Are You Giving Up Now So You Feel Better Later?

Are you wondering what the title means? Are you asking yourself, “How can I feel better about something that I give up on? Giving up is failing, it is quitting, so how can anyone feel better about doing that?”

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Well, giving up could be okay to do if we were talking about a sport or a very challenging class at school. In my case, I often think of giving up golf, but then I get a par and think, “That wasn’t so hard…I bet I can do that more often.”  Foolish me.

But no, I am not talking about something as menial as a sport or a class, I am talking about life. And this is not about giving up on life, itself- we are not discussing suicide; this is about giving up on relationships in your life.

How many people do you know who are afraid to get close to someone because they have lost loved ones and feel that if they don’t get really close to someone, then when that person dies they won’t feel such a tremendous loss? They rationalize their fear of loss, which turns into a fear of intimacy by telling themselves that this way they won’t have to suffer as they did before when their parent or sibling, friend, or pet died.

They give up intimacy now so that they won’t have to feel bad later.

What they are really doing is ignoring the fact that they are going to feel bad, anyway. They think giving up on closeness now will make them feel better later. But they are wrong, and when they realize that because they stayed emotionally distant then, they don’t have the kind of beautiful memories they could have now, they feel even worse. And to throw salt on their wounds, they can never recover that lost opportunity.

The same thing happens when we don’t want to work on our relationship with God. We take God for granted. We go to services, we do what we think is okay, based on what our religious leaders tell us, and we send cards to friends and family for the holidays. But we never really try to get to know God on an intimate, personal level, which can only be done through reading the Bible. And when we don’t get close to God, we lose out on that wonderful, peaceful feeling he gives us through his Spirit. And we also lose out on the blessings he has for us, which we can only receive through following his instructions. Not what a Rabbi or Priest or Minister says, but what God says, and you know what God wants only when you have an intimate relationship with him.

So many of us think we have the time to get to things later but the truth is we never know when we will be facing God. And just like losing the chance to be close to people now who we are afraid of losing later, we lose all the blessings that God has for us right now when we put off strengthening our relationship with him.

I used to sell Revocable Living Trusts as part of someone’s estate plan, and when people told me that they liked the idea and would call me when they needed to set up their estate, I would reply with this:

“That’s smart. Why spend money for the Trust until you have to. It takes us about 6 weeks to get the Trust set up for you, so (taking out my calendar) let me know when you are going to die and I will set an appointment for us 6 weeks before then.”

That was a very powerful closing line, and I am sure you can see why.

If you have lost loved ones and decided that you will never get that close to anyone again so you will never have to feel that much pain, again, please reconsider. Especially when it comes to God, who (unfortunately) too many people blame for the pain they feel when they lose a loved one. Death is part of life, and we all have to deal with it. What matters is not what we lose when someone dies, but the quality of the time we had with them while they were still here.

You will always have to suffer the loss of a loved one, but what is worse than having someone taken from you is when you reject them while they are still here.

Thank you for being here; please subscribe and share these messages with others to help this ministry grow. I don’t ask for money and I will never tell people what they have to do or think, I only want to make sure that whatever decision they make about their relationship with God is based on what he says and not what some religion tells them.

Until next time, L’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!

 

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