Tag: blessings

Spiritual Aspirin

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When someone hurts us by being cruel, or spiteful, or just by accident, it is hard to let it go. I know about this because I have been hurt, and seen my children used and abused (given medications they didn’t need and emotionally conditioned) as an attempt to “get back” at me. Now they don’t even want any part of me, except my money. Yeah- it’s OK to send them money but don’t have any other contact.

Sorry, kids- Luv ‘ya but it don’t work that way.

I am sure many of you have had similar experiences- shunned at work, exploited at home, maybe much worse. By strangers or friends, or even family.

It hurts and all we want to do is make it stop hurting. But how?

The cure is almost harder to accept than the hurt: we need to forgive. Forgiving the person who hurts us is, really, the only way to make the pain go away. You may always be a little “sore” but the pain will fade as you get better at forgiving.

“That jerk doesn’t deserve my forgiveness! Don’t hold your breath waiting for me to forgive them.”  Understood. Acknowledged, and I will even go as far as to say I know just how you feel. But it’s not your choice- God commands us to forgive. In Mattiyahu (Matthew) we are told that if we don’t forgive on Earth our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. And the Lord’s Prayer asks God to forgive us as we forgive others; in other words, measure out to us as we measure out to others. That means if we don’t, He won’t. Hmm….maybe I should revisit my attitude.

In Proverbs we are told that we should give our enemies food and drink, and it will be like pouring hot coals on their head. The idea (I think) is not to be vengeful but to wake them up- make them suffer the indignity of what they did to us by being compassionate to them. Perhaps they will do T’Shuva, and save themselves from Sheol.

In Ezekiel God says He gets no pleasure from seeing the sinner die; rather, he would prefer that the sinner turn from his sinful ways and live. Aren’t we supposed to be holy, as He is holy? We can get closer to God by forgiving.

To err is human; to forgive, Divine. DUH !!!

The other thing to remember is that Proverbs tells us not to return evil for evil, but wait upon the Lord. He will judge. If you think that someone doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you are actually taking the place of God. Not something He is very likely to appreciate, ya know?

I have found, for myself, that forgiveness is one of the hardest things I have to do as a Believer. I discovered something that makes it easier, and I would like to share that with you, hopefully to make it easier for you, too.

Pray for them. That’s right- pray earnestly for the people who hate you and have done you wrong; who have hurt you; who have hurt those you love. When I pray for them, I don’t ask God to forgive them because that decision is actually between them and God. That’s not my place to tell God what to do, but I can ask Him to help them come to Him. I pray they find salvation.

Another way I help myself into being able to pray for someone who has hurt me is to look into the future, and imagine what that person will be facing when they come to judgement. The hurt they caused is finite, and the quicker I pray for them and forgive them for what they did to me, the quicker I will stop hurting. Emotional pain is like a log in my eye: when I remove the log (through forgiveness) I can see the truth about what they will have to endure, for all Eternity. That certainly is nothing compared to what they did to me, which will be nothing more than a faded memory, if even that, when I come into His Glory in the Acharit HaYamim.

It sounds easy enough, but so does anything else until you try it. Truth is, I still get angry and feel the pain of certain things. Deep cuts take a long time to heal, and they always leave a scar. But with God’s help (yes, you most certainly can ask God to help you forgive), the guidance found in His Word, and the peace I receive from the Ruach, I am getting better and better at forgiving.

The more I forgive, the less it hurts. Forgiveness is spiritual aspirin that makes the pain go away.

Here’s another way to look at it: when you forgive something it is easier to forget about it. When you don’t forgive, you end up reliving it, and the pain just keeps coming back. It’s like tearing off the scab before it can heal. And here’s a hard truth that you must accept- if you keep reliving the pain, it is not their fault anymore! That’s right- they hurt you, that was a one-time deal. If the person, or people, hurt you over and over, it is still the same thing.  Each time you relive it, you are now the one hurting yourself. Now it’s your fault, not theirs. Rehearsing our anger is like throwing gasoline on a fire about to die.

If you want to stop hurting, you need to stop reliving the event and forgive the person. Start out by praying for their salvation, and move on. Let their ultimate forgiveness stay between them and God; you do what is right in God’s eyes regarding your own actions. He wants…no, He commands… you to forgive those who hurt you. Obey the Lord. It ain’t easy! Man-o-Manischevitz , it is hard to do!  But do it, we must.

Forgiveness is the only way to make the hurt go away. I know it’s a lousy turn of events. First this piece of work, this sorry excuse for a human being, this so-and-so does horrible things to me and now God tells me I have to forgive them. And if I don’t, I will never feel better. It sounds like a no-win situation.

