Author: Steven R. Bruck
Should We Forgive Abusers?
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As I have often said, I read Dear Abby every day because it provides great fodder for spiritual understanding and teaching.
Recently someone wrote to her who had been abused as a child by her family, and now as an adult and parent is asking how she should react to those who constantly tell her that she should try to reconcile with her family. Abby answered that when one has been abused they do “NOT” have to forgive the abusers.
Those who are God-fearing should know better than to follow that advice. True, it is hard to forgive someone who has damaged you, whether it be physically and/or emotionally. The pain and anger, unresolved anger, is very hard to live with and even more difficult to get over. In truth, I don’t think we ever really get “over” it, we just learn to get past it.
Yet God tells us that forgiveness is what we must do. We are told to be holy as God is holy, and part of what God does is forgive. He forgives because he is a compassionate and loving God, yet if we do not ask for forgiveness, it will not be given automatically. The reason for that is simple: if we do not ask to be forgiven, that means we aren’t repentant for the sin we committed, and God will not forgive an unrepentant sinner.
Here’s is the thing about forgiveness that (I believe) many people do not understand: forgiving someone else for a sin they committed against you does not make them right with God but it does make you right with God. Each and every one of us must ask God to forgive us for the sin(s) we commit. I can ask God to forgive others, but if they are unrepentant it doesn’t seem likely that God will forgive them. We can ask him to be merciful, but God will judge fairly and mercifully, anyway, whether or not we ask him to do so. What is good about us asking God to forgive or be merciful is that we can show God we are forgiving of others.
Yeshua tells us in Matthew 6:14 that if we do not forgive others, we will not be forgiven. OUCH!! That means that we must forgive if we are to maintain our salvation.
That’s right- it sounds bad and is a hard word to hear, but it’s right there in the Bible. If we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. We are also told that the rod we use to measure out others will be used to measure us (Matthew 7:2), which is another way of saying the same thing. If we judge others unfairly and refuse to forgive them, that is how we will be judged and how we will receive forgiveness (or not.)
There is another aspect of forgiveness that (I believe) many people do not know: the only way to make the pain go away is to forgive! Without forgiveness, the pain will never go away. Even when you do forgive, it will take time. I try to remember that I need to pray for those that have sinned against me (per Yeshua’s command in Matthew 5:44), and when I pray for them I find that it is easier to forgive them.
The old adage, “To err is human; to forgive, divine” is absolutely correct, and totally biblical.
Usually, Dear Abby’s advice is on the mark, and I understand that her column is not a religious one, but it sure would be nice if she was less PC and more GC (God Correct) for then her advice would be truly good advice.
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Reporting That I Have Nothing to Report
Sometimes you just don’t have anything to say. That is a rarity in my case, but still and all I haven’t had any real inspiration for today’s message.
Maybe that is a message in itself- when you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Often we have to comfort those in pain and don’t really know what to say, so to break that uncomfortable silence we say something. And how many times have you done that and wished you could take back whatever it was you said, the moment the words came out of your mouth? I know that has happened to me.
I once joked around with one of my sister-in-law’s and she was upset with the joking around. I apologized but she was too angry to even care- that was about 6 years ago and she is still angry and won’t talk to me. Not only that, but her sister (my wife, Donna) once slapped her arm forgetting that it had just been operated on. It wasn’t a hard slap, but S-I-L took it as an attack and still isn’t really talking to her- and it’s been nearly 10 years now! It is so sad that some people are just so unforgiving that they destroy the relationships in their life. She may be mad at us and it does hurt, but not because of what she is doing to us as much as what she is doing to herself. Donna and I feel, unfortunately, that we aren’t missing anything if that’s the way she wants to be. The only one my S-I-L really hurts by being so hateful and unforgiving is herself.
You can’t fence someone out without fencing yourself in at the same time.
So, nu? Just now I found a message for us all: Be forgiving and work on strengthening relationships instead of destroying them. Most importantly, remember that God tells us the measuring stick we use on others is the one he will use on us (Matthew 7:2: “ For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”)
That passage should scare the heck out of anyone who believes in God.
