Tag: work

Parashah Chaiyei Sarah (the Life of Sarah) Genesis 23-25

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The end of the beginning, and the beginning of the promise happen in this Parashah. Abraham and Sarah, the beginning of the Jewish faith, both die in this parashah, and between the passing of Sarah and Abraham, Isaac is married to Rivkah (Rebekah) and it is through his progeny that we have the founding of both the 12 tribes of Israel and also the nations of the Arab people (In Gen. 25:23 God tells Rebakah she has two nations in her womb.)

The burial cave of Abraham is in Hebron, a very dangerous place for Jews to visit as the majority of Hebron is Arab controlled, with a few Jewish settlements. I have been told by people who have made multiple visits to Israel that, as sad as it is, a place so important to Judaism is so dangerous to see that most Jews going to Israel will not be able to visit it.

The Chumash (a “Chumash” is a commentary of the 5 books of Moses, the Torah, as well as the Haftarah readings.  The one I have is the Soncino edition, and was a present from my Reform Temple when I had my Bar Mitzvah) states that when Sarah died the blessings and pious customs of the Patriarch stopped, and were not re-initiated until Rebekah came into the tent. This is understandable because the wife is the one in charge of the household. The Father is the leader of the family, but the wife is, traditionally, the one who runs the house.

Here is an excerpt from the chabad.org website which describes the role of the Jewish wife (I bold printed explanations I have added):

She has been entrusted with, and is completely in charge of, the kashrut (ceremonial cleanliness) of the foods and beverages that come into her kitchen and appear on the dining table. She has been given the privilege of ushering in the holy Shabbat by lighting the candles on Friday, in ample time before sunset. Thus she actually and symbolically brightens up her home with peace and harmony and with the light of Torah and mitzvot (laws, as well as good deeds). It is largely in her merits that G-d (many Jews will not misuse God’s name, even in the spelling of it) bestows the blessing of true happiness on her husband and children and the entire household. This is the great task and mission which G–d gave to Jewish women – to observe and disseminate the observance of Taharat Hamishpachah (Laws of the Family) and of the other vital institutions of Jewish family life. For besides being the fundamental mitzvot and the cornerstone of the sanctity of Jewish family life, as well as relating to the well-being of the children in body and soul, these pervade and extend through all Jewish generations to eternity.

Too often we hear people tell of the misogyny of the bible, but in truth both in the New and Old Covenants, woman are respected and honored. The problem people have with the bible is the separation of the roles of men and women. That would be, in my opinion, like saying (I really don’t like sports analogies, but have to admit they often work really well) the pitcher of a baseball team should also play in the outfield, and the catcher should be allowed to pitch. If you are not familiar with baseball, this is a ridiculous thought, since each of these positions are unique in the skills needed. True, there may be someone talented enough to pitch well and play the outfield, but you can’t do both at the same time, or do both interchangeably and do each one well. The wife has her role, the husband his role, and when they work together they can achieve something impossible to achieve when everyone does the same thing- that is called synergy.  Synergy is defined as when the total is greater than the sum of its parts.

In my world, the world of technology, we need to have anti-virus programs to protect our data. However, if you have two anti-virus programs running simultaneously (both checking every single data stream, both reading through every file for something unusual, both tracking and dissecting every attempt to read or change anything on the hard drive), instead of having twice the efficiency, what happens is that you can’t get anything done! The computer resources are so over-worked that even opening a web site takes longer, editing a Word document takes a lifetime, and you end up with less productivity than if you had no anti-virus running at all. Now, if you have an anti-virus program and you supplement it with an anti-malware program, which doesn’t interfere with the anti-virus but adds to its effectiveness by checking things the anti-virus doesn’t, now you have a synergistic effect.

This is what we want in the Jewish home. Actually, in every home there should be the proper separation of roles that husband and wife play so they can show their children how well people can get along when they are different, have different things that they do, and work together as a team.

When Sarah died, a very important team member of the family was missing, so that role, that position on the field (so to speak), was left unoccupied. When Rivkah (Rebekah) joined the family (in Hebrew, family is “Mishpachah”) that role was again filled. Hence, the blessings that the wife provides within the family unit returned to Isaac and Abraham.

This is what is so wonderful about the bible- you read about Sarah dying and with the appropriate commentary and understanding of the cultural and historical context, you receive a message that is not directly given in the text. We read about Sarah’s death and then Isaac took his new wife into his mother’s tent, indicating that Rebekah took over the role of Sarah, and with that the family was once again made whole and the blessings available that are based on the role of the wife returned to the Patriarch.

