Author: Steven R. Bruck

hands off = don’t care

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Another gossip column rant this morning- this time it’s not Dear Abby, but Ask Amy (Donna likes to read the newspapers, and with two papers I get twice as many word puzzles.)

The question this morning was asking how tough a parent should be with activities such as having your children learn piano, get all A’s in school, etc. The parent writing was raised in a strict Asian family with very little “kid” time, and the other parent is (the writer says) a ‘hands-off’ type.

Amy did OK, and ended up saying kids have their friends, and if you’re the Mom or Dad, you are NOT one of their friends, you’re their parent- act like one!

Amen to that, Sister!

Hands off is not allowing your children to grow- it is removing accountability and preventing them from learning there are limitations in life and in relationships; it keeps them from being able to be aware, and respectful, of other people. Allowing children to be unaccountable for their actions and words (or lack thereof, if that is the case) is not helping them at all. Yes, there are times when we need to remember that they are just children, and still learning, but that doesn’t mean to allow them to ignore the consequences of what they do. It means we need to make them experience the consequences with mercy and patience. God is a great example of doing that, being understanding and merciful when He knows that is best, and striking you down when that is what is needed. And always, always, always willing and able to forgive.

I tried to be a parent to my children when I visited them; they are from my previous life, which ended in divorce, but I never left them- only their mother. However, since she was a ‘hands off, let’s be friends, you’re just children’ type of mother, who never felt responsible or accountable for anything she did or said, they were growing up the same way. Because I tried to be a parent, they now have rejected me and I am not allowed to be a part of their life. It’s been almost 4 years since I was able to talk or even email my son, and about 7 years with my daughter. My 4-6 hours with them every other Sunday or Saturday for over 20 years did not match up against the 24/7/365 teachings from their mother.

Here’s one example of how hands off is not helping the kids, at all:

I was with my children, Alexandra was about 8 and Bryce was about 3, and we were walking across the street. I held Alex’s hand and told her to look both ways for traffic to make sure it was safe, and her reply was that she didn’t have to look because I was the parent and I was supposed to make sure she is safe. Of course, that is an accurate statement- I am the parent, I am supposed to protect them, but that doesn’t remove her responsibility to protect herself. How will she learn to be a protective parent when she grows up if she isn’t taught this now? That was my argument- what happens when they become adults? If they are not taught how to be one, does it magically come to them in a flash the moment they turn 18? Maybe when they turn 21 they suddenly know what to do?

Proverbs tells us many things about disciplining our children, and how God disciplines us because He loves us. I am not saying a parent that is not a disciplinarian doesn’t love their children, or that one who is Machiavellian in their attitude is the most loving of all. What I am saying is that ‘hands off’ is the same as ‘I don’t care’, and children will pick up on that. Oh, believe-you-me, they know! If you don’t show concern and discipline for them, they will stretch that inch into a light year. Even if you are “strict”, they will still try to get away with as much as they can- that is what being a child is all about. To stretch the limits, to push to the edge, and further, until they are reeled in. It is a parents obligation to their child to teach them the ropes, so to speak, and that means how to tie things up and how not to get all tied up. A rope can lift you up or it can hang you: it all depends on knowing how to use it correctly.

I believe that the world is falling into satanic control, more and more each day. Look at the video games- violent, demonic, totally unconcerned for human rights or dignity. Look at the TV shows- sexual improprieties, killing, “justified” violence to each other, and just plain stupid…and I mean, REALLY stupid!

Look at the advertisements our children see on TV and in the magazines- people are sexual objects, products make you a better person, the more you have the more popular you will be. All focused on material items, which is all the enemy of God can offer. God doesn’t care about material things- He cares about our eternal soul.  Yeshua tells us to seek first the kingdom of God, and all these other things (what we need to survive while alive) will be given to us.

If you have kids, I am happy for you. I know you may not always feel that way for yourself, but as someone who has lost his children to hatred and unforgiveness (for the record, I wasn’t “Mr. Right”, either. I was no “Father Knows Best”, believe me) you should be grateful for being able to raise your children.

So raise them correctly, teaching them with proper levels of discipline, always tempered with forgiveness, love, mercy and patience. And remember-like it or not, this IS how it is- you are their example. They will not accept “Do as I say and not as I do” because no one does! They will be like you because your are in their very DNA, and what is good about you they have, and what is bad about you they have, also. And they will also have what is uniquely theirs. Appreciate their uniqueness and help them learn to develop it.

Hand off is (and I won’t accept any argument to the contrary) no different than saying you don’t care. It is condemning them to death (that’s what Proverbs tells us happens if we don’t discipline our children), and what parent wants to do that?

 

What’s in a name?

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The other day (June 2 , if you want to look it up) I was reading Dear Abby. As those of you who follow this blog (thank you so much for that- I really appreciate it) probably remember, I read her column to gain fodder for my rantings, and I was not disappointed with this one.

A person wrote and asked about the name, or descriptive title, of a unmarried man who is having an affair with a married woman. S/he said everyone knows that a woman would be called a “mistress”, and wanted to know what do you call a man in that position?

Here’s an old joke: “What is the definition of a mistress? Something between a mister and a mattress!”

Dear Abby took this one to heart, checked it out in the library, did her research, and came up with a few different names. But of all the names she came up with, what I noticed was the one name that was absent: adulterer.

