A Friend in Need….

September 6, 2017 Leave a comment

I am certainly blessed to have friends that I have been close with for many years. Some date back to my childhood, as far back as elementary school.

One of these friends is a quiet, private person who takes on many things without sharing or even thinking of calling, just to blow off some steam or have a friendly ear to listen to his problems. He is solitary and sometimes a little self-absorbed: not in an egotistical or narcissistic way, but in that he will force himself to take on responsibilities and do too much for caring for family, and he does this at the expense of his time for friends.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because as Believers, we will often have people in our lives that ignore us because of what we believe, and will change conversations with us because they are uncomfortable with talking about God and salvation. Even if we are just blowing off steam, kvetching about the world from our viewpoint, and only want them to lend an ear. And when they do that, or when (like with my friend) they do not tell us things that are going on in their life, we feel sort of insulted. Not really insulted …how do I put it? I guess we feel unimportant in their life. Yes, that is how I feel when he doesn’t even call me to let me know that a close family member passed away. In this specific case, more than one.

So, although he says it isn’t anything personal, and I believe absolutely in his mind he never thought to purposefully leave me out of his life, I still felt left out. Did it bother me? Yes. Will it affect my friendship? No.

Why? Because a friend in need is a friend indeed, even when that friend doesn’t want to recognize that he (or she) is in need. My friend needs me to be there in case anything happens where he does need to reach out to someone. I need to be there for him whether he wants me to be or not because that is how I show my love for him. And whether or not he loves me as much as I love him (I am taking brotherly) doesn’t matter, and (frankly) shouldn’t matter. Loving and friendship is great when it is reciprocal, but it is godly when it is not reciprocal. I am not talking about unrequited love, but about the difference in a relationship where two people are friends but one seems to be the giver and one is the taker. I have friendships like that, and they aren’t completely one-sided, but it feels often like I am the one” chasing them down” to stay in touch.

I have asked one or two if they still want to be friends, and they have said they do, so I still do most of the work to stay in touch. And that is why these friendships are so dear to me- they help me to see God’s side of relationships. Many, in fact most, people reject God, His word, His commandments and even those that are “religious” have turned their back on God and Messiah simply because they go through the motions without the emotions. Yet God loves every one of them. He is the ultimate example of unrequited love, which we learn when we read the bible. God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son to die so we have a chance to live, and He did that not because we were sinless, but because we can’t stop sinning! Think of that…would you die for someone who acts as though he or she doesn’t care if you are alive or not?

The best way to show the love of God is to love like God- without requiring that the other person love you back, or pay for the next meal, or even return your calls. I am not talking about the ones that take advantage of you or the ones that do not want you to be part of their life and have said so. I am talking about those people you know, friends and family, who are still interested in having a relationship with you but make it really hard to get together. They are the ones who are always busy doing something (I often think they are so busy doing things so that they don’t have to face up to things), or rarely return calls or emails, or just “disappear” sometimes.

These are the ones who need us the most, even though they don’t know it. Because one day they will find themselves with nowhere to go, and no one else will still be putting up with the “I’ve got too much I am dealing with right now” excuse to be there for them anymore. That’s why we need to always be there, just as God is always there for them, too.

If you truly know the love and forgiveness of God, then you have to show it to others. That’s how it works.

prayer spam

November 30, 2016 Leave a comment

When the Talmudim (Disciples/students) of Yeshua asked Him how they should pray, well….we all know His answer. But do we think about the line that goes, “Give us this day our daily bread…”? Do we think about what He might have meant by that?

Not the P’shat, which means the written word as it is written, but the Drash– the underlying, spiritual meaning.

I believe what Yeshua was saying was that when we pray, we need to ask only for what we need, then and there. Not for success in life, not for riches or fame, not for next week’s presentation to the Board, but for now. Right now, and only right now, and only what I need right now. I also think that God wants our prayers to go to Him, to the Father, to be delivered in the name of the Son. Not to the Son, not to a “Saint” who is supposed to, what? Intercede with Yeshua (Jesus) to intercede with God? Didn’t Yeshua say the ONLY way to the Father is through the Son (John 14:6)?

What does that mean? It means that our prayers are to be sent to the Father in the name of the Son, and not to the Son for Him to bring to the Father. When we pray to anyone, or anything (even worse!) other than God, Himself- God the Father, God the Creator, God the one and only and God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob- then we are committing idolatry.

And when we pray to God, do we pray for what we need now, and only what we need now? I have heard people pray, and I believe their prayers are earnest, but they pray for the same thing over and over, they use “Father God” over, and over, and over- the way a “Valley Girl” uses the work “like”- until I have to think that God is saying to Himself, “All right, already- I know who I am! Just ask for what you want and leave all the ‘Father God this’ and ‘Father God that’ out of it! Oy!”

Don’t pray spam to God. He wants to hear from your heart. I have seen people pause during prayer and I can see them start to sweat trying to think of something else to say. If you have nothing more to say, than what you should say is: nothing more. Just stop. Just end the endless stream of useless words and catch-phrases that are supposed to make you sound like Solomon blessing the Temple. That was a long prayer, and it was a really good one. But long doesn’t mean better. How about Moses’ prayer (Numbers 12:13) when Miriam was struck by God with leprosy? Did he go on and on, or did he just say, “Oh Lord- please heal her!”

Moses found those 5 words to be as effective and meaningful as an entire thesis presented by a graduate student in Theology. God doesn’t just see the heart, He hears the heart.