How do you distribute the responsibilities in your home? Are they seen as a burden or as a blessing?  Does the husband help the wife and the wife help the husband, or do you both just do what you want to do? I clean the dishes because Donna usually does the cooking, and since I will be retiring at the end of this year I will be able to cook more often and when I do, Donna will clean up. Donna does most of the outside gardening, and I do most of the heavy lifting and work in the yard. We know that we each have our own duties to perform as a team, which doesn’t mean we always do the same things but that we do what we each need to do and work together to accomplish getting everything done; we each work within our best skill sets. It may not be “perfectly biblical” with regards to what we each do, but it is biblical in that we each have our own role to play and we are responsible to do what we are supposed to do for , as well as with, each other.

Don’t let the world’s view rule your life. The world says that everyone should be the same, everyone gets the same treatment, and that everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want to: C’mon, let’s get real!- having the right to do whatever you want to do doesn’t mean you have the ability.  The truth is that we are all different, blessed with talents that are meant to serve the Lord (not ourselves) and when we use the gifts God gave us to serve Him and each other, then we will live such a blessed existence that heaven will almost appear to be anti-climatic!

Treat each other with respect, work together to achieve synergy, do what you are supposed to do before you worry about what the other person is supposed to do, and if that person needs help, then help. Teamwork is not doing something for someone else, it is doing what you are supposed to do and then, if the other person needs help, supplementing their duties. That is how you achieve synergy, and I believe God wants us to be synergistic in our relationships with each other and with Him.

 

can’t we all just get along?

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No. No, we can’t. We never have, we don’t, and we never will. Not even after Yeshua comes down from heaven, riding on the clouds, will we be able to get along with each other. Even after 1,000 years of Yeshua’s rule on Earth, we still won’t be able to get along with each other, as evidenced by the fact that after the 1,000 years the enemy will be freed from the pit and he (or she- let’s not be sexist about this) will be able to convince the majority of the world to battle against Yeshua.

Let’s get real, Folks- people have never gotten along. Cain killed Abel and there were only 4 people in the world! At the very beginning of mankind, 25% of the total population was murdered. Not the best way to start, wouldn’t you agree?  We have always been in conflict with each other- Ishmael was a man who would always be against other men, and have other men against him.

Genesis 16:12 – “He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.”

What if that scripture verse means more than just being about Ishmael? What if Ishmael, a son of Abraham but not the son of the promise, represents the world, and Isaac, the one who is the son of the promise, represents those who accept God and His Messiah? Then we could say that the world of non-Believers (Ishmael and his brothers) will never be at peace or be able to “get along.” History has certainly proven that to be true.

The Lord has always commanded us to be holy, as He is holy, and to be holy means to be separated from the rest of the world. If we are to be separated, then (by definition) we cannot all get along with each other. We are not to intermarry, we are not to “hang out” together, we are not to allow their beliefs to influence ours.

Now, this doesn’t mean we can’t tolerate each other, or abide with each other, or even just not hate each other. We can deal with that- the love and compassion that we learn from God is what allows us to remain separated from non-Believers but still able to have relationships that are not aggressive. Love the sinner but hate the sin- that’s what we are taught, and to do that we need to be patient, understanding, and (for many of us) we need to remember that we were like them, once, too.

But we are not to be unevenly yoked. What does that mean, really? If someone is a Believer and married to another Believer, they are evenly yoked, right? Maybe not- what if one is walking the walk and the other is a professed Believer, but really doesn’t walk the walk, or live like a Believer should live? They are both “Believers”, in name, but not in real life. To me, that is unevenly yoked.

On the other hand, what if a Believer is married to someone who has not gotten down on their knees and said the “sinners prayer” thing- what if the other person has not read the bible or gone to “church” or do any of the normal things a “real” Believer does. Yet, that person is honest, does believe in God, does believe Yeshua (or Jesus) is the Messiah and died for their sins, and does, albeit reluctantly, recognize that he or she is a sinner and needs to be saved. What if that non-professed Believer, married to a professed Believer, lives the life a Believer should live? I would say they are evenly yoked.

Of course we can’t all get along. Sheesh! What if my god says to kill anyone who doesn’t believe in him? What if your god says that it doesn’t matter what anyone else believes? What if I don’t believe in any god or spiritual being, at all? What if I really just don’t care- my religion is hedonism, or evolution (that’s become almost a religion, hasn’t it?), or I’m some nut-case like Jim Jones or Father Divine? Can you get along with someone like that?

We are not meant to get along. Remember the story of the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9)? God purposefully confused the language and spread people all over the Earth so that they would not be able to get along. We are not meant to get along- it is evident throughout the bible and throughout history. We are a warring, prideful, selfish, grabbing and never-satisfied species. We were given the duty and the honor to tend for God’s creation and look what we’ve done to it- we’ve enslaved our fellow humans, hunted thousands of species to extinction, and are destroying the very planet we need to live on.