I have to admit I was a little surprised- I believe Dear Abby has a good moral character and ethics, yet, here she has the opportunity to remind us that adultery is a sin and she lets it pass. She answered the question, and I am sure that she will defend her position (and it’s not really a bad defense) by stating it isn’t her job to judge, just to answer.

Although when you read her column, she judges often enough.

The bottom line is that she needs to maintain her readership, and when too many people are reminded too often that they are sinners, that what they do is wrong, that their problems stem more from their lack of respect for God and His laws than anything else, well- she’ll find herself losing popularity. Her columns are written to keep people reading them, and that is done by providing good advice and a daily dose of gossip.

Proverbs 18:8 says:

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.

Now, you may argue that when someone writes about themself it isn’t gossip, and many people are writing about their own problems, which more often than not is about or involves someone else. Names are not given, events are descriptive enough that people involved will probably guess it’s about them, but the truth is: this is a gossip column. People read it to hear about other people’s problems and to feel better about themselves. Sometimes it can serve a valuable service, the advice is often enough valid and useful, but when you strip off the pleasantries, it is a gossip column, and as such must appeal to the lowest and basest of human emotions- to watch (or in this case, hear about) the suffering of others.

I find myself asking, “Why?”: why doesn’t she ever recommend that someone go ask their Rabbi or Pastor or Priest for help? Then I remember about the New Jersey Rabbi who murdered his wife to be with his mistress (there’s that word again!), and the problems in the Catholic church with child abuse by the priests, and Jim Bakker, and…well, I guess she doesn’t suggest going to the clergy because they’ve had some really bad press lately.

The world is what she writes about, and the world is who she writes to, so it shouldn’t surprise us that her advice is “worldly”, not spiritual. Maybe we need to get someone out there who will write a spiritual column, someone who will tell people that their problems are because they have no love of God or respect for His laws. Even if you are an Atheist, you have to admit that the social and moral mores of the Bible are valid and, if followed, would make the world a much, much better place to live in.

If you know of such a column, please hit the reply button and share it with the rest of us.

We need to let the world know that what is in a name is the truth of the matter- names of people in the bible were more than just some fancy moniker- they were who the person was. And when we want to know what to call someone who is having an out of wedlock affair, there are two names for it: if one or both of them are married, the name is adulterer. If neither is married, the name is fornicator.

That’s it. Nothing else is truthful, everything else is some form of sugar-coating the truth.

Brothers and Sisters, we live in a world that is full of sin, and accepts it as the way to be. They have lived with the stench of sinfulness for so long that they think it smells nice. In fact, it is so bad that the world thinks we Believers stink! As Shaul tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:16:

To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom.

That makes it even harder to get close enough to people to help them find their way to salvation- after all, who wants to be in an elevator with someone who hasn’t showered for a week?

Don’t let that stop you. You can cover the smell of salvation by talking to them in a language they understand, use the terminology of the world to help them forget about how you smell and to get them to listen. Then, slowly, with the gentleness of a dove and the cunning of a serpent, bring them into the light. They won’t know how bad they smell until they get a breath of fresh air, and the Ruach haKodesh is the freshest of air (Ruach, which we interpret as ‘spirit”, in Hebrew is actually the word for ‘wind’.)

I have nothing against Dear Abby, and I think she very often helps people. The problem is that she helps them in a worldly way and what they all really need is to know God’s way, if they want help that will save their souls.

The problem, I guess, is that saving souls doesn’t sell papers.

Parashah Bechukotai (If you walk) Leviticus 26:3 – 27

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Throughout the Torah, the methodology for God commanding us is that He tells us what we are to do, then He tells us what will happen if we don’t, and finally He confirms that after we have disobeyed, when we do T’shuvah (turn from sin) and return to Him with all our heart, He will remember us and His covenant with the Patriarchs, redeem us from wherever we are and bless us, again.

Leviticus is a book that is the penal code for the nation, as well as the ceremonial rites and actions we are to perform, from the High Priest (Cohen HaGadol) down to the common person. And, as outlined above, after we are told of the rites, laws, commandments, regulations and all that we are do to in order to properly worship God, and all that we are to do to properly treat each other, now comes the final warning: if you don’t do as I say, then I will do this to you.

And it ain’t pretty! What’s interesting is that it is not just a warning, it is a prophecy. The language of the warning, as it seems to me, is that God is not just saying “if you don’t”, but more like “when you don’t.”  God tells us what we should do, then tells us He knows we won’t. Next, He tells us what He will do to bring us back into obedience because He will not coddle us or enable our disobedience. No- what God will do when we try to act bigger than Him is to bring us down to our knees, and if that doesn’t get us back in line, He will bring us down to our hands and knees, and if that doesn’t bring us around, He will flatten us until our faces are in the dirt, and if we are still unwilling to atone, He will shove our head into the ground and step on our necks until we finally realize how stupid we have been and cry, “UNCLE!!!” Then, finally, after we do T’shuvah and return to Him, God will return to us the blessings promised for obedience.

