Author: Steven R. Bruck
How To Argue Like A Believer
I am a member of a number of different discussion groups, most of which are religious, meaning they profess to be composed of Christian, Hebraic Roots, or Messianic people.
Too often you wouldn’t know that by how they talk to each other.
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The topic of God, sin, or how to live our lives is a hot potato, no doubt of that, and engenders some really passionate discussion. Passionate is OK, really, so long as it is compassionately controlled. That means you can destroy someone’s argument but when you start to destroy the person making the argument, you have lost.
There are a few verses in Proverbs about arguing with a fool, but not everyone who argues is a fool. In fact, most are intelligent people who, sometimes, just believe in the most ridiculous things. And when we try to convince them of the truth (as we see it), we often feel like we are running headfirst into a brick wall.
And the fact of the matter is…we are.
That is the point at which I often see the discussion devolve into an exchange of personal insults.
Here’s what Socrates said about this condition:
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.
As Believers, we should represent God well. And what I mean by “Believer” is anyone who professes to worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; you may (or may not) accept Yeshua as your Messiah, which isn’t necessary to believe in God. Anyone who believes in God should act in accordance with the way he says we should. Of course, being human that won’t happen all the time, but that’s no excuse why we can’t make it happen all the time we are in a discussion with others.
I was once told by a boss, whom I respected as my boss and (I am happy to say) still respect as my friend (that’s you, James M.), that what I say is usually the right thing, but I say it the wrong way. Ultimately, the right thing is lost because of the wrong way I say it.
A proper argument or discussion is when we exchange ideas without anger, and we should never tell the other person what they must believe. If we want to have any chance of convincing them of our position, we must first demonstrate that we respect their right to believe what they choose to believe. If we don’t start off that way, we will never get them to listen to our side. That’s a given. So, before we begin to argue for our side, ask them why they believe in their side. Asking them questions why they believe will give us the ammunition we need to shoot down their “facts”, and we may even learn something new. Just because we believe differently doesn’t mean we are always right.
Sometimes they may be the ones who are correct! If you aren’t willing to listen to their arguments, attentively, then you have already lost, even if you are correct.
There can often be more than one “truth” to a topic, and listening is the best way to realize that.
Never tell anyone they are not spiritual enough (even if they aren’t), or that they don’t know what they are talking about (even when they really don’t) because that is a personal attack, and all you will hear is “Shields up, Scotty!!” And when that happens, you have lost. And not just lost the argument but lost the chance to possibly save someone’s soul from eternal damnation.
We need to first ask why they believe, and then tell them why we believe otherwise, giving biblical references or established facts. If you don’t know, absolutely, where your facts come from, then be prepared to say “I have heard” or “I was told”, in order to let the other person know you aren’t really sure, but chose to believe.
The best start to winning an argument is not to try to get the other person to believe as you do, but to get the other person to doubt what they believe. That is the first step; once they doubt their facts, then you can provide your reasons why you believe and let them make their own choice.
And if you find yourself getting frustrated with their refusal to accept your ideas, then stop. Recognize that the moment you are frustrated, you are no longer working to spread God’s truth, but to satisfy your own prideful need to be recognized and accepted. At that point, sin is crouching at your door and you must master it before you start to insult the other person.
We mustn’t allow ourselves to represent God poorly, as not only will this weaken our position, but it could also turn the other person, who may not be a Believer, away from God. The very last thing we ever want to hear is someone say to us “And you call yourself a Christian!”
Everyone is given free will to choose what they will believe and since that is a gift from God, who are we to take it away from them? They will be held accountable for what they believe, and when someone believes something that will hurt them, eternally, we should try to convince them of God’s truth, and if they refuse to listen, pray for them.
But never, ever insult them or their beliefs: that won’t change their minds, and in my opinion, is an insult to God.
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Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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When Is It Enough, and When Is It Too Much?
Are you as fed up with the facemask protocol as I am? I am not at all against trying to stop the spread of a contagious disease, even one that is as relatively safe for some 98% of the population as COVID has proven to be, but I am against the hypocrisy of wearing a face mask to help protect others when the mask being worn is useless in doing so.
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The spiritual arguments against wearing the mask are also proliferating, and I agree that we are being conditioned, or controlled (in a way) by being forced to wear the mask. But at which point is it doing as the authorities command, which is what the Bible says we should do (Hebrews 13:17), and at which point is it like taking the mark of the Beast? Where do we draw the line?
My answer? I don’t have one. I think that it is going to depend on each case, each time we are asked to do something that, in our spirit, tells us it might not be right. But what we have to be careful about is to ask ourselves, “Is it my spirit, or my pride?”