We see someone who is homeless and downtrodden and (usually) think the worst, yet God sees Job during his trials of faith. We see someone who is mentally or physically challenged and thank God it isn’t us, and God sees a caring, faithful and compassionate person who is thankful that no one else they know has the same problems.

The words we use when we pray are not as important as the condition of our heart. When King David prayed for forgiveness in Psalm 51, he said that God will not despise a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It is the condition of our heart that generates prayer pleasing to the Lord; the fancy King James style words we use, the number of times we say “Oh Lord” or “Father God”, or the length of prayer is all totally meaningless. That is only pleasing to humans who know only what they see and hear. People only see the P’shat of the world, and not the Drash of humanity. I think people just pray “spam” when they use fancy words and long, poetic phrases meant to impress the people around them, and I just have to believe that God is thinking, “Your prayer is to Me, but I know the way you are praying is to impress those around you, so let them answer your prayer.”

Remember: when you pray, God already knows what you need. He knows what you want, He knows is best for you, and He will deliver it when He knows the time is right for you. What you say will not influence His decision but what you feel in your heart will.

When you pray remember the advice Yeshua gave His Talmudim in the Gospels- do not worry about what to say because the Ruach (Spirit) will give you what you need. Trust in the Spirit to guide your prayer and don’t pray from your mouth: pray from your heart.

Know when to hold ’em; know when to fold ’em

August 22, 2016 Leave a comment

I read Dear Amy this morning. As I have often mentioned, Dear Abby and Dear Amy provide wonderful fodder for this ministry because the people that write to them are so lost and confused about the relationships in their life, and almost never do I read a letter from a Believing person asking for advice. Maybe, just maybe, that’s because we have a better adviser to ask.

In any event, the letter this morning had to do with someone whose friend is emotionally unstable and despite being close for many years, the writer is concerned about her own health and how dealing with her friend is draining her. She wants to know how to break away without totally closing her friend out.

I feel the same way, often, about family and friends who are not Believers, who desperately need God in their lives, and whom I try to tell about God and about the wonderful peace I receive from knowing Him and having the Ruach Ha Kodesh (Holy Spirit) in my life (despite the sad truth that I often fail to show this peacefulness, I DO have it.)

I try to tell people of God, I bring him up in conversation, even with clients (which is not always appropriate so I am very careful in how I do that) and I throw out my line with a little bait to see what I can catch.

What I do is simply add to the conversation something from the Bible, but I won’t say “The lord tells us this or that”; instead, I will lead off with, “I read this in a really good book about relationships, and the book said…..”. If they ask me the name of the book, then they have taken the bait. After I tell them it’s the Bible, and it was said by (whomever), I will follow up with , “Have you ever read the bible?”

This is an example of how I bring God into the conversation, slowly, deliberately, and with an open-ended aim: all I want to do is plant a seed. That is what the aim of today’s message is about: we need to plant a seed, we need to know when we can “hold ’em” (keep going on with the conversation) and know when to “fold ’em” (let it go if they don’t want to discuss it.)

People don’t like having something jammed down their throats, especially something as exotic tasting as spiritual things. They don’t want to hear that they are wrong in what they say and do, and that most everyone they know (friends, family and acquaintances) have all steered them in the wrong direction. Remember the old adage: birds of a feather flock together. That means people who aren’t “saved” won’t be hanging around with Believers. So, when we start to tell them about God, about the Torah and Yeshua, and what it means to be saved, and what it takes to stay saved, they are hearing the kind of stuff they have been ignoring their whole life.

And they don’t really want to hear it.

It is up to us to be patient, to understand what they are going through. I think the fact that so many Believers have been raised that way, or accepted Messiah at a young age, could make them poor missionaries simply because they can’t relate to what the people are going through when they hear the Good News. I know what it is like to have people preach the Good News to me before I was saved by it- it was annoying. Because I spent so many years on the “outside”, I know when to hold and when to fold. And because I remember what it was like, I have the patience to allow them to accept what they will and reject what they need to.

And, yes- they NEED to reject what we tell them because if they don’t, they have to admit they have been lied to by everyone they have ever trusted and admired their whole life.

What we need to do is allow them the time they need to process that the people who have misled them have done so innocently, because they, too, were misled by those they trusted and admired. The incorrect teaching of the “Church” goes all the way back to Constantine in the Third Century CE. It’s been going on for quite a while.

When you talk to people about God, remember to say little and watch very, very carefully their response. You need to play your hand well, to watch what they discard and what they pick up, and (ultimately) when to call and when to fold.

Missionary work is not spiritual- it is sales. You have to ask what they feel they are missing, listen to what they think they want and make sure you only tell them what they need to hear, and it all starts with listening. Too often people go out there and just talk talk talk about God, without letting the other person tell them what they feel they need.

David says, in Psalm 38, that we should “taste and see that the Lord is good“; well, when you have something rammed down your throat you don’t get a chance to taste it. We need to let them savor the flavor of salvation, let them smell the steak sizzling on the grill, smell the bread fresh from the oven, let the aroma of peace and joy fill their nostrils to the point where they want more.

And when they ask, that’s the time we can, bite by bite, let them taste more of the Lord.

Most people will not make a leap of faith- they won’t go “all in” right away. They will make small bets, watch their cards and be very wary of the other players. We need to deal honestly with them (pun intended) and go at their pace, not ours.

Offer, wait, watch, listen, and most important of all, be patient- those are tools you need in your creel when you go fishing for people. Also, know when to cut the line and re-bait your hook.

It’s not how big the fish is, but how many you end up catching.