Obedience is the fulcrum for worship: when we sin, we tilt to the side of disobedience, which results with the weight of God’s punishment falling on us like a ton of bricks; but, when we tilt to the side of obedience, God’s blessings come down from heaven like a gentle rain. The best place of all is in total obedience, at which point we are in perfect balance with God, and that will result in living in harmony with the world and at peace with each other. I like this simile because ever since God created us, we have see-sawed from one side to the other, blessed and cursed, obedient and disobedient, almost never balanced.

And if you have ever been on a see-saw and had the other person, when you were way up high, get off the see-saw you know what it feels like to be at the wrong end of God’s wrath.

Have you ever heard that it takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown? I don’t know if that is true or not, but I think, from a spiritual viewpoint, it is true because sinning is so much easier than obeying. But that doesn’t mean obedience is impossible, it is just harder to get started doing.

It is also said that if you do something 21 times in a row it becomes a habit. So if I can chose just one commandment, just one, and do it 21 days in a row, then it shouldn’t be hard anymore because it has become a habit. Are you willing to try this? Now, now- don’t pick Do Not Kill or Do Not Steal– those are too easy. Try something harder, something worth working to do, like Do Not Covet, or Keep the Sabbath. Pick any commandment that has been difficult for you to obey, and try to obey it for 21 days in a row. Mark it on your calendar, tie a string around your finger, whatever will work to keep this one commandment in front of you (let it be a frontlet between thine eyes) and see if you can do this one thing for 21 days.

If the saying is correct, then it will no longer be hard to do because it will be a habit. Imagine- what was once hard to do will now become hard not to do!

We can never be sinless, but we can always sin less. That is a reasonable goal, and one we can reach- to sin less. Less than I used to sin as a child, less than I used to sin as an adult, less than I used to sin last year, less than I sinned yesterday. One day at a time, one step at a time, one sin at a time.

You can perform one less sin today, can’t you?

Are we praying respectfully?

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Shaul (Paul) says that we should pray constantly. I talk to God a lot. I have gotten into the habit of praying to God in the morning, while I am driving to work. I used to have a long drive, so there was plenty of prayer time. Now I have the shortest commute to work since I was in the service and lived across the street, literally, from the base. But I still can pray while driving, and during the day, and at night, and every time I have a close call, or whenever I feel upset, or…well, you get the idea.

But is that respectful? I mean, is it respectful enough for the Lord of lords and King of kings?

I confess my prayers are not. I feel bad admitting to this, but I often will start in with a prayer and find myself wandering off in thought, leaving God “on hold” while I tangentially go off onto some other subject.

For instance, I will always pray that my children reconcile to me and to God, and that we can be mishpocha (family) again, centered on God.  Then I think of how I can do something to make that happen, then I go off on explaining to them why I had to leave that marriage, then before I know it I am at work and the prayer time has devolved into “me” time.

I left God on hold while answering another call. That’s not very respectful.

I hate it when I do that, and I do that a lot. I mean, a whole lotsa times!

I believe that God is so compassionate and understanding that He is not insulted, but He is still God. He deserves better than that and I have to get better at being more respectful in my prayers.

Yeshua was asked by His Talmudim (students, or Disciples) how they should pray, and He told them how- read Matthew 6:9-16. That isn’t just a prayer, it is the template for all prayer.

We start by recognizing who and what God is; only after giving God the glory and honor He deserves can we then ask for ourselves. And when we ask for ourselves, we ask for only what we need to get by that day. This represents our faith and trust in God to always provide what we need. We shouldn’t ask for a week’s worth of manna because the amount He gives us is enough. It’s enough for today, and we should know and believe He will do the same, tomorrow.

Next we ask for forgiveness of our sins, which we should do before we intercede for anyone else. Just as the Cohen HaGadol (High Priest) made atonement for himself before he asked for forgiveness of the people, we should come to God for forgiveness, through Yeshua, so that when we ask God to help others we are coming before Him cleansed and pure.

Then we stick our necks out and literally put our salvation where our mouth is: we tell God that He should forgive us as we forgive others. This is also what Yeshua warns us about in verses 6:14-15. As we forgive, we will be forgiven. As we judge, we shall be judged. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, limb for limb. If we are not willing to forgive on Earth, God will not forgive us in heaven, and this is something that we should remind ourselves of every time we ask for forgiveness. That’s why not only does Yeshua tell us to incorporate it in every prayer, but He emphasized that point after He finished telling them how to pray. Believe it- if you cannot forgive, if you refuse to forgive, then you are not truly saved. You haven’t done T’Shuvah (turn from sin) , you haven’t allowed the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) into your heart, you haven’t held up your end of the bargain!

Salvation is free for the asking, but it is not guaranteed. That’s right- all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved: but getting salvation is not keeping salvation.

If you don’t show that you have truly turned from your sins, then you can speak the words all you like- it won’t help. God isn’t stupid, and if you don’t show in your actions, especially in your forgiveness of others, that you have turned from sin and are being obedient to God, then you haven’t really changed. Just speaking the words is not enough- you can’t talk your way into heaven- you have to bring an offering before the Lord.

