Author: Steven R. Bruck
Enable or Enabling?
To “enable” means to make something possible, such as to give someone authority over others or the means to accomplish a goal.
However, “enabling” someone is not the same thing: to enable someone is to help them accomplish what they need to do, but when we are enabling someone, we are doing what needs to be done, ourselves, instead of helping them to do it.
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It is as the old adage goes: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
In Hebrew, the word tzedakah means “charity.” It is a mitzvah (good deed) to do tzedakah, and Shaul tells us all that God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:6), so what can be wrong with enabling someone if it is done cheerfully?
What is wrong with it is that you do not help someone by always doing for them what they need to learn to do for themselves.
I have been blessed with people in different third world countries asking me to help them by supplying them with Bible study materials and other needs. They have asked me to send them the books I have written and also to raise funds for education and transportation. I have done so twice, and I don’t mind sharing that it has been mostly at my personal expense. I have had to tell people that I will no longer spend my own money to help them, and have offered, instead, suggestions on how they could or might try to solve these problems on their own.
It bothers me that I have to do this because, honestly, I could find the means in my budget to send them money every month, even though it would cost me a lot of money in transfer fees. But I already do tzedakah to some charities that are doing God’s work and to secular charities, as well. And I know that whatever blessings God gives me that I share with others will be given back to me because God never runs out of blessings. But does that mean I have to give up everything God has given me?
Do you know the story about the Rabbi and the flood?
A small town was in the path of an oncoming flood and when the water was up to everyone’s ankles, the town’s Rabbi was running all over town warning people to leave. A man came by in a pickup truck and said, “Get in Rabbi!” but the Rabbi said, “Go save someone else- God will take care of me.”
The water continued to rise and now it was up to his waist. He was still wading through helping people when a man came by in a rowboat and said, “Rabbi, get in and I will take you to safety.” The Rabbi said, “Go save someone else- God will take care of me.” Now the water is up to his ears and he is swimming to make sure people are getting out when a helicopter comes overhead, and they shout through their megaphone, “Rabbi- we are dropping a line. Grab hold so we can pull you up.” But again the Rabbi said, “Go save someone else- God will take care of me.”
Eventually, the Rabbi drowns in the flood, and when he gets to heaven he asks God, “Why did you let me drown? I told everyone that you would take care of me?” God said to the Rabbi, “What are you talking about? I sent you a truck, I sent you a rowboat…I even sent you a helicopter!”
There comes a point when we have to make sure that we enjoy the blessings God has given us instead of hastily giving them away, even when what we are doing is a form of tzedakah. This is a truth that Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) came to realize.
I confess I do feel guilty that I won’t spend money when I know I could, but this is part of the “tough love” that we all need to practice when we see people who are in genuine need and who constantly ask for help. Once you give, you should expect to be asked to give, again, and you need to recognize when you have reached the point at which you are no longer helping someone to resolve their problems, but enabling them by solving their problems, for them.
Here in America (and this is my opinion) too many parents over the past two generations or so have stopped teaching their children how to be independent, and instead of exposing them to the tsouris in the world (I’m using a lot of Jewish terminologies today!) have tried to raise them in a bubble of protection to “empower” them and not “traumatize” their young, innocent minds. This has proven itself to be a bad thing because so many of the “Millennials” are totally clueless about the world, and have such “thin skin” that they are traumatized by the slightest, little problem. They haven’t been taught how to live independent lives or to deal with the problems in the world: they have been so enabled they can’t even blow their own nose!
And they also have no ability to discern… anything.
This is what enabling does to a person, and even when someone’s motives are good, the results speak for themselves: when you are enabling someone you are not helping them, you are actually hurting them.
So, what is my point? It is this: you should do tzedakah, but you need to use discernment and recognize when your good deed is no longer doing that person any good. When you feel you have reached that point, you need to be compassionately stern and simply say, “I am sorry, but I won’t do this for you anymore. I will pray for you, I will offer suggestions and emotional support, but the money stays with me.”
Tough love is tough on both the ones giving it and the ones receiving it, but it is the only way to help someone else learn to take care of themself.
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Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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How Many New Years Do We Need?
