humans, we want to have the world revolve around us, but we need to revolve around God. He should be the center of our universe, and His word should be treated with total respect and awe. It is like dynamite- when you use it respecting it’s power, you get tremendous benefit from it. When you treat it casually and without respect, you get blown to bits!

Look for what God has in the bible for you, but make sure that no matter what you hear from humans, you always test it against what God tells you through the Ruach HaKodesh.

 

Disposable Everything

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Changing the baby’s diaper? The old one can be thrown away. Not to mention the food container you got from the Chinese restaurant. Also the napkins, the paper towels, and even some of the camera’s you buy on vacation.

That’s all OK, so long as you recycle the ones that can be recycled.

The problem starts when we start to have disposable relationships.

I have a relative whom I love, and I know she loves me, but I chewed her out for something on Face Book (my error) and she unfriended me. When the relationship we have is mostly digital, to just turn it off is easy. I apologized on Face Book, and in person when I saw her recently, but she still hasn’t made me her FB friend again. She didn’t see the apology because she cut me off from her (digital) life. Just like that- 26 years gone in a click.

My kids lived in NY while I lived in PA, so I saw them on weekends when I went out there: 4-5 hours of driving for 4-5 hours of being with them. Unfortunately, this was tough and my hours usually made it hard for me to call all the time. Besides, in my own defense, when I did call their mother listened in, or she took over the call and started to berate me (she never was forgiving or even willing to try and eventually turned the kids totally against me) or stood by so the kids couldn’t talk to me freely;  so, I stopped calling.  Now they have cut me off totally, another result of what is (partly) from having a disposable relationship, one that isn’t face-to-face and physically close.

The digital world has distanced us even more than the cocooning of the world that first started when the Internet took over. Now we unfriend people, we block their phone number, we can even block their email. If you’re mad at someone (and we all get mad at each other, sooner or later) it is so much easier to block them, unfriend them, and delete their contact information. A few seconds and a couple of clicks and that relationship is not just over, it is lost.

The Internet is transmitted through the air, and what is the description Shaul (Paul) gives of the enemy- isn’t he called the “Prince of the Air?”

The most important relationship anyone can have is with God, right? Oh, yeah- Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, etc. are all important- that’s why I am rambling on about how much I can’t stand the easily dismissed and immediately destroyed digital relationships we keep today- but (ultimately) they can’t save your soul. Only Yeshua’s sacrifice, and the relationship He makes possible with God Almighty, can save your soul for all Eternity. And this is the hardest relationship to keep because it is not digital, and it is not physical- it is faith based.

I have felt the presence of God, I have felt His touch, I have known the joy and the peace that His Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) has given me, so there is some level of physicality in my relationship with God. But not everyone has that, and for those that hear the word and are strangled by the weeds, or are poor soil, the relationship is easily broken.

That’s my concern, that’s why I am writing this today- we need to be able to maintain our relationship with God but if we can’t even keep a close relationship during hard times with family and friends, how can we learn to have the humility and maturity to keep a relationship with an unseen and untouchable God? Especially when the tribulation starts and the enemy comes in with promises, blaming God for everything wrong in our lives, and telling us all we need to do to get happy is to unfriend the Lord, and friend the enemy. If something goes terribly wrong in our lives, we just have to blame someone or something, and it is easier to blame God (since he won’t usually speak up in His own defense) than someone else because they might defend themselves and the blame won’t “stick” to them. People defend themselves, God waits for you to get real and wake up to the true cause of the problems in your life, which is YOU! Just as in my life the true cause of all my problems is ME!

For the sake of your soul, and maybe to help others save their soul, get off the stupid computer and get on the stinking phone.  Not texting, but calling. Use Skype or Face Time- that’s even better than a call. You can see each other, that will bring back many more feelings and memories than even just hearing their voice. But make the effort to be human! Talk to each other, look at each other, be people talking to people.