God tells us a couple of times that we should not come before Him empty handed (look it up- you can find it easily in Exodus and Deuteronomy regarding the Festival of Unleavened Bread.) I am taking this past the literal meaning (the P’shat) and making a small Drash on it: when we come to God here on earth we should bring to Him something, such as unleavened bread, a sacrifice, first fruits- something that He has provided for us that we bring back the very best we have, as a thank offering to Him. The best, the very best thing we can offer to God is obedience. Therefore, since we can’t bring bread or lambs or fruit of the vine to Him when we come before Him at Judgement Day, we bring the fruit of our obedience. We bring before the Lord our good works, we bring our personal and financial sacrifices that we made in His service, we bring to God the forgiveness we have shown to others while we were alive. We bring to God what He wants- we bring the proof of our T’Shuvah.

If you don’t have something to bring before God when that time comes, don’t expect to get past the gates. At least, not the pearly ones.

We also ask God to protect us from temptation.

Finally, our prayers end where they started- recognizing the awesomeness of God.

I have been praying to God for nearly (or should I say, only)  two decades- I was a late starter. And in that time I have digressed more often during my prayer than I care to admit to, but I confess it. I have to own my sin before I can give it away to God.

I constantly try to pray more respectfully, and I constantly end up asking God to forgive me when I digress. Sometimes, when I know my brain is off on a holiday, I will just thank God for everything and leave it at that, before I go off on a tangent.

Prayer is necessary, prayer should be constant, and constantly presented to God in a respectful manner.

“Doing Your Best” is just premeditated failure

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How many times have we said, “I’ll do my best” , meaning that we would try to achieve whatever it is we wanted to accomplish?

But is that really what we do? I will confess that saying “I will do my best” usually means I will try. I will attempt to accomplish that goal, but I am already prepared to fail and feel alright about it, so long as I feel I have made a real effort.

That is fine with the world- the world says give it a shot, but if you fail you are still an OK person. It’s not your fault if you fail, and as long as you feel, in your heart, you have tried to do your best then no one can say anything about it.

Well, golly gee! That’s all I need to hear. Considering I am a self-centered, self-absorbed and rationalizing (not rational, but rationalizing) human being, you have just given me the “Get Out of Jail Free” card. Just as long as I feel I have tried, I can say I gave it my best shot.

Yoda told the truth when he heard Luke said “I’ll try” to lift his spaceship out of the murky swamp: Yoda said, “Do, or do not- there is no try.”

God wants us to do, or do not. He is patient, compassionate and understanding. He knows how weak we are, how self-absorbed (I like that term because it is just so appropriate to people, isn’t it?) and how sinful, in both acts and nature, we humans are. Yet, in His Torah I do not recall anytime or anyplace where He says there are partial sins; He doesn’t tell us that we can bring to sacrifice what we feel is good enough, or to act as nice to a neighbor as we feel like. God tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves; He tells us to bring the best grain, the finest flour, animals without blemish- not the best we can find, but the best, period. Not try to act the best way we can, but act as He says we should.

God commands us, over and over, to be holy because He is holy. Not to try, or “do our best”- He commands us to BE!

There is a big difference between trying and doing. Trying gets you nothing, doing gets you everything.  What God wants is for us to be good; not to try, not to do our best, but to be good.

It is hard. In all fairness, we are weak, we are not able to be good all the time. It is a fact, but not an excuse. It is also a fact that we can be good more then we have been. We can sin less today than we sinned yesterday. We can be better; we can be more obedient; we can stop eating things we aren’t supposed to; we can treat people with more compassion. And we can constantly be better than we have been.

We can never be sinless, but we always can sin less. 

We should not say we will try our best, we should say we will do better. That is the goal- to do better. It is attainable, it is possible, and it is what will please the Lord.

God knows we cannot be as holy as He is, and He also knows we can be holier than we are: that is the “do” in our lives.

The Bible is the ultimate Self Help book, and it will teach you how, with God’s help, you can stop trying and start being.

 

 

Parashah BeHar (On the Mountain) Leviticus 25 – 26:2

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This parashah is essentially one chapter, which gives the regulations regarding the 7th year Sabbath for the land, and the Jubilee year, which comes every 7 Sabbaths (the 50th year). Anyone who had sold their land, or themselves (as debtor-slave) was to be allowed to have their land or freedom back, which could be redeemed by themself (if they had the means) or by a redeeming family member. The redemption on the Jubilee year also was to be pro-rated, based on the number of years between the sale and the Jubilee year.

Jews were subject to this law, but Gentiles were not. Although the laws for God’s people were to be the same for those who sojourned with the Jews, those that were not “converts” were to be treated differently, without the preferential compassion of a brother.

The Sabbath year is an extension of the Sabbath Day (obviously) but has a deeper meaning; resting every 7th day is to honor God, but resting the land every 7th year is not just to honor God by allowing the land to rest, but it is a statement of faith and trust in God. This was an agricultural society- you plant at the beginning of the year, you reap at the end, and what you reap needs to last you until the next harvest. In other words, you were always a year behind. To allow the land to rest in the 7th year meant that from year 7 to year 8 there is no planting, so no food for year 8. Then in year 8, you plant but there is still no food until the end of year 8, which is what you need to live on during year 9.

This means no food for 2 years. God promises that the harvest in year 6 will be so much more that it will last until  year 9: to believe that will happen is an absolute statement of faith. And to (literally) risk your life by not touching your land at all, for an entire year, is the kind of faith in God that is a “doing” faith and not just a “talking” faith. It is absolutely “walking the walk.”