Did you know that there are some 5 new year celebrations in Judaism?
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If we consider that any celebration occurring on an annual cycle represents the start of another year, then each time we start a new cycle we are, in fact, celebrating a “new year.” Therefore, when we count Jewish annual cycles, we have the two best-known harvest festivals (Shavuot and Sukkot), also the month of Aviv (now called Nissan) as the beginning of our biblical year (per God’s instructions to Moses in Exodus 12:1), Yom Kippur is another annual cycle starting a year with being cleansed of our sins, and finally, Rosh HaShanah which is not a biblical new year, but is the rabbinical rebranding, if you will, of Yom Teruah.
In the secular world, the 1st day of January is the recognized, “official” New Year’s Day.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….uh, no… not that one.
Once upon a time, a long time ago someone somehow decided that the first day of January on the Gregorian calendar would be the start of every year. I know there are people out there who will tell me exactly who did this and when, and that it is a pagan holiday and so a real Believer shouldn’t pay it any attention. And for everyone who says it is pagan, there will be someone who says it isn’t. I am not interested in the history of the New Year, really, or whether or not it should be celebrated.
So, nu? If I don’t care about it, why am I even mentioning it?
Good question. I am mentioning it to point out that there are multiple new year events, and what we need is not a new year, but a new beginning. A day when we start our lives over and change that which we were yesterday into that which we want to become tomorrow.
And what day should this be? It should be…today.
Every day is a New Year’s Day, a day to become not just more of who we want to be, but more of who God wants us to be!
I don’t want to sound like that old, wimpy adage, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” because that is associated with our personal (meaning secular) growth. Now, there is nothing wrong with personal growth, but what we need to do as Believers is to grow spiritually, and that shouldn’t be relegated to an annual thing. It must be daily, hourly, and continually throughout the rest of our life.
Celebrating an event like New Year’s Day is fine in a secular world, but for those who are spiritual, we can’t be restricted to a single day when we start over. We are told in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that when we accept Yeshua as our Messiah, we are a new creation, and we are, but that isn’t the end of it: no, that is just the beginning. Now that we are new, we have to grow into our new selves, and that is a never-ending process which means every day is a new year for us.
Let’s up the stakes on this discussion…God is eternal, and the holiday we know as New Year’s Day is not eternal- it is restricted by time as once every 365 days. But spiritual growth is not subject to a timeline because things of the spirit are eternal; each day is a new eternity. Why? Because we never know when we will be called to God, so whatever we are today is what we might be, forever.
That’s a bit of a scary thought, isn’t it? The Bible tells us that no one knows when they will die and as such, whoever we are now, right this minute, might be all we will ever be for all eternity!
So, celebrate the new year in January, but don’t let that be your only starting point for change. Celebrate every new day God gives you as your own, “New Eternity Day” and let your resolution be this: to be a better example of what God wants you to be today than you were yesterday.
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Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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Parashah Miketz 2019 (At the end) Genesis 41 – 44:17
Joseph is still in jail after the Cupbearer was restored to his position, yet forgot to mention Joseph to the Pharaoh, as he had promised to do.
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Two years pass and Pharaoh has a dream, the dream of the 7 healthy and 7 sickly cows, followed by the second dream of the 7 healthy and 7 sickly ears of corn. No one in his kingdom, none of the Soothsayers or magicians, can interpret these dreams. Now, the Cupbearer remembers Joseph and tells Pharaoh, who summons Joseph.
Joseph interprets the dreams and tells Pharaoh to appoint a wise man to store grain during the years of plenty. Of course, who else could do this but Joseph (maybe that’s why he suggested it to Pharaoh?), so Pharaoh appoints Joseph as second in charge of all Egypt. No one except Pharaoh is above Joseph throughout the land. He also renames Joseph with an Egyptian name (my Chumash suggests that being given a new name, which was standard in those days to do when someone was promoted in status, may have helped hide his identity from his brothers.)
Joseph is given a wife who bears him two sons, the first one named Manasseh, which means “making to forget”, for Joseph says (Genesis 41:51) “…for God has made me forget all my toil, and all my father’s house.” In other words, the blessings that God provided to Joseph overtook the tsouris, injustice, and pain he suffered for years.