Parashot Mattot / Massai 2018 (Tribes / Stages) Numbers 30:2 – 36
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These parashot (the Hebrew plural for parashah) cover a number of different issues. We start with the making of vows by women, and how those vows are either allowed to stand or are nullified by the dominant male in the family, be that the father of a single woman or girl living under his roof or a husband.
Moshe is commanded to have Israel attack Midian before he dies, and 12,000 Israelites attack and kill thousands upon thousands of Midianite men, the 5 kings, and Balaam. Afterward, it is found that not one Israelite died in the battle from which hundreds of thousands of animals and people were captured. The booty was then shared among all the people, with a tithing made to the Levites and to God.
The tribes of Reuben, Gad, and half of the tribe of Manasseh ask Moses if they can remain on the east side of the Jordan River because the land is perfect for cattle, and they are cattlemen. Moses is at first upset that they refuse to enter the land, but after they agree to help the other tribes settle the land before they settle down on the east side, Moses acquiesces and allows them to stay in that land.
The second parashah contains God’s commands for the distribution of the land among the 12 tribes. The leaders of each tribe, the boundaries for each tribe, the commandment to give land to the Levites and the rules regarding the Cities of Refuge are specified here.
Finally, the daughters of Zelophehad are brought before Moses with the concern that if they marry outside their tribe the tribal property they inherit will be forfeited. It is commanded that they marry inside their tribe and that no tribe should marry outside so that the lands inherited by a tribe remain always with that tribe.
As I was reading through these Torah portions one word kept coming to mind: accountability.
The father and the husband are responsible to either let the woman’s vow stand or be nullified. Their responsibility is not without accountability: if they do not nullify the vow the moment they hear it, but decide later to nullify it, then the sin of breaking a vow is on their head, not the one who made it. They are responsible to allow or deny the vow, and with that responsibility comes accountability for failing to act correctly.
When the Israelites returned from the war against Midian, they had captured women that were not virgins. Moses was very upset that these women who led the people into sin at Pe’or were not killed. But he was upset with the leaders, the captains of hundreds and thousands, and not with the soldiers. It was the leadership which was held accountable for the actions of those whom they were responsible for.
When Gad, Reuben and the half tribe of Manasseh asked to stay on the east side of the Jordan River, Moses held them accountable to ensure that the other tribes received their inheritance first.
Finally, when the land was divided among the 12 Tribes, each tribe was accountable to provide a portion of their land to the Levites, some of which would be assigned as a City of Refuge.
We are given many wonderful things by God: physically, financially and (most important) spiritually. And for all that we receive, we are also held accountable to use it properly and in accordance with God’s commandments. Too many churches have preached a “Once Saved, Always Saved” program of salvation, which creates a lack of accountability. If I can ask forgiveness one time, then never have to ask forgiveness again because once I am saved I will automatically be saved, then how can I feel accountable for the sins I commit later? And if I don’t have accountability, then how can I feel repentance? What I am saying is this: if I am automatically forgiven for any sin I commit for the rest of my life, then I stop asking for forgiveness. That leads to my not feeling concerned or upset when I sin, and that has to prevent me from feeling repentance in my heart. Does anyone who is reading this really believe that an unrepentant sinner will be allowed into God’s presence?
Of course not! We are saved when we ask for forgiveness in Yeshua’s name, but we are not automatically forgiven every sin we commit from that point on. When we are forgiven our sins (which are the ones we have collected to that point), they are what is “nailed to the Cross” that Shaul refers to in Colossians 2:13-14:
When you were dead in your trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Messiah. He forgave us all our trespasses, having canceled the debt ascribed to us in the decrees that stood against us. He took it away, nailing it to the execution stake!