In the next chapter, Leviticus 26:32, God tells us that if we fail to obey His laws regarding the Sabbath for the land He will reject us and the land will be barren. Jeremiah warns the people about this, as well, in Jeremiah 25:11:

This whole country will become a desolate wasteland, and these nations will serve the king of Babylon seventy years.

The 70 years of allowing the land to lay desolate and regain it’s rest was to pay it back, each year for a missed Sabbath year, which was foretold to the people by God in Leviticus 26, repeated by Jeremiah, referenced by Daniel and recalled in 2 Chronicles 36:21:

The land enjoyed its Sabbath rests; all the time of its desolation it rested, until the seventy years were completed in fulfillment of the word of the LORD spoken by Jeremiah.

What God says will always come true- it’s that simple, it’s that dependable. His plans will always come to fruition, despite what we mere humans try to do to avoid it. I like the idea that God is the captain of a ship, going from port to port, and we all are allowed to come along on the ride. We are also allowed to jump ship whenever we want to- whether we ride along and help, or jump off at the very next port, the ship will get from start to finish. What really matters is whether or not you are still on when it reaches it’s destination.

Also in this Parashah God reminds us that the land is His- we are stewards, not owners. He has provided the land but it is, ultimately, His land. Just like Adam and Eve were to tend the Garden, we are to tend the land. And that means letting it rest, just as we let ourselves rest. And since the land is not ours, when we sell it to others we are really subletting it;  when God says to allow it to go back to the original owner, the one in possession at the time of the Jubilee year has to allow the original owner the opportunity to buy it back. And that original owner needs to be constantly working at redeeming his land, too. Again- God gave it to him as his possession, but it belongs to God so when the person sells it, he needs to get it back because he is, ultimately, the one responsible to God for tending it.

We may ignore God, we may make excuses for not doing that which we know God really wants us to do, but in the end, God will have His way. That’s how it is, Folks- it’s His way or the Hell way. The Israelites during the time of Jeremiah, and for about half a millennium before that, didn’t pay attention to God’s rules about giving the land it’s Sabbath rests, and they ended up in Babylon serving a pagan king for 70 years.

Adam and Eve refused to do as God said and they were rejected from the land God gave them to tend, and when the nation of Israel refused to do as God said, they also were kicked out of the land God gave them to tend. Whether it ‘s 2 people, or 2 million, God doesn’t care- if you reject God, you will be rejected.

One last thought- we may not be an agricultural society anymore, we may not have fields and lands to which we can give a Sabbath year of rest, but we are still stewards of the Earth. And look what we have done to it.

If you want to show God how you appreciate the land He has given us, then recycle. Use less energy, turn off the water while you brush your teeth, treat the land, whether it is woods or city, with respect and care, as well as the animals. They all belong to God and He wants us to care for them, so do so with respect, compassion and concern.

And just as God promised those who let their lands rest that they will be blessed, I believe that those of us who care for God’s earth will also receive blessings.

 

who’s the real victim?

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Did you see in the news lately that Bill Cosby’s (upcoming) trial has already started action to initiate new laws that will extend the Statute of Limitations for sexual abuse cases?

First of all, let me state, unequivocally, that sexual abuse is wrong and that those who practice it should be punished.

Let me also state, just as unequivocally, that we are all responsible to immediately report wrong-doing, and that memories do not become more accurate as we age; in truth, they do just the opposite. How many of us know someone who has related a life-event over the years that has become more exciting and less accurate as time goes by? The person relating the event believes it is true, but for those of us listening, we know that the story has changed, over and over.

People who have done wrong should be punished, true- but what about forgiveness? I often state that sin will always have consequences in this existence, but it is the spiritual, the eternal existence that counts. Forgiveness from God (through Yeshua, the Messiah) is what we need, and forgiveness of a sin by the one who has been wronged, in this physical existence, is what the person who was hurt needs, now. The hurt never goes away without forgiveness.

God will forgive us as we forgive others, meaning- we get what we give. Check out Matthew 6:14-15.

I believe that those who have been sexually abused have an obligation to themselves and to others to report it then and there! Yes, it is embarrassing. Yes, it is painful. Yes, it is something we would rather not be associated with and want to forget. But that doesn’t change the fact that the person doing it to you will do it to someone else. If you don’t have enough self-respect and strength to report abuse for your sake, then do it to protect others. Don’t wait until it’s 20 or 30 years later, when both you and the other person might be totally different people, and who knows how many others may have been caused to suffer.

The bible says that if a sinner turns from his or her sin, then they will be forgiven. And if a righteous person becomes a sinner, they will die the second death. Even if a life-long sinner genuinely does T’shuvah (turn from sin) on their death bed, that person will be forgiven.

Crimes against others, especially sexual crimes, can have long-lasting effects. That is mostly, from what I have read and seen, because the victim doesn’t ever do anything about it.

When I was a teenager, I worked the night to morning shift at a 24 hour restaurant (Jack in the Box). One night a young man, harmless looking, came in and sweet-talked us into helping him with his Master’s program (or some such story) regarding rewards and punishments. It meant we went into the attic and answered questions, with bare-butt paddling as the negative reinforcement. All three of us went up to the attic, one at a time and yes- I allowed him to bare-butt paddle me. I was just an innocent, Long Island bred, white, middle-class protected child. The others said they didn’t allow it, but I don’t believe them. Afterwards, I knew it was wrong, told my parents and we filed a police report. As I recall, the police did know the person but I never found out what happened.