In the olden days they had to travel many days just to get to the next city, so letters were the main form of communication. And the letters people wrote back then, even just catching up letters, were beautiful. Well composed, thought through, and almost poetic. They never LOL’d or BTW’d each other. And they never LMAO’d, either.

Next time you want to catch up or touch base with people, call them. Talk with them, make real, human contact. Learn to work through the problems and don’t have disposable relationships. Relationships shouldn’t be disposable- they should be like a tattoo on the heart. They should be written with indelible ink on your hand and they should be fought for. They are worth keeping.

Pride, anger and lack of forgiveness destroy you from the inside out, and we all need to overcome this.

You will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with God if you can’t have a meaningful relationship with a human being.

Yom Kippur Midrash

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The Day of Atonement. The day when Jews all over the world congregate and corporately ask God for forgiveness. One of the holiest days of the Jewish year, if not the holiest.

And how many of the millions of Jews that are celebrating, solemnly, this holy day are doing so waiting for the Messiah who has already come for them, but whom they do not not know?

I celebrate this day with fasting and solemn introspection, reflection and requests for forgiveness for myself and all my people. That is what this day is really about- not forgiveness just for my sins, but forgiveness for our sins.

The prophets all asked forgiveness for the people, Moses stood before God and asked forgiveness for the people, Yeshua asked forgiveness for the ones that crucified Him. Those who are godly and worship God ask forgiveness not just for themselves, but for their people and for others. And more than that- they forgive them, too.

We are not commanded to ask for forgiveness, we are commanded to be forgiving. When we ask God to forgive our people of the sins that we read in the Ashamnu and Al Chet prayers, are we also forgiving them?

When you pray to God for forgiveness of your sins, are you also praying that you forgive the sins of those that have done evil to you? That’s right, I didn’t get it backwards: do you pray for God to help you forgive them?

I think that’s what we should do- pray for God to forgive us, and for Him to help us to forgive them, too. That’s the hard part, isn’t it? After all, even Jonah knew that God is not just willing to forgive, but that God desires to forgive: it is paramount in His heart to forgive the sinner. Maybe that’s why we read the book of Jonah on this day; it’s about forgiveness, and not just from God.  Jonah ran away from God’s calling and we know exactly why (Jonah 4:2.) He told God he knew God was compassionate and gracious, and that if Nineveh did repent God would forgive them. Jonah, on the other hand, was clearly not in a forgiving mood. Jonah did not want to pray for Nineveh, he wanted them destroyed. But, after some slight additional motivation, he followed God’s command to warn them.  And then, when God forgave them, Jonah was angry.

We need to be less like Jonah and more like God. We need, also, to pray to God for the strength, compassion and humility that will help us to be more forgiving of others. Humility, forgiveness, meekness and compassion all require great strength. A fool is easily angered, talks without thinking, and is more interested in his or her own opinion than listening to others (there’s a lot more about what a fool is like in Proverbs.)  Being loud, self-absorbed, discompassionate and unforgiving is easy for us. It is all part of our sin nature, our inherent iniquity.

The Ruach ha Kodesh (Holy Spirit) is the only thing that can help us to overcome the natural tendencies we have to be sinful and ungodly.

That brings us back to the earlier statement I made about so many Jews asking for forgiveness, waiting for the Messiah and not knowing or acknowledging that He already has come. It’s really sad: Jewish culture is founded on the belief of a Messiah to come and bring us back to God, to overcome our sins and reconcile us to the Holy One of Israel, and yet the historical teachings have been totally against the idea that Yeshua/Jesus is that Messiah. The Tanakh is full of references and descriptions, and Yeshua fulfilled them, yet He is still ignored and rejected by “mainstream” Judaism. Only the Messianic Jews, and many Christians who are seeking their Hebraic roots, really understand and know the true Messiah of Israel (and the world) and worship God as God said to do in the Torah. Which is exactly how Yeshua/Jesus said to worship God, as well.