This passage is very often misunderstood to mean that the requirement to obey Torah was done away with when Yeshua was crucified. That is a lie from the very pit of Sheol. God wants us to act in a godly way- how many times throughout the Tanakh does God tell us that we should “Be thou holy as I am holy?” If we do not act in a holy way, how can we be holy? And if we do not have rules, ordinances, and mitzvot (laws) to follow, then how can we know what is holy and what is not? That is why Shaul tells us (in Romans, Chapter 7) that the Torah created sin: the Torah tells us what is right and what is wrong.
Salvation is the gift of God which we can now only receive through the sacrificial death of Yeshua the Messiah. When the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, because the Torah commanded the sin sacrifice must be done at that temple, we had no path to salvation. Yeshua replaced the step in the sacrificial system that required bringing a sacrifice to the Temple, and that is why through him we can receive forgiveness.
BUT– that doesn’t mean we aren’t still held accountable for what we say and do every day for the rest of our life. We must still be holy as God is holy, and the only way to do that is to obey the Torah. God gave the Torah to the Jews to bring to the world because it is the ultimate User Manual for attaining holiness.
As you life your life, remember that we are always held accountable: our bosses hold us accountable to produce our work as they want it to be done; our spouses hold us accountable to our vows to love, cherish, honor and remain loyal to each other; and God holds us accountable to obey his commandments and repent of our sins every single time we sin. Salvation saves us from the eternal consequences of our sins, but it doesn’t relieve us of accountability for what we do and say.
With these last two parashot we come to the end of the Book of Numbers, and at the end of each book of the Torah tradition says we repeat the following:
Hazak! Hazak! v’nit’chazek!
(Be strong! Be strong! And let us be strengthened!)
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Be Careful What You Ask For
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I love golf. I have been playing since I was a teenager. For about 30 years I didn’t swing a club and now that I am retired, I am able to get back into the game.
My game hasn’t been as good as it was: no surprise there. However, I should be capable of playing what we call “Bogie Golf” and I am getting closer to that goal.
What’s this got to do with anything? I’m getting to that.
When I pray, I constantly ask God for better self-control so that I can pray as David prayed: May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to Thee, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer” “(Psalm 19:14.) I have often written how God always answers prayer, and sometimes (in my life) he has told me that when I ask him to change me that he will, but I have to work at it, too. I have to learn to call on his Ruach haKodesh (Holy Spirit) to help me achieve that change. This is what happened to me earlier this week while playing a round of golf- God answered my prayer by giving me the opportunity to practice self-control. Here’s what happened…
I was playing a pretty good game for our 9-hole round (league play) but starting at the 6th hole I screwed up a number of shots and ended up with a really bad score for that hole. I got a little teed-off at myself, and from that point on the game went downhill at an alarming speed until I ended up with a score that was nearly 10 strokes higher than I usually get. For 9 holes, no less!
I was angry, using language I shouldn’t, and smacking my club into the ground (at least I wasn’t throwing it like I did when I was a teenager.) I was also embarrassed because later, after cooling down a bit, I realized that I failed to do what God had been giving me a chance to do- be acceptable before him, and also honor him by acting in a way that others would see my self-control, which is one of the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23.)
Needless to say, I apologized to my golf partner for my actions next time we got together, which was two days later to play on a different course.
I am patient with others when I teach but I confess I have little patience with myself, never accepting less than what I think I should be able to do. So, on my way to this next game, I was praying and asking forgiveness for my lack of self-control. I also asked God to continue to help me, and that’s when I knew, yes I just knew, that I was going to have another bad game. Not that I wanted another bad game but I knew that even though he is God of all the universe, he would give me another chance to show that I could pass the test. Which meant that, no matter how hard I tried, I was going to hit into the water, duff shots that I shouldn’t duff, find nearly every sand trap on the course and probably end up with another really lousy score.
But this time I was ready for it!
(I did have a lousy score, again, but not as bad as the other day and this time I maintained my self-control throughout it all.)