If there is one thing that just about everyone in the world has copied from the Israelites when they were in the desert, it is being a stiff-necked and rebellious people (Exodus 32:9), so when it comes to doing what we are told to do by competent authority (OK, that may be an oxymoron) we tend to tell that authority what they can do with it.
I wear a mask when I go shopping because the grocery store requires it. I need to buy things, and if I don’t wear the mask I can’t go in the store. Is that a fulfillment of the verse in Revelation 13:17 about those who don’t take the mark won’t be able to buy anything? No, it isn’t, simply because I can always get what I want from Publix by going online and they will deliver it to me. So, no- I can still buy things, therefore wearing a mask is not taking the mark.
However, that doesn’t mean things won’t escalate. The next step may be refusing to allow me to buy using cash, which still isn’t quite at that point in prophecy, but when we add wearing a mask and not using cash, we are getting closer.
And the more they try to tell me how to live, the more I want to tell them where to go.
The lesson for us today is not to allow pride to get in the way of cooperation, and not to allow ourselves to cooperate to the point where we are now working for the wrong guy. The important question is: “When is it enough, and when is it too much?”
I wish I could give you an easy to follow answer, but there isn’t one, so read the Bible, pray, ask God to guide you through his Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), and stay alert.
I have a really good mask I just bought which is made in Israel, guaranteed to stop Coronavirus for a year, and it’s reusable. And let me add one more thing: it had better work because it was expensive!
I believe we ARE in prophetic times, and although I am wearing the mask when I have to, I am trying to be as wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove, even though I look like some 1880’s stagecoach outlaw.
Thank you for being here and please subscribe, and check out the Picture Album tab on my website, where I share my personal life with you. I just added a video of the vacation I took last week with my best friend at his timeshare in Cabo San Lucas.
Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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Parashah Shoftim 2020 (Judges) Deuteronomy 16:18 – 21:9
This parashah contains the instructions and guidelines God gave to Moses, to teach the Israelites so that they can teach the rest of the world, regarding how to choose the ones who will judge the people. God goes on to lay down what is, in essence, a set of rules that create a constitution. He not only instructs us how to create and run the courts, but also that when a king is desired (which, in the long run, is NOT what God wants for the people) that it shall be who God chooses the one to be king.
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There are instructions regarding prophets and soothsayers, specifically how to recognize a legitimate prophet and that soothsayers are to be killed.
The Cohanim are to be given their wages from the people, and God reiterates his rulings about the city of refuge and lays out other civil laws regarding property rights and witnessing.
Finally, God gives rules for the waging of war, from banning and destroying the sinful peoples of the land to not destroying fruit trees to make siege weapons.
So much good stuff, so little space to comment.
I usually open my mind when reading the parashah before I start to write, and pray for God to put something in that empty space that will glorify him and edify you. Today I was struck with the idea of judging: not the judges that this parashah talks about, but the judging that we do with each other, every day.
When it comes to judging others, we have both instructions for how we should do it, and admonitions against doing it.
How many times have you heard someone tell someone else that they should not judge others, for they will be judged? The Bible says “Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged.” (Matthew 7:1), which many people misuse to defend themselves against someone else rebuking them. In other words, they are defending their actions not by reasoning why they take them, but simply by deflecting the accusation by turning the focus back on to the person who is making the judgment.
I say that they misuse this verse because the rest of the verse goes as follows: “For the way you judge others is how you will be judged — the measure with which you measure out will be used to measure to you.”
Judging is what we must do; we are told that one day, as God’s people we will judge the world (First Corinthians 6:2), and anyone who has ever had to write an evaluation on someone will tell you that to do it correctly is very hard and takes practice. We must learn how to judge each other now when we can make mistakes that won’t have eternal consequences, mistakes that can be corrected. It is imperative that we take advantage of this time to learn how to judge others as best as we can.
And let’s not forget that we will be judged as we judge others, so to be the best judge of people we can be is not just to render justice that will be pleasing to God, but it is in our own best interest to judge as fairly, honestly, and as compassionately as we can.
If someone is accusing you of being a certain way, or of not being correct in your opinions, before you respond think about what they are saying. A good judge can discern emotional anger from legal truth, and recognize whatever value there may be in someone’s ranting. If you judge what someone is saying to you as being without merit, then you can defend yourself; but don’t do it by accusing them of being judgmental. Do it by addressing their accusation. If you believe you are being unfairly judged, then attack what the person says and not the person. And when you judge someone for what they have said, again, deal with the statement and not the one making it.