After the years of plenty the famine starts, and Jacob sends all his sons to Egypt, except Benjamin, to buy grain. Joseph immediately recognizes them, but they have no idea who this Egyptian in charge of the food supply is. Joseph accuses them of being spies and puts them all in jail. After three days he tells them he will keep one as a hostage, and if they bring the missing brother back to him he will believe they aren’t spies. Otherwise, they will never be allowed in the land, again. He takes Simeon as a hostage until they return with their youngest brother to prove they aren’t spies. In the meantime, he returns their money in their sacks and when they are almost home they realize this. They are frightened when they see this, thinking Joseph will assume they stole their money back. They return Simeon-less to their father and say they must bring Benjamin with them to get Simeon released and to buy more grain. Jacob refuses to let Benjamin go, and only after Judah promises to take full responsibility for Benjamin’s safety and tells Jacob that if they don’t take him they will all starve to death. Jacob relents and allows Benjamin to go back to Egypt with the brothers. This is where today’s parashah ends.
We all go through painful times in our lives, we all suffer some form of injustice, and we all receive blessings from God. Too often we concentrate on the painful things and ignore the blessings, causing us to not be as thankful to God as we should be.
Joseph suffered the worst kinds of emotional pain: his brothers hated him and tried to kill him, he was sold into slavery, he was wrongly accused of a heinous crime, his boss unjustly threw him in jail, and the man Joseph helped while in jail forgot his promise to return the favor. Yet throughout all this, Joseph remained faithful and eventually, he was lifted up from being a slave in jail to being the second most powerful man in all of Egypt.
Now his brothers come before him and they need his help to survive. What does Joseph do? He throws them in jail! But this is important to know: he doesn’t throw them in jail as punishment or revenge, and he does so at his own personal, emotional pain. We know it causes him pain because we are told that Joseph cries when he does this. And we know he doesn’t do it as revenge because, as we were told earlier, with the birth of Manasseh Joseph has forgotten (or we could also say forgiven) his brother’s cruelty to him. The reason he threw them in jail, we later learn, is to test their loyalty to Jacob and to see if they have changed their attitude of jealousy to one of brotherly love.
We all suffer pain in our lives, both emotional and physical, and that pain never leaves until we forgive the ones that caused it. That sounds nearly impossible to do, but the only way to be rid of the pain is through forgiveness. Joseph was able to rid himself of his pain through forgiveness, and the motivation for his forgiveness was the blessings God gave to him. He was given authority and power, he was given a wife, two sons, and a boss that held him in the highest esteem. These blessings came as a result of his faithfulness and patience (two of the fruits of the spirit Shaul tells us about in Galatians), and what is most important for us to remember is that he recognized these blessings and was thankful for them, despite all the pain and suffering he underwent.
People have a tendency to dwell on the bad things and ignore the good, but what we, as faithful and trusting Believers, need to do is the opposite: we need to look to the future, to trust in God that these tough times will be replaced by times of plenty and rest, and stay the course, so to speak, until we receive those blessings. This is what Joseph did, and we can see how well it worked out for him.
Forgive those who have wronged and pained you. It isn’t easy, I know, but we MUST forgive. It is what God wants from us more than most anything else, and if you don’t think I am correct in saying that, read Matthew 6:14-15.
Let me share with you the two ways in which I have learned to make forgiving someone possible: First, I remind myself that the one who hurt me must be in terrible pain because people aren’t mean and thoughtless by nature. The mean people in the world have to have suffered much pain themselves, and whatever they did to me is probably less painful than what they have gone through. When I consider the pain they must be in, I can actually feel for them, and as such I know they need the love of God more than most, and that is why I can pray for them and mean it.
The second way I help myself to forgive someone is to think of all the blessings that God has given me, and how I have him to turn to whereas the one who wronged me probably has no one to turn to but him (or her) self. I have God on my side, and they have no one but themselves, so who really is worse off? Who really needs to be prayed for?
One other motivation for me to try to forgive someone is, as I mentioned above, Matthew 6:14-15. If you aren’t sure what that says, I sincerely recommend you read it, now.