This story is the reason today’s message is about being careful what you ask for. God always answers prayer: sometimes it is “OK”; sometimes it is “OK, but not now”; and other times it is just plain “NO!” The tricky part is that when God is willing to answer our prayers, his answer isn’t always what we expect or when we expect it, but it is always just what we need, just when we need it. God answered my prayer to have better self-control by giving me the opportunity to work on it through my golf game. At first, I didn’t realize this, and that is why I failed so miserably at it. Through more prayer and the leading of the Ruach, I was able to discern what really happened that day I did so poorly: God was answering my prayer. I asked, he answered and I messed it all up. I wanted God to just intervene, to just re-wire my brain-housing group so that I would automatically have better self-control so I could be more like he wants me to be.
I forgot how a long time ago when I asked God to change the way I think about something, he gave me this answer: “It doesn’t work that way.” He gave me the insight to see that the way it’s done is we each have to work at those things we ask God to change in ourselves. It is up to us to work with God to make that change happen. And God will provide the opportunity, which is why we need to remember that through the experience of having tsouris in our life, even something as insignificant as a golf game, we can learn how to channel his Spirit to overcome our troubles.
I am somewhat proud to say that I was able to figure this one out fairly quickly and hope that going forward I will remember when I ask God for something to remain always on the alert for his answer.
I recommend that you do the same.
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Yeshua Confirms Lack of Torah Signals the End
No video today.
Usually, when someone takes a single line or passage from the Bible and uses it to make a point, I become a little leery because that generally indicates something else is missing. I am going to do that very thing today, and hope to still be able to validate what I say.
The line I am talking about is Matthew 24:12, which says (Complete Jewish Bible) :
…and many people’s love will grow cold because of increased distance from Torah.
This is taken out of the paragraph in which Yeshua is telling his Talmudim (Disciples) about the End of Days. I believe that most of you reading this are familiar with what was said about wars and rumors of wars, famine, earthquakes, etc., and as hard as I could I did not see this specific statement about “distance from Torah” in either of the other Gospels.
The KJV says, “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.”; the NKJV says, “And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”; and (lastly) the NIV says, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold…“.
All of these versions indicate an increase of lawlessness and iniquity, which is, by definition, distancing oneself from Torah, is it not? So Yeshua, by telling us that in the end times there will be more and more people rejecting the Torah, is identifying what Christianity is doing, and has been for centuries. Since even before the end of the First Century, the Gentile “Church” fathers have been working to separate themselves from Judaism, which is the very root of the tree they have been grafted onto. I ask you- if a branch separates itself from the root, how can it be nourished? How can it hope to survive?
When I would teach Messianic Judaism to new Believers I used this example: Remeber the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Elmer Fudd chased Bugs into a tree? Bugs would be out at the end of a branch, and Elmer would be sitting on the branch attached to the bole of the tree, sawing away at the part Bugs was on. Laughing, Elmer would say, “I’ve got you now, you silly wabbit!” and as soon as he sawed through the branch, the tree fell down with him it in, and Bugs remained suspended in the air.” After we all had a chuckle, I would tell them that this is what Christianity thinks is possible- to separate themselves from the tree they are connected to and yet still remain “saved” from destruction.
Yeshua is telling his Talmudim that as more and more people reject the Torah, which leads to lawlessness and iniquity running wild, the End of Days (in the Hebrew it is called the Acharit haYamim) will be getting closer. And the rest of the passage states that those who hold out to the end will be delivered. That means, obviously, obedience to Torah will not gain our salvation, but it will secure it.
We are saved through faith, but faith demands obedience to Torah and Yeshua is saying here that those who remain obedient will be among the saved. Like it or not, God’s commandments are valid throughout time, until the new earth and new Jerusalem come from heaven. And even after that, Torah will still be valid, only under the New Covenant, it won’t need to be written on a scroll because, as Jeremiah tells us, it will be written on our hearts.
If you have been told that the Torah was “nailed to the cross with Jesus”, or any other such teachings, anything to indicate that Torah is for Jews but Christians have the Blood of Christ, well…that’s not according to Jesus. Messiah told us all that distance from the Torah will result in loss of salvation, and since John says the Word (Torah at that time) became flesh, obviously referring to Yeshua, that means that those who reject Torah also reject Yeshua.