Because I did the right thing, I feel no regret or embarrassment- the thing to remember about those that prey on others is that they are really, really good at it, and we are, as a species, really, really stupid. When we accept that we are a trusting and gullible people, being a victim isn’t as traumatic.

If Bill Cosby is guilty, he will be punished, but this entire incident is a shame because one of the most beloved celebrities of our day is ruined, no matter what the outcome. And all the fond memories of his past activities are also ruined. I feel a personal loss because of this, don’t you? If he did these things, he deserves punishment, but 30 years later? At some point, when do we learn to let go and move on?

That’s the real issue, isn’t it? Forgiving and moving on. We like to be the victim, we prefer to accept the pity that the world gives to victims instead of realizing that we should be chastised for being a coward and unconcerned about the safety of others by refusing to come forward at the time it happens.

I believe the victim should be held just as responsible to report the abuse as the abuser should be held responsible for abusing the victim. And if that means telling them that it is too late now, too much time has gone by, then so be it!

The Statute of Limitations should be a reasonable time after the incident; the facts should be reported immediately while they are still accurately remembered. Extending the law that has been on the books for a long time already just because of one case is an over-reaction. If the accused had been some Joe Blow from Nowheresville, no one would care. But just because it is a well-known celebrity, some politician who wants to get his or her name on a law is making a big deal out of it.

Bill Cosby has become the victim now- not of sexual abuse, but of self-empowering and power-hungry politicians.

We don’t want someone to “get away” with doing wrong. Well, sure- that’s how we should feel. That’s why God invented punishment. Duh! And the guilty will be punished- if not here on earth, then when they face the Lord on the Day of Judgment.

But what if they atone and ask forgiveness? Do we then punish them? Doesn’t Yeshua say to forgive not 7 times, but 70 times 7 times? If someone does something wrong on earth, which means some innocent person will suffer for it (the innocent always do), then that person should be punished. It is right, it is morally the thing to do, it is biblical.

I think the answer, at least for me, is to forgive but not totally forget. In other words, forgive someone who asks to be forgiven (actually, forgive them even if they don’t ask- what they do or don’t do isn’t what God is concerned with: God is concerned with what you do when you have been sinned against), render fair and proper punishment, then accept them back. BUT- you don’t have to trust them. Not until they have earned it.

And report wrong-doing. Even if you are embarrassed, even if the memory is painful- do it for yourself, do it to protect others, do it because it is not just the right thing to do but what God commands you to do (Leviticus 5:1):

If you are called to testify about something you have seen or that you know about, it is sinful to refuse to testify, and you will be punished for your sin.

Not reporting evil is allowing it to continue, and you are just as guilty as the person doing the evil. We MUST prevent evil by reporting it. Look to your history, look to the Nazi’s, look back further to Japan attacking China, look back further to slavery in the New World, look back further to…well, you get the point. What we fail to fight, we empower to continue.

Don’t let evil continue- report evil wherever and whenever you see it, even if it is a personally painful and embarrassing thing. If you let it alone, it will never go away.

 

Stand or sit: it’s all the same to Uncle Sam

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If you follow this blog, you know that I rarely, if ever, get involved in political stuff. But the White House has gone too far, this time.

Within the past few weeks, the White House (i.e., President Obama) has issued a letter to public schools (you can “google” it) that says, essentially, if a student says they are gay or transgender they must be allowed to use whichever bathroom their gender identification makes them comfortable using.

In other words, we will now have 4-5 bathrooms available: one with an image of a man, one has an image of a woman, one is marked “Family”, one has a blue handicap banner, and the last one has a question mark on it.

No medical determination has to be submitted, just a letter from the parent saying Junior isn’t really Junior anymore.

OK- we know from the bible that gender identification issues, in whichever form it takes, has been around as long as gender has been around. It is as much a part of humanity as sin, and will continue to be around until the Day of the Lord is over. Once the final battle is fought, the new Jerusalem is lowered from heaven and all the saved are resurrected, I don’t know if we will even have gender. Maybe at that time we will be beyond gender, beyond sexual activity (that doesn’t sound like heaven, does it? But, well, maybe?) and all of this will be a moot argument.

But until then, we have to live with it. I don’t see this for anything other than what it is- a mockery of God. God made man and woman, separate, distinct and designed to help each other. It is how things are designed in this world- two of the same thing can’t become any more than double what they are- no synergy, no improvement, no change. Two men, two women- only that. Two of the same.

But put a man and a woman together, and you get three things, Not double of the same, but three distinct and unique things. Then you get four, and more and more and more. There is improvement, there is synergy, there is the working of God’a plan.

When we say ‘transgender’, ‘homosexual’ or whatever label we use as an identification that is anything other than what the person’s anatomy identifies him or her as, then we are making a mockery of God’s creation and insulting the Lord who:

“…created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

Wait a minute! It says He created them in His image- male and female He created them. Hmmmm??? Does that mean God is both male and female? Is God a transgender? I mean, He identifies Israel as His son but also as His bride, and He is often referred to in the plural throughout the bible. Maybe we should all be transgender, right? Perhaps we should all be mollusks because all mollusks are hermaphrodites. That would solve this whole issue, wouldn’t it? If we were all blessed with male and female anatomies, then there wouldn’t be domestic violence- I mean, really, who would beat himself up? There wouldn’t be rape, there wouldn’t be expensive shoes for women and cheap shoes for men (how come the government doesn’t pass laws dealing with why women’s clothing is so much more expensive than men’s clothing, huh?), and there wouldn’t be any issue with using separate bathrooms.