Joseph is a wonderful example to us of how remaining patient, faithful and trusting in God to know what to do and when to do it will result in blessings that far outweigh the suffering we go through while waiting for him to act.
Thank you for being here and please subscribe, share me out to everyone you know, and if you like what you hear then you will like my books, which you can order directly from my website.
Until next time, Shabbat shalom and Baruch HaShem!
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Whose Idea Is It, Really?
Christmas, that terrible pagan celebration of the birth of the Messiah, is over. I posted the other day about Christmas, not so much saying it was fine but saying it wasn’t pagan.
I represented, not surprisingly, the minority opinion.
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The funny thing is that I don’t, and never have, celebrated Christmas because, well…I’m Jewish. My intent actually had nothing do to with Christmas, but was using Christmas as a way to show people they need to learn how to question everything they are told about what the Bible says.
What I want to talk about today stems from the many arguments I saw from people about Christmas and man-made traditions, in general.
My experience reading posts from and talking to Gentiles who are returning to the laws God gave in the Torah, is that they universally reject any and all man-made traditions because of what Yeshua said and that anything not specifically required by God in the Bible is wrong.
Let’s see what Yeshua really said; it is in Mark 7: 6-10…
Yeshua answered them, “Yesha‘yahu was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites — as it is written, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far away from me. Their worship of me is useless, because they teach man-made rules as if they were doctrines.’ “You depart from God’s command and hold onto human tradition. Indeed,” he said to them, “you have made a fine art of departing from God’s command in order to keep your tradition!
This is the response Yeshua gave to the Pharisees who were chastising him for teaching his Talmudim (students) that they didn’t have to practice N’tilat Yadayim (ceremonial handwashing) before eating. The point Yeshua was making is traditions that replace or supersede God’s commandments are the ones that are wrong. Yeshua never condemned all man-made traditions, but only those that, as he said here, cause people to depart from God’s commandments.
The example he gave them was that someone would not give money to help their parents because it had been pledged to the Temple (called a Korban), thereby violating God’s commandment to honor thy mother and father. A Korban is not a biblical commandment, but it was a tradition.
In fact, regarding Yeshua and man-made holidays, most everyone agrees that Hanukkah, a man-made tradition is fine because Yeshua celebrated it.
But whose idea is it, really, that Christmas is pagan? Or that all man-made traditions are wrong? Or that the Christmas tee is a pagan symbol?
The arguments I have seen against the Christmas tree were based solely on Jeremiah 10. But did you know that Jeremiah wasn’t the only one who talked about this? Isaiah also mentioned the uselessness of wooden idols in Isaiah 40:19- 20 and 44:14-17. Both Isaiah and Jeremiah declared the futility and absurdity of making and worshiping idols. But did they mean a tree in the house?
Has anyone ever seen or read about trees in the home of the ancient peoples? Has there ever been an archaeological dig that discovered any evidence that the ancient pagans had trees in their homes? Not that I have ever heard of. However, we do have both archaeological and biblical proof of wooden idols in the home. Even as far back as Jacob and Rachel, we know that Rachel stole the family gods from her father, Laban.
There is no proof, anywhere in the Bible or in archaeology, that trees were taken into the home and decorated as we do today with a Christmas tree. The rampant misuse of Jeremiah 10 to destroy the tradition of the Christmas tree tells me that someone believed this and spread this teaching in order to get others to change what they do.
The same goes for the teaching/belief that Christmas is a pagan holiday, despite the way it is actually celebrated or who it is supposed to be about.
When I see posts using Yeshua’s response to the Pharisees to justify a universal rejection of anything man-made that is, to me, misusing the Bible as a form of control.
Let me ask you something…where did you first learn of Christmas being pagan? Did you receive a vision? Did you perform original research on your own? Did you learn about Saturnalia by studying the winter solstice ceremonies practiced by the pagans, then learn about the creation of Christmas by Constantine and add two and two?
I doubt it. I am willing to bet that most everyone who has posted or commented that Christmas is pagan and the tree is a pagan symbol that Jeremiah talked about learned this by hearing it from others. They heard a pastor or minister make this statement, or from someone else who they trust and respect, and when verifying it for themselves never realized that they had already accepted the interpretations and teachings as true. Therefore, when they saw the references in the Bible which (supposedly) confirmed what they learned, they didn’t really examine them hermeneutically or with an open mind- they had already accepted what they heard as true.
