I have often said that pride is the mother of all sins, and that still stands.

But pride often leads to pridefulness, and that leads to being disappointed when others don’t do what you think they should. And that is almost always the case.

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As I have said in the past, there is nothing wrong with being proud of something you have accomplished, so long as you always remember that whatever skill you used to accomplish that something, whatever it is, you did not create that skill- God gave it to you. So, be proud of how you used that skill, but remember to give credit to the one who really made it possible- the Lord, God.

One of my favorite expressions when I am congratulated on doing something well is this:

Whatever I do that is good, it is God working through me; when I totally screw something up, then I can take full credit.

The problem starts when we begin to think that because of our past accomplishments (or perceived accomplishments) we know better than someone else. This is a form of pridefulness, and the other side of that coin is judgementalism. Both are bad.

The reason we feel frustrated, leading (almost all the time) to anger is when someone doesn’t listen to us, i.e., they don’t do what we think they should do. That doesn’t mean they are wrong, because often we are wrong, but becoming frustrated or feeling insulted because someone doesn’t follow our suggestion is not going to accomplish anything other than arguing with each other.

When we find ourselves in an argument over how a task or policy is to be performed, I can almost guarantee that pridefulness is the root cause.

And when we are arguing or not getting our way, joy is destroyed. I mean, really? How often have you been happy when someone doesn’t do what you want them to do?

And today’s message is this simple: whether you are right, or wrong, if someone refuses to do what you suggest, leave it be.

Now, if you have administrative authority over a person (for example, you are their manager), and they refuse to do as you say, that is easy- you write the person up, then get someone else to do the job. No problem. And if they continue to refuse to do as you say, you fire them: no reason to get angry.

Allowing pridefulness to get in the way destroys any chance of joy. You can’t be happy when you are constantly feeling that people are ignoring you, and even if they are, so what? If what you suggest is good, and they don’t accept it, then the fault is on their head.

It’s like what the Bible says: In Ezekiel 3, God states that if the guard sounds a warning, and the people refuse to acknowledge it, then the guard is free of blame. But, if the guard fails to sound the warning, and the people are hurt, then their blood is on the head of the guard.

You can’t make people do what you want them to do- that is a hard word to hear, but it is true. You may provide the environment and means for them to do something, but as the old saying goes…you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

So, going forward, if you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry because someone isn’t doing what you suggest, take a deep breath, and remember that whether you are right or wrong, God gave everyone free will to determine their own future, and not you, and not I, and not anyone has the right to interfere with that God-given gift.

In other words, hand someone the rope and let them decide to either pull themself up, or hang themself; either way, don’t let it upset you and destroy your joy.

Thank you for being here and please remember to share these messages with everyone you know, even non-believers. Hey, after all, you never know how fertile the soil is until you plant a seed in it.

That’s it for today, so l’hitraot and Baruch HaShem!