I don’t think God wanted humans to be clams. He made us human, He made us in His image, meaning above the animals and spiritually aware. His image has nothing to do with sex or gender, and if God had intended for us to be non-gender specific, He would have made us that way. Adam and Eve didn’t seem to have any issues with who each of them was, but somewhere down the line someone got confused.

I am not homo-phobic. I am not a hater of those who have gender identification issues. I am simply a person who believes that what God did was to make us separate so that we would complement each other. He made us to be men and women, and that is what we are. I believe those with gender identity issues are suffering from either a hormonal imbalance, or a mental/emotional issue that represents itself in gender identification. I believe that it is something that can be treated, something to be seen as an emotional or physiological imbalance, and something to be handled respectfully and compassionately.

I have close family members who are homosexual, and I love them. I enjoy being with them, and I don’t tell them how they should be and they don’t tell me. They know how I feel and I know how they feel, but we love each other because we are family, and I can love the person even though I  disagree with their choice of lifestyle. And, yes- I believe it is a choice. That should not insult or bother anyone who thinks it is normal. I choose to accept God, His word and what He says in the bible. If someone tells me they don’t, I am not insulted. That is the one thing that really gets my goat- the hypocrisy of people. If I disagree with someone, it’s horrible and wrong for me to do so, but it is perfectly acceptable for that person to call me a bigot and hateful just because I disagree with them. If they think apples taste good and I don’t like apples, does that make me a bigot? Am I apple-phobic if I say I wouldn’t eat an apple pie if my life depended on it?

The real issue here is that the government has rejected God, again. First we threw Him out of the school when we refused to allow people who believe in Him to say, “One nation, under God” in the pledge of allegiance. In fact, we got rid of the pledge, altogether. Then we threw Him out of the court system when the 10 Commandments were considered improper on a courthouse.

Now we are mocking Him by ignoring the most basic creation of God: gender difference. Sit or stand, it makes no difference to Uncle Sam, you can all use the same bathroom, and at the same time, too!

Do you have a young daughter? A son entering puberty? Do you feel comfortable knowing they may have to share a bathroom with a child of the (physically) opposite gender? Or, worse, at a public building like a Target department store (yes, I understand they have embraced this whole idea) your 13 year old daughter going into a bathroom where there may be a man who is 40?

Do the kids really understand? Children entering and going through puberty don’t even understand their own gender yet: how can they possible make the life-changing decision that it isn’t the right one?

Better get ready, Folks- the end is coming up on us faster and faster every day.

 

Parashah Emor (Speak) Leviticus 21 – 24

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There is enough in here to fill a book. I could write a whole chapter of a book just on Leviticus 23, the designations of the Holy Days…oh wait! I already did- it’s Chapter 7 in my book.

God tells Moses and Aaron the requirements for priesthood: about who they can marry, keeping clean (ceremonially) and who may eat of the holy foods. He also tells them those who serve must not have a blemish or an unnatural (today we would say challenged) physique.

It also, as I mentioned above, designates the Festivals of the Lord, the 7 Holy Days (not holidays, but Holy Days- read my book) that God has separated and commanded us to observe:

The Sabbath

Passover Passover is not 7 days long: it is just from the evening meal until midnight, when the angel passed over.

Hag Ha Matzot The next seven days are called Hag ha Matzot, the Festival of Unleavened Bread. First Fruits is also celebrated the first day after the first Shabbat after Passover starts.

Shavuot Festival of Weeks, which includes the counting of the Omer and is celebrated by Christians as the Pentecost (50 days). For Jews it celebrates also the giving of the Torah, although that is civil, not biblical.

Rosh HaShanah The bible declares this day as Yom T’Ruah, the memorial celebration with sounding of trumpets. The civil holiday it has become is a new year celebration. According to God, the new year begins 14 days before the Passover, with the month of Aviv (now called Nissan)

Yom Kippur The Day of Atonement is when we ask God to move from the Seat of Judgment to the Seat of Mercy and forgive us for our sinfulness and the sins we have committed. Of course, we are to ask forgiveness every day, but this was a special time, and the only time that the Cohen HaGadol, the High Priest, was allowed to enter the Holy of Holies.

Sukkot The Festival of Tabernacles is when we build small tabernacles, or open roofed shelters and live in them for a week, to recall the way we lived in the desert for 40 years. Today (not from Torah but a Rabbinical add-on) we also celebrate Sh’mini Atzeret, the Eighth Day, also called Simchat Torah (Joy of Torah). On that day we read the final lines of the Torah, then while the congregation sings (and dances in some synagogues) the Torah is turned back to the beginning, and the cycle of reading starts all over again.

The one thing I want to discuss today is at the very end of this parashah. Leviticus 24:22, where God says:

Ye shall have one manner of law, as well for the stranger, as for the home-born; for I am the Lord, your God

This command is one of the most important of all commandments in the Torah, as far as I am concerned, because it signifies clearly that God makes no distinction between your geographic origin, your parent’s beliefs, or whether you are white, black, or multi-colored: as far as God is concerned, His laws are for everyone and it doesn’t matter where you are from or how you were raised. There is only one God, Adonai; there are only His rules and laws; like them or not, you are subject to them if you say you worship Him.