How many of you think that rejecting Yeshua will result in your salvation?
Parashah Pinchas 2018 (Pinchas) Numbers 25:10 – 30:1
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We left the last parashah with Phinehas (Pinchas) killing the Israelite man and Midianite woman to stop the plague. Now God makes a covenant that the lineage of Pinchas will be the High priests forever because of his jealousy for God. God commands Moses to go to war with Midian but first, a new census is taken because the prior generation has died in the desert. No further mention of the war is given at this point but we return to it in Chapter 31.
The daughters of the Zelophead (who had no sons) request an inheritance and God makes a new statute which identifies the Order of Inheritance regarding family inheritance of land in Israel.
God tells Moses his time has come so Moses asks God to place someone in charge of the people, and God chooses Joshua.
This parashah ends with God having Moses remind the people of the requirements for the offerings that were to be made daily, as well as the festivals that he first told us to honor in Leviticus.
Moses is told he is going to die and his first thought is of the people he has led for the past 40 years. He isn’t concerned about how will he die, will it hurt, will he be taken up into God’s bosom- no thoughts for himself and total concern for those that he will leave behind. This action on Moses’ part shows us the type of person he was: thoughtful, concerned for others, humble even unto death (sound familiar?) and obedient.
Today what I would like to talk about is why God is having Moses repeat the offering instructions to the people before he dies. When I read this I had to ask myself, “Why? Why is God having Moses remind the people about something that they already have been told and have written down for them?” The answer seems to be because God knew that these offerings were a central part of the daily life of the Children of Israel and, as such, must be followed. They are so important they bear repeating.
Again, why? Because without those daily activities of worship and annual celebrations of the Lord the people would easily fall into corruption. And we see that happening throughout the remainder of the Tanakh: when the leadership fails to enforce the daily offerings and festivals, the people fall into sin and worship the gods of their neighbors.
It is like the old adage: good habits are hard to develop and easy to lose, whereas bad habits are easy to develop and hard to lose.
We need to remember to pray daily, to worship the festivals God gave and when we celebrate holidays (not to be confused with Holy Days: the former are man-made and the latter are God commanded) we should celebrate only those that still honor God and do not replace the festivals he gave us in Leviticus, which are repeated here in this parashah. Only by repetitive worship can we maintain our faith and the strength of that faith, especially in light of our leader’s sinfulness and distracting activities.
When I say “repetitive” I do not mean to repeat prayers and perform actions robotically: what I mean is that we need to develop a regular prayer life and to remember the festivals God told us to celebrate. The ones he reminds us of in this parashah are the daily offerings, Shabbat and new moon, New Year, Day of Atonement and the pilgrimage festivals. Daily, monthly and annually we perform these rites and celebrate these festivals so that worship becomes a regular part of our lives. Every time throughout history that this cycle of worship was broken, the people fell into corruption.
What is your personal worship cycle? Do you pray every day? Do you honor the Lord by celebrating his festivals as he said you should? Too many people (both Christians and Jews) do not honor the Lord by celebrating the festivals as instructed. God isn’t very pleased with a half-way attitude when it comes to our worship of him. Another thing I have noticed: when you pray, who are you praying to? Is it to God or is it to Jesus? Jesus isn’t the answerer of our prayers- he is the intercessor. There is a big difference between intercession of prayer and interception of prayer.
The take-away for today is that we all need to develop a regular cycle of worship: daily and continual prayer, festival celebration as God said to (excepting for the sacrifices, of course) and constant reading of the Bible to remind us of who we are worshiping. Look at your life with spiritual eyes and see all that God has done, and is doing for you, and above all be appreciative for whatever you have. It may be great or it may be small, but if you have anything then thank God for it. He will hear and, knowing what you need, provide what is best for you.
Sometimes it is very hard for us to believe God is working for good in our lives, and that is what faith is all about- steadfastly believing God loves you and wants only the best for you when your life at that moment makes it impossible to believe. These are the times when the cycle of worship we have been talking about today helps us maintain our faith.