In other words, judge what is said and not who is saying it.
For example, someone says that what you have taught is wrong and you clearly have no spiritual understanding of the Bible. They accuse you of saying things that are evil and tell you that you work for the Devil!
OK, so the first reaction is to give them a knuckle sandwich. Good idea, but not really going to solve anything, so let’s judge what they are saying. If you are certain that what you taught is biblically sound, then instead of attacking them, attack their accusation by quietly asking, “What part of my teaching are you talking about?” Allow them to cross-examine your teaching, so to speak, and as they tell you what they believe is wrong, you can then respond with the biblical verse(s) to justify your statements. And as far as their personal attack, once you show how their first accusation is wrong, the rest of what they said will fall by the wayside, and people will recognize it as nothing more than ranting.
Judging is not just of others, but of ourselves, as well. We must hold ourselves up to the standards a judge is held to, which we are shown in this parashah. And one last bit of advice to end this Shabbat Message: First learn to judge what should be ignored and what necessitates a reply, and deal with each as it deserves. As we are told in Proverbs 26:4, answer a fool as he (or she) deserves, which in many cases means to just ignore the idiot. That is often the best judgment you can make.
Thank you for being here. Please remember to subscribe, share these messages, check out my books on my website, and I always welcome your comments.
I am taking a vacation next week and will be back in September. Until then, L’hitraot and Shabbat Shalom!
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Yeshua Certainly Knew the Book of Proverbs
It is truly a shame that too many Christians are being taught mainly from the New Covenant writings while ignoring most everything in the Tanakh. The reason it is a shame is that Yeshua didn’t teach anything from the Epistles, and not just because they hadn’t been written, but because he tells us, over and over throughout all four gospels, that he does and says only what his Father in heaven has told him to do and say. And what God has said is only in the Tanakh.
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I have been reading Proverbs lately, and as I go through them I see so many that I immediately relate to some of the teachings that Yeshua gave. Here are just a few examples:
Proverbs 11:2- First comes pride, then disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
Doesn’t Yeshua tell us that the meek will inherit the earth? (Matthew 5:5)
Proverbs 11:4– On the day of wrath, wealth doesn’t help; but righteousness rescues from death.
Doesn’t Yeshua tell us that we are to seek first the kingdom of God? (Matthew 6:33)
Proverbs 24:3– By wisdom a house is built, by understanding it is made secure.
Didn’t Yeshua tell us that rejecting his wisdom is like a house built on sand? (Matthew 7:26)
Proverbs 25: 6,7– Don’t put yourself forward in the king’s presence; don’t take a place among the great. For it is better to be told “Come up here,” than be degraded in the presence of a nobleman.
Didn’t Yeshua say that when you sit at a table, take the least important place? (Luke 14:10)
Proverbs 25:21– If someone who hates you is hungry, give him food to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
Didn’t Yeshua tell us to love our enemies? (Matthew 5:44)
It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that what Yeshua taught is from the Tanakh, for that was the only word of God that existed then. The New Covenant hadn’t been written. So if Yeshua taught from the Tanakh, my question is why don’t the Christian churches teach from it, also? Why do they use, almost exclusively, the Gospels and the Epistles? In the Gospels, Yeshua teaches what the Tanakh says, and the Epistles were written by a man to the Gentiles in congregations he started and were not written to teach them anything new, but to remind them of what he already told them. Things that he already taught them that they were having trouble remembering and living by.
You’ve seen those bracelets that have “WWJD” written on them, right? I believe the people who wear them really want to do as Jesus did; the problem is that the Christian church teaches Constantinian doctrine and not what is in the Torah, which is what Jesus followed, so to do what Jesus did means to NOT do what (most of) Christianity teaches.
Jesus did not celebrate the Christian holidays, he celebrated the Holy Days that God commanded we celebrate in Leviticus 23.
Jesus did not eat many of the foods that Christians eat, he ate only what God said we should eat in Leviticus 11.
Jesus did not rest on Sunday, he rested from Friday night to Saturday night.
The point of today’s message is that if you really want to live “as Jesus lived”, you need to worship as he worshiped, eat as he ate, and celebrate as he celebrated.
Doesn’t that make sense?
It is truly a shame that this very sensible argument is lost on so many people; people who probably really want to please God and do as Jesus did, but refuse to because they would rather accept the easy way of life that is Constantinian Christianity.
What a terribly disappointing surprise they will have when they come before the Throne of Judgment.
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Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
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A Personal Strife You May Have Gone Through, Too
Many of us who have accepted Yeshua as our Messiah, and have turned back to God, have been ostracized by not just friends but by our family, as well.