Man! This post is a real downer! Yes, it is- it is sad, it is depressing, and it is a real shame that it is also the truth.

So, nu? What do we do?  We find a Doctor of Proctology to extract our heads from where they are and place them back where they belong so we can start to do what is right for ourselves, our animals and our planet. We also wait: we wait for Yeshua to return. And while we’re waiting, we who are separated must stay separated, but also be very visible. We should continue to preach the Word, we should continue to be “fishers of men”, we must go into the darkness because we are the light (light is definitely separated from darkness) and we should continue to pray for strength and guidance from God, through His Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit.)

We can’t all get along; no matter what, there will always be one who just can’t handle peaceful relationships. It’s like a perfect Democracy- it can’t exist with more than 1 person. So we do the next best thing, we work with what we have as best as we can.

We will never be able to all get along, but each of us can try to be patient and understanding of others. Don’t hate because someone is different, don’t deny justice or opportunity because someone is different, and accept people for what and who they are, even if they are sinful. You can work with someone who is totally different than you are, so long as both of you are willing to put up with the other and both work to attain a similar goal. If that isn’t possible, then get away and try with someone or somewhere else.

We can’t all get along, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all work together. Accept differences, respect people’s right (God given right, that is) to make up their own minds, tell them what you believe but don’t try to ram it down their throat, and more than anything else show them what you believe by how you live your life.

We who are “Born Again” must live in the world, but we are no longer part of it. We are in a crowd of people yet separate from them, and we will not all get along with each other.

But living as God tells us to live, we can get along with most.

Pet Peeves

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Sometimes you just have to wonder how we ever got this far as a species.

I love the word puzzles in the morning- they get my brain started. Today a word puzzle had the answer , “Good mothers have sticky floors, dirty ovens and (happy kids).” Really? I thought the main thing a parent was to do was to prepare their children for independence, teach them to be able to care for themselves as well as their family. Good mothers don’t have to sacrifice cleanliness and respect for property just to have happy children, do they?

In a previous life I owned a 2-bedroom condo, and I asked who I was married to at that time to please clean it once a week (she stayed at home with our daughter, who was only 2 at the time) because the dog hairs would get all over my clothes (I was a Bank Officer, so dog hairs covering my legs was not acceptable.) That was it- please vacuum the 895 sq ft or so once a week. I was told (and I quote), “What do you want? A clean house or a wife that loves you?” I was amazed, because I never realized that these things were self-exclusionary! I can be loved or I can have a clean house, but not both.

We need to raise our children to be loving, competent, respectful, compassionate AND able to clean up after themselves! Cleanliness doesn’t have to be sacrificed to be a good parent or spouse. Proverbs says that if we raise a child in the way he should go he will return to it. And the bible does NOT say if we spare the rod we spoil the child: what Proverbs says is that if we do not discipline our children we condemn them to death! Good parents do not condemn their children to death.

Another thing- I saw an article the other day about alcoholism, but they don’t call it that anymore. Now it’s AUD – Alcohol Use Disorder. It’s not so much a disease (having a disease is bad), it’s really just a disorder. By softening the name of a thing it seems to make the thing less our fault. It’s all part of that “Not really my fault” attitude that makes our kids irresponsible and our lives less meaningful. When you think everything that happens to you is someone else’s fault, you are really telling yourself you have no control over your actions and that means you have no hope to be happy. Your problems are from someone else and so your happiness must, as well, come from someone else. You can’t be happy on your own. Hopeless, useless, just a leaf blowing in the wind. Not a good way to live, is it?

What’s next? Serial killers will say they have RMD (Random Murder Disorder)? Transsexuals will have NGSD (Native Gender Specific Disorder)?  Career criminals can say they suffer LPOD (Legal Property Ownership Disorder)? Those who are infected with the pandemic of not being politically correct, bigoted and ignorant can fall under the banner of suffering from SABD (Socially Acceptable Behavior Disorder)?

Let’s just call it what it is and face the music about what we do and say. Yeshua told us that our ‘yes’ should be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ should be ‘no’, because anything else is from the evil one. That’s a strong statement- if we don’t face the music and be honest with ourselves and others, we are essentially doing Satan’s work.

Does your company have quarterly “Kudos”? We do- every quarter the managers make up kudos about their people, and we also have attitude awards where you say I did something really special this time and next time I will say you did something really special. Forced recognition of others, just to say,  “Look at how wonderfully we treat our employees.”

I won’t say what that is called, but you can plant flowers in it.