They believed that what they had always enjoyed celebrating is sinful and pagan because someone else told them that is what it is.
I believe that when a Gentile discovers the truth about the lies and anti-Torah teachings they have been fed all their life, their “belief pendulum” swings from believing traditional Christianity to universally rejecting everything that is traditional Christianity.
I am not defending Christmas: I don’t give two hoots about Christmas or whether or not you celebrate it. What I am trying to do is warn you that when someone automatically accepts or rejects an interpretation or teaching, they are allowing themselves to be controlled by someone else.
The “tagline” of my ministry is “God has no religion”, and I have constantly stated that people created religion so that they could have control over other people. After all, if someone can make you reject what you have always practiced, isn’t that the ultimate form of control? To take something that you have enjoyed all your life, and make you believe it is evil so that now you reject everything about it, and then add to that they make you believe this is what God wants…isn’t that control?
Look, I am not saying what you should believe or not believe, and if you want to believe Christmas, Easter (we may as well add that to the stew) and any other man-made tradition is a sin, then believe it. All I am saying is that if you haven’t REALLY examined the reasons you believe this, and come to a conclusion that you know is your own, then you have been controlled.
God will control events in our lives to give us the opportunity to make the right choices, but he doesn’t control us. Throughout the Bible, God tells us what we should do but he never says anything or does anything to control our actions. Satan, on the other hand, will use lies and mislead us in a way that gives him control over us. Right from the beginning: God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit, but he left the tree unprotected. Satan’s lies to Eve allowed him to make her do what she wouldn’t have done on her own; Satan’s lies gave him control over Eve.
Too many people accept what they hear because it sounds good, then they convince themselves it is the indwelling Holy Spirit that confirms their belief. I am sure there are many times when this is true, and their spiritual confirmation is valid. My warning is that you better be sure what you believe is your idea because we will all be held accountable for what we do and say. The excuse that someone else told me it was true will not hold water. The only way to be sure is to force yourself to argue for both sides on an interpretation. When you hear something and believe it to be true, pretend that it is wrong and try to prove it wrong; if you can’t prove it wrong then you have valid confirmation that your belief is truly your own.
And the same goes for when you don’t believe something you hear.
One last warning: if you don’t want to go through that effort, then believe what you want to but realize that you have just allowed yourself to be controlled, and whatever you now believe isn’t really your idea. So ask yourself: do you want to be accountable for what someone else believes?
Thank you for being here, and please subscribe and share this message with others. And I do welcome and appreciate your comments.
Until next time (hopefully, there will be a next time you tune it to me), L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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To Xmas or Not to Xmas: What is the Answer?
Now that all the annoying open registration for Medicare commercials are gone we have a new hot topic, which rolls around every December: the argument about Christmas, specifically addressing this question: “Is celebrating Christmas a sin or not?”
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Let me say, first and foremost, I will not present an answer, mainly ’cause I ain’t got one. I know what is right for me, and what is right for others, whether they agree with me or not. There are valid arguments from both sides of this debate, all of which are verifiable in the Bible.
Let’s start with some things we can all agree on (at least, I hope we can):
- We should never worship any God but the true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob;
- God knows our hearts and minds, and is a compassionate, understanding God who loves his children;
- A Holy Day is a celebration (or festival) we are commanded to observe and can be found in Leviticus Chapter 23, whereas a holiday is a man-made celebration not specifically required by God;
- Yeshua (Jesus) was not really born on December 25, but most likely sometime around Sukkot;
- Constantine created Christmas, which occurs around the same time as the pagan celebration called Saturnalia;
- Christmas, which was originally created to celebrate the arrival of the Messiah, has been corrupted and mutated into a marketing machine.
If we are all on the same page so far (which would be really good!), let’s keep going.