Today is a day to ask forgiveness, so I ask God to forgive those of His people who have been taught, wrongfully, that Yeshua is not His Messiah. I also pray, O Lord, you forgive those that have taught and continue to teach others to reject Yeshua, for (as Yeshua said) they know not what they are doing. And, finally, O Lord, I ask that you help me and everyone reading this to forgive them, as well, for leading so many from righteousness directly to Sheol. Please forgive them, and show Your forgiveness by opening their eyes, their ears, and their hearts to the truth about Yeshua Ha Meshiach.

Thank you, Father God, for the forgiveness that You give to us, the forgiveness you provided to us through Yeshua, and for helping us to be able to forgive others.

Bruck’s 3 Rules of Prayer

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Everyone has rules, and I have my own rules for prayer.

Rule #1: God always hears your prayers.

There are places in the Bible where God says He will not hear us. For instance:

1 Samuel 8:18 (And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the LORD will not hear you in that day. KJV);

Isaiah 1:15 (When you spread out your hands in prayer, I hide my eyes from you; even when you offer many prayers, I am not listening. NIV);

Jeremiah 7:16 (So do not pray for this people nor offer any plea or petition for them; do not plead with me, for I will not listen to you. NIV)

But does this mean God doesn’t hear your prayers? I don’t think that is what He means- He always hears us, He is just not listening, as in paying attention.

He always hears us, but when we have rejected Him and have sinned so often and so purposefully that we have thrown a wedge between us and God, He will have no option but to ignore our pleas. Think of it this way- we are calling to Him, He hears us but holds up His mighty right arm to our face and says, “Speaketh thou to the hand!”

God always, always, always hears our prayers, but how he acts is His choice. Which brings us to the second rule.

Rule #2: God always answers your prayers.

And sometimes that answer is, “No.”  As above, God hears you, alright, but decides to answer with silence. Or maybe He will just say, “Nope! Ain’t gonna happen.” And at other times His answer will be “You got it, babe!” and that answer will be wonderful, confirming, and blissfully full of blessings. Or it may be something totally unexpected, which leads to the last rule of prayer.

Rule #3: The answer usually isn’t what you expect or when you expect it, but it will always be just what you need and just when you need it.

God knows what we need better than we do, better than we can, and better than we ever will. And because He is a loving and compassionate Father, Judge and Savior , He will provide not what we want (which is usually not good for us) but what we need. And whereas our timing is usually lousy, God’s timing is always perfect because He knows what will happen and when it will happen, so He can make things occur just when they should. We won’t always get what we want, and we rarely will get it when we want it, but we will have a much better batting average if we learn to pray more in line with God’s plan for us. Look at the prayers of Abraham, Moshe, the Prophets, Yeshua’s prayers and those of His Disciples: their prayers were answered not only when they were asked, but often exactly as they requested. That’s because they were praying for something that was within God’s plan. And yet, there were other prayers which were not answered as requested. Take Shaul as an example, in 2nd Corinthians 12:7:

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Here is one good reason for us to expect God to decide what He will answer and when: God, and God alone, knows the best time to do something and the best time not to do anything, because it is all about Him. Shaul’s prayer was for himself, but God turned it into something that gave the glory where it belonged- to God.

God always hears, God always answers, and the answer is rarely what you expect or when you expect it. But it is always perfectly suited to help you and to glorify God. So, keep praying. Just because you don’t get the answer you want or expect doesn’t mean He didn’t answer you. It may be ,”Yes, but not yet”; it may be, “No. Now stop bothering me.”; and it may be, “As you request, it shall be done.”  And when we pray in Yeshua’s name we will receive what we ask for, SO LONG AS what we ask for is in God’s will and glorifies God. If you pray in Yeshua’s name to win the lottery, don’t be disappointed if you don’t, and don’t blame God. Winning the lottery isn’t what God is about. However, if you pray for salvation for yourself or someone else, God will listen, and He will answer.