It’s not; in fact, it’s a win-win because when you forgive you not only make the hurt go away, but you receive God’s blessings in your life. He will bless you for your obedience, and you will be so much better off that you will even start to think (maybe) that the sin against you was itself a blessing in disguise because of the spiritual maturity it helped you to achieve.

Okay, maybe that’s a little far-fetched. But not too much.

Look back in your life and see if there are still scabs that are haven’t healed, wounds festering in your heart and hurts that won’t go away. Pray for that person who sinned against you and see if you don’t feel better. Do it honestly, do it heart-fully, do it trustingly. I really believe that you will feel better, because it has worked for me.

Take spiritual aspirin and call on Him in the morning.

Parashah Ekev (Because)

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This parashah has so much, as does everything in the D’Var Adonai (Word of the Lord). For instance, it is only 4 1/2 chapters (or so) but within it Moshe orders the people to obey the Lord’s mitzvot and other commandments no less than 9 times. That seems to be important, telling them 9 times to remember to obey the Lord. But do they listen? Noooooooo.

The section I want to talk about today is 8:12-8:20. Moshe warns the people that when they have come into the land, and have all good things, that they are not to forget it is because God made it all possible. He is actually telling them their future. He is warning them that if they become prideful, thinking they have obtained all these wonderful things by their own power and worthiness, then they will forget God and stop following Him. Despite the fact that all these people know it was God who fed them in the desert, gave them water and protected them, even to the point of keeping their clothes from falling apart, yet still they will forget Him and abandon Him if they aren’t careful. And, if and when they do, God will destroy them and throw them out of the land, just as he is doing to the people living there now.

When will we learn? As we know, they did go into the land. They conquered it and took possession, and did (mostly) as God had ordered them to do. And that was because Joshua made sure they kept on track.

After he dies, as we read in Judges (Shof’tim), the people did forget God and throughout that book we are told how people did as they wanted. This is how we are, to this day. Maybe even more so.

Back then there weren’t people saying that everything we see around us, including ourselves, are the result of some mutation or haphazard arrangement of chemicals. Back then there wasn’t a government that said it is illegal to have the Ten Commandments displayed as we enter our courts of law and justice. Back then we would naturally expect that both good and bad things were a result of our worship, unlike today when everything bad that happens is because we are victims of someone else’s wrongdoing, and whatever happens that is good for us is something we deserve and should have.

When are we going to learn? When are we going to humble ourselves and accept that God is in charge? Sure, yeah- we can do things of our own. We can be proud of accomplishments we have. But we need to remember that the gifts and talents we have that allow us to accomplish things are from God. I didn’t give myself an intellect (you could make an argument God didn’t, either), you didn’t give yourself the talent for music, or an ability to draw beautifully, or whatever. God gave these to us, and more often than not, God made it possible for us to discover these gifts and to utilize them.

I think the saddest people are the ones who have gifts they haven’t discovered or had the chance to utilize. We need to remember that it is God who gives the talents and abilities, and it is God who provides. He does, that is, so long as we follow His commandments, mitzvot, regulations and rulings. When we turn from Him, we are cursed.

Not that God curses, so to speak. At least, not as a human curses. When humans curse, they wish bad things on someone. They actively desire and work to make horrible events happen in another person’s life.

Gods curses are passive. The world is a cursed place. God protects us from the cursed environment in which we live. Those are His blessings. He actively makes good things happen. When we disobey and forget (i.e., reject) Him, then the curses fall on us. Not that God makes bad things happen- He just stops protecting us from the world.

Think of Him as a Kippur (covering), like an umbrella. When we follow Him, we are under His protective covering. When we walk away from Him, we are uncovered and the rain of injustice, hatefulness, and everything else that humans do to each other falls directly on our head.

Stay under God’s kippur. Follow His steps and remain under His wings, and you will be blessed. Oh, yes, there will be times when you are doing everything correctly and you will have suffering. I didn’t say God puts us in a bubble- sometimes the winds of misfortune blow so hard the rain gets under the umbrella. That’s no reason to say the umbrella isn’t working anymore! Stay under it, keep walking in His ways, and your life will be more blessed than you can imagine.

Accept Messiah, accept God’s Grace, and follow His laws. That means all His laws- there are no Jewish laws and Christian laws. Whatever God said to do, whether in the front of the Bible or the back, are His laws. God has no religion.

Don’t forget who He is, and who you are ( I believe Isaiah said we were worms. Pretty close.) And above all, remember that whatever you have that is good is from God.

All the bad stuff in your life you can take full credit for.

Shabbat Shalom !!