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I have two children, from a previous life which I may have mentioned this in the past, who were constantly exposed to my “ex” verbally battering me whenever I visited them. She even did that when I wasn’t there, and after many years of this, my children grew up to accept her version of who I am and had rejected reject me, totally.
Every day since then I have prayed that God would reconcile my children to me, and every year for over 10 years I wrote both my daughter and son on their birthday asking to reconcile. About a year and a half ago, when I wrote to my son on his birthday, he replied that he wanted to start over. I was elated and knew that this was an answer to my daily prayers. We had emailed each other a number of times and also we have had pleasant conversations using the video app on Instant Messenger. Everything seemed to be getting better.
This week I replied to a couple of his posts and those of his girlfriend and his replies were not just nasty, but degrading and insulting. I went back and asked why he is being so nasty, and that if he can’t disagree with me he doesn’t have to say anything at all. I sent him a personal message saying that I don’t deserve to be talked to that way and I am still his father, who deserves some respect. I said I wasn’t his punching bag.
His reply was that he has been thinking about it and he doesn’t respect me, which is why he was lashing out at me. He added he doesn’t want to respect me and that we should separate permanently. He also unfriended me and blocked me before I could even respond.
I am not sharing this to hear people say how sorry they are; the reason I am sharing is that this being a ministry, there is an important message here about answers to prayer, and raising the question if praying may sometimes be a waste of time.
As of this moment, because this is how they want it, both my son and daughter are dead to me. It isn’t my choice, it is theirs, and as sad and painful as it is, I will respect their wishes. And to tell you the truth, it is somewhat of a relief because they have insulted and berated me constantly for over 20 years. I spent most of my time turning the other cheek, realizing that this was their mother’s hatred which she infused into their innocent minds as they were growing up, but at 33 and 28 years of age, they are more than old enough now to make up their own minds.
I prayed to God for many years to be reconciled with them, and with their mother, as well, and after my son said he wanted to reconcile, I thanked God every day for that answer to prayer. I continued to pray for my daughter to turn back to me, as well. But now that my son has, completely out of the blue, rejected me again, how can I trust God to answer prayer?
The answer is that God DID answer my prayers, but he won’t force people to change who they are. Somehow, someway, God influenced my son to turn back to me, and despite my efforts to tip-toe around him for the past year and a half, he returned to the disrespectful, hateful, and angry person that his mother is, inside of him.
In looking back, I really can’t see how I did anything to anger him- even Donna, my wife, said my responses were not at all written in any way to be construed as nasty or insulting, but he just did a complete “180” and now things are back to where they used to be.
Except for one thing- I am not praying for them anymore.
Now, some of you may be thinking I should pray even harder, and I can understand the reasoning behind that; after all, Yeshua told us to pray for our enemies. He also said that we shouldn’t throw pearls before swine. Most people interpret that as not wasting time preaching to those who won’t listen, and that is the correct interpretation, but I am adding my own twist to it. I believe that there are some people for whom intercessory prayer is inappropriate. You can pray and pray, but since God will not change who a person is unless they ask him to, it might just be a waste of time.
I believe that prayer for people who are not just godless, but God-hating is a waste of time. For our own emotional protection, we have to learn to allow people to make their own decisions even when we know where that decision will take them. As painful as it is, sometimes we have to cut our losses and move on, and the only consolation I can find from this is that what I am doing is also what God does.
Today’s lesson is that my experience with my children is similar to what happens to God, every day when people reject him. God wants everyone to turn from their sin and live (Ezekiel 18:23), but when they reject him he will allow them to live their lives on their own. Even though he knows the pain and eternal suffering they will have to endure because of their choice.
So taking God’s example, I am removing my children from my life, as they have requested, and I won’t pray for them, but I won’t reject them if they turn back to me. The ball is now entirely in their court.
God will turn his face from those who ignore and hate him, but he will never give up on them and is always happily willing to take them back the moment they do teshuvah. And that is the hope we can have for those whom we love and care for but who reject us.
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Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!
ADDENDUM: It is now three days later, and I am adding this because as I prayed this morning before I even knew it I was praying for my children. I realized that when I wrote the above message, I neglected one factor: when we pray, and we are praying genuinely from the heart, the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) will help lead us in the prayer. And what I learned is that it is always right to pray for someone, even when you are pretty sure that they will never change.
So I learned this morning and wanted to add to this message, that when you ask yourself “Should I pray for this so-and-so?”, my answer is something my people always say: “Vat could it hoit?“