I pray every day for the salvation and reconciliation of my children with God, and Donna and I, and that we will be a family centered on God. I know that God will answer my prayer by giving my children every possible opportunity to come to Him, but in the end, it is their choice. God will not force someone to ask for salvation. I pray in Yeshua’s name for the salvation of my wife and children, but they have to choose it. God will answer me, I faithfully trust that He will send angels of mercy to them, that He will make sure they have every opportunity to recognize Him, His work in their lives, and that He will protect them from evil, both physical and spiritual. And I know that He hears and He is answering this very moment, but since they have to choose, if they never come to salvation it is not because God didn’t hear and answer my prayer.

Make your prayers “God-worthy” by keeping them in line with God’s plan for you, as best as you understand what it is. And keep praying- you never know what the answer may be or when the answer will come, but if you pay as close attention to what God is doing in your life as you want Him to pay attention to your prayer, I believe that you will, eventually, see the answer.

Whatever it is.

Being Correct Doesn’t Make You Right

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One of the nicest slaps in the face I ever received was from Jim McGovern, one of the better bosses I have been blessed to work for. He told me that what I say to people is usually right, but I say it the wrong way.

That’s an important lesson for all of us.

I read this morning in Dear Abby about a woman whose uncle is (apparently) a person who believes in the Bible and what it says. However, at a gay marriage he was invited to (and he went?) he screamed out while the men were walking down the aisle that his bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. He has also been very vocal (and impolite) at other occasions. She went on to say he was divorced three times already and on his 4th marriage, and by now I understood this person, and the way he was expressing biblical truths, was not using God’s word to honor God; in fact, he was dishonoring God by his actions.

Being a God-fearing, Bible-loving Believer is great! But ramming it down someone else’s throat doesn’t bring any glory or honor to God. Just the opposite- it dishonors Him, and will drive people away from the Lord instead of bringing them to Him. We need to show the word of God in the proper light- by being a living example of the love, compassion and forgiveness that God showed to us, and that Yeshua showed, as well.

I don’t believe that homosexuality is a correct way to be- it is a sin. So is lying, so is adultery, so is stealing, so is murder, so is gossip. To God, sin = sin. There is no sin>sin or sin<sin: sin=sin=sin. It is all the same to God, any one sin is just as bad as many sins, and it only takes one sin to separate us from the Lord.

By God’s grace and love, every sin is forgivable. Through Yeshua’s sacrifice, every one of us can be forgiven, and saved eternally from ourselves.

I have dear family members, on my side and Donna’s, that are gay. I love them, I visit them and love it when they visit me. I don’t ram down their throats what I think because I am just as much as sinner as they are- we are all in the same boat, we are all sinners, we are all in need of the salvation of God available through Yeshua ha Mashiach.

We should be allowed to voice our opinions but we need to respect the rights of others to make their own choices in life. We will all be before the Lord, sooner or later, and He is the final judge. God, and God alone, is the ultimate, final and only fair and just judge that is, was, or ever will be. And that is because He can see the heart, whereas we humans can barely see the nose on our face.

Hate the sin and love the sinner- we say it, we hear it, but do you live it? If you are the one who says what is right but says it the wrong way, the bottom line is that you are wrong. I am one who knows- I am the rightest wrong person you will ever meet. I am an old pro at being right the wrong way, and when you drive people away or hurt their feelings saying the right things, you are wrong.

Why? Because when you plant a seed you need to sow it gently. By shoving the truth down someone’s throat you are sowing seed then stomping on it, then kicking it, then stomping on it again.

Ain’t gonna get no harvest that way!

People don’t mean what they say, they mean what they do– the man described above may say he believes in the bible, but what he does says he is just a self-righteous, judgmental person who is using God’s word as his excuse to berate others and voice his own opinion. He isn’t giving honor or glory to God, he is only proving he is a “holier-than-thou” you-know-what.