I have been in management most of my life and understand the value of recognizing good work. I also understand how forcing people to say good things about others undervalues recognition. People today generally have this attitude of, “I show up every day, usually on time, I usually don’t leave early, and I do the minimum I am supposed to do, usually without problems. I deserve a merit raise!” Huh? It’s called a merit raise because it is supposed to be earned by doing meritorious work- that doesn’t mean just doing what you are supposed to do. That means regularly, and effectively, doing more than what is expected from you. Here’s what Yeshua says about meritorious raises for just doing what you are supposed to do (Luke 17:7-10):

Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’

If you want a raise then earn it- just like John Houseman said in the old Smith Barney commercials about how they make money: “We earn it!” If you want a raise or a promotion, then do more than anyone else does so you can earn it! It shouldn’t, and most of the time isn’t, just given out.  I am pretty sure everyone reading this (both of you) know people who have received a promotion by simply being around long enough to get it – do you really think they were qualified for it?

The only thing you can get without earning it (in fact, you can’t earn it) is salvation. And even salvation, free as it is, requires you to work for it to keep it (search this site for ‘losing salvation’ to see why I say that.)

There are so many social and political ills in the world, and America isn’t the only country with them. Every country, everywhere, has the same problems because we all have one thing in common that we cannot escape- we are all human. If we did what God wants from us things would be so much better, and even though we will fail at times, by trying and keeping at it we can be better. God has given us all the answers we need for anything and everything that we have to deal with in the world, and He also provided for us the means to have eternal joy after we leave this lousy place. But we need to take stock of ourselves, be honest with ourselves and others, let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ be ‘no’, and even more important than that, we need to know when to say yes and when to say no. To do that correctly, constantly, requires more insight and understanding than most humans have, inherently. That’s where the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) helps- it is our comforter because it guides us and helps us find the correct decisions to those hard questions. And, not only does it give us the strength to make them, but also the strength and perseverance to abide by them.

I am ranting here, and my rants may be a little under-researched, I may not understand completely the reasons for some of these things, and I may be way off the mark on others but I know, absolutely, that the bible has all the answers we need, and that faith in God will provide us the wisdom to accept what the proper answers are, and strengthen us to do what is right.

The world thinks it has all the answers, and it does- only it’s answers are wrong.

Write it, Re-write it, Do it a Third Time, then Delete it

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Before I was concerned about what God would think I would not slow down or think about what I said when reacting to something that bothered me.

My boss just sent a response to a customer apologizing for how things were handled, and I was the one handling it, and I was handling it the way he told me to handle it.

I wrote back this morning asking him why he apologized, then I wrote down how it made me feel, and then I started in with what good managers do, what a real manager does, and after writing it, I deleted everything after “Please tell me why you wrote this.”

I then started in again about management skills and good vs. bad managers, then deleted that, too.

After one or two more of these, I ended up just asking for an explanation and saying it made me feel like I was being hung out to dry to make him look good, and asking if he would please tell me who he is apologizing for.

Even that may be too ‘harsh’, but hey! I may be saved, but I’m still human, and telling someone how what they did makes one feel is not a bad thing, so long as it is done in a non-blaming or accusatory way. Things are stressful at work and my poor boss, who really doesn’t want the job and is not handling it very well, is more stressed than we are. But that is what being the boss means, and if he can’t handle it he should ask his manager to let him go back to being a tech.

One could make an argument that his boss should already know about what is happening.

So, nu? What’s my point here? My point is that even if my boss did the worst thing any boss can do, the worst thing that anybody can do (for that matter) which is to make me look bad so he looks good, as  a Believer I should be able to demonstrate fairness and patience. I should wait to decide what is happening until I hear his side, too. I can’t stop my emotional reaction, but with the Ruach I can control it to the point where I delete those messages that I would, in the flesh, prefer to send.

We need to do this all the time, not just with silly little misunderstandings at work, even when they aren’t silly or misunderstandings. We (meaning those that profess to be God-fearing) should show those who don’t know the Lord that we can overcome the flesh and the emotions that it brings because we have the Ruach (Spirit) to help guide us to be compassionate and fair. And patient to hear the whole story.

This isn’t a “Make it or Break it” event for me- I understand the management issues where I work. They aren’t really any different than any other place I have worked at. And because I am only 1 1/2 years away from retiring, it does make it harder to take. Truth to tell, God has blessed us enough that if I wanted to quit tomorrow we could afford it, although it would be really stupid to do because we have a number of big expenses coming to finish this house upgrade and I would rather pay them from earned income and not from savings.