If you profess to worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob then these laws are for you. Period.

Most, if not all, Christian religions teach differently, and any religion that says these Holy Days do not need to be observed or that any part of the Torah is not necessary, by definition that religion cannot be worshiping the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

If you are being told the Torah, the holy days in Leviticus 23, or that the Old Covenant is all just “Jewish” stuff, then you need to find out who you are worshiping, because it ain’t the God Moses worshiped!

 

Wanting what I do or doing what I want

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It’s the dilemma that (I believe) all those who are Born Again suffer with: am I doing what I want to do to please God, or am I doing what I want to do because it pleases me?

Shaul (Paul- that nice Jewish boy from Tarsus) had this problem, too. He tells us about it in his letter to the Roman Believers (7:15):

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

The Talmud tells us we are all born with the yetzer hara (the evil inclination) and only years later does the yetzer hatov (the good inclination) develop. The yetzer hara can, when controlled by the yetzer hatov, be made useful for it is the desire to have things that are pleasing to us, and so having a spouse, a house, a job- all these can be attributed to the yetzer hara and, when controlled by the yetzer tov, these desires of our hedonistic hearts can be channeled into useful and Godly activities.

However, what we really need to do is that which is pleasing to God, and to know what that is is to first learn to not trust ourselves. We are, by nature, self-centered, self-important, self-absorbed and NOT self-controlled. That which is of us is not that which is of God; that which is of God (the Ruach HaKodesh) is in those of us who have accepted Messiah Yeshua and asked for the Spirit, which we must learn to listen to. It is the small, still voice of God that Elijah heard, and not the loud shouting of the yetzer hara that Ahab listened to.

The Ruach tells us what God wants us to do whereas the yetzer hara tells us what we want to do, which is to please our physical bodies, to be the center of all things and to have more toys than everyone else, no matter what it takes to get them.

The yetzer hatov is not, in my opinion, the same as the Ruach HaKodesh. The yetzer hatov is, in Freudian terms, the ego, controlling the basic, animal desire for self-gratification, which is the Id. The Ruach HaKodesh is more like the Superego, which deals with the morality of what we take (Id) or ask for (Ego) from the world.

I am not an expert in the field of  psychology, but I think the above simile is feasible as an example. We all want what we want- that is as primal as the need for self-preservation. Maslow (back to the Psych 101 class) had 10 levels of self actualization, which describes how he believes the human psyche works. We start at the very basic needs- food, water, shelter, and advance from physical needs, to safety, to love, to esteem, and finally to the highest levels where we have morality, understanding and acceptance.

The science of human psychology is fascinating, and having been in sales for a long time, I am glad that I have a fair understanding of human nature- it is essential to being a successful salesperson. But what really helps is to know the Lord, to know what He wants from us (that means to read the bible, duh!) and to have the Ruach HaKodesh to lead us. It’s OK if you have developed your Superego, if you are at the tenth level of self-actualization, if you have studied under the Guru, whatever- it’s all good to be a “humanly” moral and self-actualized person. But that isn’t someone with the spirit of God leading them. The Ruach will never lead you incorrectly, whereas human leadership is more based on what we want and what the world says you should be. It can’t be any other way: social morality is defined by the culture, right? It may be OK to cane a child in the Philippines for breaking the law, but not in the USA. Therefore, to be a morally upright person means to be in accordance with the moral and ethical norms of the society in which you live.

To be a godly person means to be within the moral and ethical norms of God’s word- the Torah. Human morality is based on your social or geographical environment, but God’s morality is based on what God says it is. It is universal. The bible tells us over and over what God wants of us; Old Covenant or New Covenant doesn’t matter- both are based on the Torah. Yeshua (Jesus) taught nothing but what is in the Torah, so the Torah is where we all need to start and where we all need to stay.

Religion is in the same category as social morality- each one is developed by people and each one has it’s own rules about right and wrong. The Torah is the foundation for all the Judeo-Christian religions, but so many different religions have built on the Torah in so many different ways that it is now buried under so many rules and canon that we don’t even see it anymore. Even within Judaism, the one religion that is closest to honoring the Torah as it was given to us by God, has almost over-ridden it with the Talmud, a document made by people. And there are 7 different forms of Judaism today: how can that be? One God, one Torah, but 7 ways to worship?

Oy! No wonder we’re all so screwed up!

The bottom line is the one that counts, right? So, nu? what’s the bottom line? It’s this:

God has no religion.

Read the bible, forget what religion tells you to do, and when you (if you haven’t yet) accept:

  1. that Yeshua is the Messiah God promised us;
  2. accept Him in your heart;
  3. ask God for forgiveness through the sacrificial atonement Yeshua completed for you;
  4. ask that the Comforter, the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit, be given to you and indwell within you

then you will have the ability to know what to do and what not to do from God’s perspective (so long as you teach yourself to listen to the  Ruach.) 

In the meantime, try to live by this rule:

If the world likes it, most likely God doesn’t.

That’s easy enough to understand, isn’t it?