If we are really God-fearing, and we really believe in the bible, and we really want to show others the truth and love of God, and we really want to bring others to salvation, we really won’t do it by preaching how wrong they are and insulting them. That won’t win people over to God because when you insult people all you do is force them to become defensive. Besides that, another truism I have learned from being in sales is that people only believe half of what you say, but 100% of what they say, so no matter what you say or how correctly you say it, they still won’t really believe you. They will, however, notice how you live, how you act towards them, and how you treat others.

If you want to win people over to God, don’t tell then how they should act: show them.

Intolerance is Not Bigotry

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Once again, thank you Ask Amy for ideas and inspiration.

She was answering a letter from a man who was shocked that a recent friend , who is a Christian, was against homosexuality. Amy answered that his friend is intolerant and Christians are taught to be that way (she didn’t say that outright, but she strongly implied it), yet she was tolerant by stating that the writer of the letter could learn to allow other people their opinion.

So the “Christian” with a politically incorrect belief is intolerant (i.e., hateful) and this man can be honorable by accepting that from him. The man who allows the Christian to be intolerant is correct, and the Christian is just pain wrong.

Intolerance is not hatred or bigotry. The difference (for me, at least- you may agree or not) is that bigots and racists hate people for what they are, whereas a true Believer will hate the things the person does but loves the person.

An intolerant person is someone who, according to Mr. Webster, is “not willing to allow or accept something“; there is also a second definition that says an intolerant person is one who is “unwilling to grant equal freedom of expression especially in religious matters.“

Let’s take a look at some of the intolerant people throughout history: God, Moses, the Prophets, Yeshua (Jesus), many of the kings of old (they’re examples of the bad type of intolerance because they would just kill people who had different opinions), people who never prostituted their ideals or accepted less than what they knew to be right (Edison, Ford, Gates, Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, to name a few.)

Intolerance isn’t the problem: it’s what we are intolerant of that is the true indicator of whether we are upholding ideals or being bigoted.

I do not agree with many of the ‘socially acceptable’ things people do.  I base this not on my personal feelings as much as on what I believe God tells us we should do, and what He says we should not do. In fact, I am intolerant of myself at times because (if I may paraphrase what that nice Jewish boy from Tarsus said when he wrote the letter to the Messianic Jews in Rome) I often do what I don’t want to do and do not do that which I would rather be doing

I am not a good example of doing what is right, but I am a good example of someone trying to do what is right.

Am I intolerant? You bet I am! I am intolerant: not of people, but of sin, and I am intolerant of those that define sin by what they want it to be and not by what God says it is.

The enemy wants us to be tolerant and to accept what everyone wants to do. When we do that, we have no scruples, no measurable level of right verse wrong. When we allow that everyone has the right to do what they want, we don’t have individual freedom- we have total anarchy. And, whether it is a legal anarchy, political anarchy, or spiritual anarchy, it is the perfect environment for the enemy to just step in and take over. Today when someone is “tolerant” they are not just expected to allow others the right to their opinion, but they are expected, indeed required, to give up their own right to their opinion.

If I believe <fill in the blank> is wrong, then I am intolerant. It doesn’t hold true so much if I fill that blank in with, oh, say….murder, or rape, or arson, or a legally defined criminal act. If I fill it in with something religious or godly, say adultery, or idolatry, or homosexuality, or lying, or even blasphemy, then I am probably going to be “called onto the carpet” for it.

That’s OK with me- I will stand for what God says and if He says don’t stand for sin, then I won’t stand for sin. I won’t allow sin to go unchallenged, and I won’t accept the evil I see just so that I can be considered “tolerant” by others.

Hate the sin but love the sinner. That’s a hard thing to do, but isn’t it the only thing that separates Believers from bigots?

However, don’t expect the world to see that very important difference because it doesn’t want to, so be true to God and to yourself, and don’t worry about the others.

After all, if they tell you you are wrong for believing what you do, doesn’t that makes them just as intolerant as you are?