Why Me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Why me?

When something bad happens to us, don’t we ask, “Why me?”  And, if something bad happens to someone else, we might ask ourselves, “Why them?” Like in war, when a buddy is killed by a random bullet right next to you and you have to ask yourself, “Why him? Why did I survive?”

Or maybe when something really good happens to us, we wonder if someone “up there” likes us and ask, “Why me? What did I do that was so wonderful I got this?”

Or the selfish side of that, when something wonderful happens to someone else and you ask,”Why them? Why not me?”

I think the answer, and probably the answer that is best most of the time, is simply, “Because.” Because you were where you were, because you weren’t where that other person was, because you did something nice, because you did something not so nice, because it just happened that way.

Faith is the way we explain the unexplainable. Shaul said that faith is believing in things unseen and unproven, although there is plenty of proof that God exists and is working in the lives of people. All people, not just Believers. Now that my eyes are open, I can see God’s hand and help in many, many areas of my life long before I knew Him as I do now.

In fact, even when I was rejecting Him, He was not rejecting me.

This is a simple Drash, an easy to grasp but hard to live by idealism- don’t think about why. Just keep going. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy.

Ask Kohelet, the writer of the book by the same name. Or maybe you know it as Ecclesiastes. The reason he is so upset and fed up with everything (as he says, it is all just “chasing the wind” and useless) is because he was trying to understand life from God’s perspective. He was trying to know why, he wanted to understand the “Why me?” from God’s level of understanding, which is (of course) impossible for any human to achieve. So, what was he left with? Not knowing the “why me”, and only seeing that everything done under the sun was useless because money you save gets spent by others when you die, the things you build when you are alive don’t last, the work you do and leave behind gets changed by those who are now doing it. Nothing stays the same, nothing is dependable, nothing lasts…nothing except God. God is the only thing that doesn’t change, and He provides for us. He gives us the fruits of our labor, so we should just enjoy them. He provides for us, so we should just accept what He gives and enjoy it. He is all that matters, and fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That’s the conclusion of the book, and that is what most people find to be “the” lesson. I disagree; I think the real lesson from Kohelet is that we need to stop asking “why” and just accept that God is in charge. We can’t understand, and the truth is, we don’t have the need to know. It’s not our place to question God, although He is big enough to handle it, and loving enough to let us, now and then. He may even answer you, if it is something He feels like doing.

Stop asking, “Why me?” Oh, yes…and stop asking, “Why not me?” , too. That’s right- you can’t ask, “Why them”, either. Just stop asking “why”, altogether.  Do what God put you here to do, which is to worship Him, use the gifts He has given you to bring glory to His name: make Disciples, teach, intercede, pastor, whatever talents and gifts He has given you with which you can proclaim His goodness, love, mercy and glory, use them. When things happen in your life, don’t start whining that God is punishing you, or feel guilty that you are so blessed while others aren’t (remember that Yeshua said you will always have the poor amongst you.) Just do what God says to do, and keep on doing it through all the good and all the bad times.

We live in a cursed world, and if you feel that you are really being attacked, don’t ask ,”Why me?” but ask if you have wandered away from God. God provides His kippur, His covering (blessings, if you will) to protect us from the cursed world we live in. He does this when we are walking alongside Him, when we are living in His will. God has His path to walk, and when we wander off He will not wander off with us, so we find ourselves outside the kippur of His goodness and mercy. That’s when we should be asking ourselves something, but not, “Why me?” We need to ask, “Where did I get off track?” And, “How do I get back on track?” Those are the questions we need to constantly ask; we need to always question our motives, our desires, our actions, and understand that God is always there, He is always the same, and when things happen that we feel are not what we expected, it isn’t about God changing- it’s about us changing.

Starting today, ask “What am I doing?” instead of “Why me?” If things go wrong, ask ,”What did I do that may have caused this?”  If things are going great, ask yourself, “What am I doing that must be good in God’s eyes?”

God is in charge, but we have the freedom to do what we please. That often means we will go in the wrong direction, or we will actually do something really worthy of blessing. I like to say when I have done something really well, it is God doing it through me and He deserves the glory. When I screw-up royally, then I can take full credit. But I don’t ask, “Why me?”

Frankly, I don’t care why me or why not me, or why them…I only care about staying in God’s will and doing what pleases Him. I don’t ask “why”, I ask “what”, as in,”What did I do to get off track?” and then”What must I do to get back on track?” Sometimes I can ask the best question of all, “What am I doing that is so wonderful in God’s eyes, and how do I keep on doing it?”

“What” is the question that helps; “Why me?” is self-defeating and leads to inaction, guilt, and sadness whereas”What should I do?” encourages us to take action, improve and work towards demonstrating God’s glory.

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