First off, Yeshua did not condemn all man-made traditions, only those that superseded the instructions God gave us. As far as holidays go, just because they aren’t required by God does not mean they are forbidden by God. This misuse of the Law of Contraposition is one of the main arguments put forth by those that say if it isn’t in the Bible, it is a sin. If so, then you also have to do away with Purim, Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah, the Fast of the 9th Day of Av, Yom HaShoah, as well as the non-religious holidays of New Year’s, Fourth of July, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day….need I go on?
God said we must observe specific festivals, he also said, more than once and through different prophets that sometimes our celebration of his commanded festivals and sacrifices was an abomination to him. He said that in some cases the sacrifice wasn’t a pleasant aroma but a stench in his nostrils (look it up if you don’t believe me), and that he finds no pleasure in the blood of sheep or bulls.
Now, if God commanded us to perform these rituals, and we did, why is he saying he won’t accept them? Actually, more than that, he said not only won’t he accept them but that he hates what we are doing!
The answer is because our hearts were not in it. We were just going through the motions and not because we loved him and wanted to honor him.
In other words, God is not interested in our performance as much as he is interested in our intentions. Can we agree on that?
The Bible is clear that God doesn’t want performance, but heartfelt worship and honor; what we do in celebration of God is supposed to be done with a genuine desire to honor God. That is what he tells us he wants.
Remember how Yeshua told of the Pharisee and the tax collector both praying in the Synagogue? (Luke 18:9-14) This is a perfect example of what I am talking about, which is that God sees the heart and knows the mind, and when we come to him in supplication, with a contrite spirit and humility, he hears us and appreciates what we are doing. In this drash, Yeshua pointed out that the prayer of the “righteous” Pharisee, who was doing things as they should be done but had an improper attitude, was less acceptable then the prayer of the tax collector, who was a sinner but came before God humbly and spoke from his heart.
My wife was raised Roman Catholic, and Christmas to her represents family time together; the traditions of the tree, decorations around the house, and the gathering of family and friends are all that matters to her. Why Christmas was invented, what this time of the year used to mean, and any other reasons that Christmas is supposedly a sin, have nothing to do with her celebration. Our celebration isn’t even about the birth of Yeshua but is a non-religious activity. And I think it is that way for many Gentiles.
I also believe that God knows why she is celebrating Christmas and doesn’t have a problem with that. It is no different than Thanksgiving or New Year’s or a birthday (oh, yeah- I forgot that celebrating our birthday is also a sin to some people.)
When Constantine created Christmas, he did not just rebrand Saturnalia but used it to replace Saturnalia, a pagan holiday. Allow me to point out there is a BIG difference between rebranding and replacing. When we rebrand something, it is the same thing with a different name. When we replace something, it is a different thing, altogether.
Here is an example: In January of 2018, Coca-Cola rebranded Diet Coke to be more appealing to the Millennial demographic. According to the website, Marketwatch: “The beverage giant said Diet Coke isn’t being reformulated, but is “re-energizing” for a different consumer demographic.” This is what rebranding means- the same thing with a different name.
Now, to stay with Coca-Cola, when they came out with New Coke, that wasn’t a rebranding but a replacement of “old” Coke. And, as you may recall, it was such a dismal failure that they had to bring the original Coke back into the market. Those were two totally different things.
Christmas, whatever you may think of it, is NOT Saturnalia and it is not associated with Pagan worship. As for the Christmas tree, it is not a pagan symbol: in fact, within Judaism, the tree is very important. There is the Tree of Life (Aitz Chaim Hee), which has been an integral part of our prayers, and the Bible uses the tree symbolically to represent the grafting in of Gentiles. If anything, the tree is the one thing about Christmas that is totally biblical!
I hope we can all agree that when we do something, whatever it is, to honor God and/or honor the Messiah (not worship Messiah, but honor him), and what we do is NOT in direct violation of a given commandment, God will consider our reasons and our desires, and look to our heart to see if we are genuinely desiring to please him.
If we can agree to that, then the celebration of Christmas could be acceptable to God, if he looks at it on an individual, case-by-case basis. That means the question of celebrating Christmas being right or wrong is between God and the person celebrating.
And, being God, even with the millions who celebrate this holiday, he can know each and every person’s heart and reason for celebrating.
Thank you for being here. I welcome comments and hope you will subscribe and share this ministry with others.
Until the next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!