But still, it is hard to overcome the flesh. That’s no excuse for Believers. Just like a boss who should take the “heat” for his or her people when something doesn’t go right, we have to show what having the spirit of God inside us means, how it separates us from those without spiritual guidance, and to make sure what we do brings glory to God.

So go forth into the world of flesh, and do so with the strength not to succumb to the flesh, which we get from the Ruach HaKodesh that lives inside of us. Yeshua called it the Comforter, so let it do it’s job and comfort you when you feel abused, ignored, mistreated and unfairly accused.

Get used to it because if you are going to be a Believer in the tribulations to come, that is the kind of treatment you can expect from nearly everyone.

Every day, in every way, we are in training for the End Times.

Be Careful What You Ask For

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Just shoot me!! It seems like everyone brought back problems from their long weekend and they all are taking a long time to resolve.

To remind you, I am a Help Desk Tech and I thought yesterday was going OK, not too bad during the morning, then all of a sudden, late in the afternoon, I resolved one ticket and looked at my board and there were 7 new tickets. No way was I going to be able to get to them all today.

I remember years ago, when I was working in home remodeling as a Project Coordinator (the person who ordered the materials, assigned the crew to the job and scheduled it with the customer) that I was trying to learn how to rely on the Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) for strength and endurance (emotional), and after asking God to teach me how to do that, my job responsibilities doubled, literally, overnight.

At first I reacted as a human, seeing only the “flesh” in that situation, and thought, “Somebody shoot me! NOW!” It wasn’t until a few days after this happened that I (finally) realized that this was the answer to my prayer. I asked God to teach me to rely on His spirit, and for that to happen I need to be in a place where my own strength will not be enough. I will need to be “up the creek without a paddle” because to fall into the hands of the Holy One of Israel, you need to be falling with nothing else to hold onto.

That’s how we humans are-always wanting to save ourselves, never wanting to admit that we can’t. It is a kind of conundrum, since self-preservation is a natural reaction whereas to call on God is something we have to think to do. For us, myself included, calling on God should be the first thing we do, but it seems to come in second or third when the chips are down. We seem, I seem, to always default to trying to figure it out on my own.

So, I asked God for help and He threw me into the fire. Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayer, even though it was a bit of a shocker. As many of us have learned, God always answers prayers, but rarely exactly the way we expect Him to and most often not when we want Him to.

I want to reconcile with my children and have done everything I know how to do, without doing what I know won’t work anyway, and I am in a place where I have only God to help me. I ask that He send them angels to guide them to Him, or to give them a spirit of curiosity to know what Dad’s side in this travesty is, or just to get us sending each other an occasional email. I just want them back in my life, and I want to be part, any part (other than the past) of their lives. I trust God to answer this prayer, but I don’t trust my kids to do their part.

You see, I believe that God will send angels, and that God will give them a spirit of curiosity, but each and every one of us has the free will God gave us to choose what we will do, and even though whatever God wants done will get done, God will not force someone to accept Him. And God will not force anyone to love anyone else.

God will lead us to water but He won’t make us drink- we have to choose to drink. And when we ask God for something in our lives, assuming that we ask for something that is righteous and in His will for us, He will be trustworthy and faithful to answer that prayer. So you better be ready, and looking for that answer.

I am careful, now, what I ask of God because I know the power of prayer and that God will do what is best for me, in the long run. That means it may not seem like the best for me when it happens. I ask for Him to show me, without doubt, like with Gideon and the fleece, what He wants of me. But it scares the heck out of me that when I hear that answer I won’t be strong enough to obey. So I also pray that when He does answer me, He will also make it so that I have the strength and faithfulness to do what He asks.

I know myself- if God wants me to do something that I will have to do without my wife, I don’t think I can. If He requires me to do something that means we have to move away from this house, I don’t think I can. I am not strong enough, faithful enough, and it scares me to death that I will finally hear, absolutely, what God wants of me and I will “pull a Jonah.”

That’s why I am careful what I ask for. I confess, and I hope you don’t think less of me, but I am still struggling to find the strength that Moshe found, that David lived, that Hosea showed and that the Talmudim of Yeshua had, which enabled them to suffer with dignity.

Yet, with all the fear and trembling I have when asking God to strengthen me, I still ask. That’s because, in the long run, it’s all about what He wants and it’s all about what He desires. It’s not about me, or Donna, or my family, or my job….He can replace all of that (as he did with Job.)  No, Steve- it’s not about what you want: it’s all about what He wants.

And to make it worse, even though I would like Him to wait until I feel ready, I know He knows better than me when I am ready and He will not give me anything I cannot handle.

That’s the scary part: I know no matter how impossible it seems, I have no excuse because when God is with me, who can be against me?