Tag: relationship with God

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trusting Again

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Forgiveness has very little to do with the person you forgive, and everything to do about your relationship with God. Always remember that we are commanded to forgive (Mattitayu 6:14-15) and that forgiving someone demonstrates our love of God through our obedience.

Besides, forgiving is the only way to make the hurt stop.

No, really! If you know the pain of being sinned against, and feel the person that hurt you doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, then you have forgiveness all wrong. Someone hurt you once, but when you fail to forgive them you are just hurting yourself, over and over. Forgiving is how you stop the hurt, and (actually) has no effect at all on the person that hurt you. Most likely, that person doesn’t care if you forgive them or not.

Try to remind yourself that the other person, the one who hurt you, has to face God sooner or later, and nothing you do, including forgiving him or her, will change their relationship with God. The hurt they did to you was also a sin against God and they need to make that right with God; frankly, God doesn’t care if you forgive them or not, so far as their relationship with Him is concerned. He does care if you forgive them or not with regards to your relationship with God. So forgive, get past the pain and be more right with God. The blessing you receive for forgiving others is that the pain stops.

Now let’s cover another aspect of forgiveness: forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to trust them, or let them back in your life, or even deal with them, ever again. Forgiveness is what we do to improve our relationship with God. If someone has stolen from you, and you forgive them, it doesn’t mean you have to let them know the combination to your safe. That isn’t forgiveness, that’s stupidity. Shaul (Paul) says that we shouldn’t do anything to provide a stumbling block that might cause someone to stumble (into sin) so if you know someone who is hurtful, don’t give them a chance to hurt you (or themself, for that matter.) If you know someone who drinks too much, don’t offer them a second round. If you know someone who is a gossip, don’t listen to them or share a secret with them. If you know someone who is lazy, don’t give them an important job to do.

You should forgive them when their sin affects you, but that doesn’t mean you have to give them the opportunity to continue to sin against you to “prove” you have forgiven them. Your forgiveness of others is between you and God, and no one else, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

Consequently, when you sin against someone, you should ask them for their forgiveness. Before going to that person, confess your sin and ask God for forgiveness. After all, every sin we commit is, first and foremost, against God. David knew that and said so in Psalm 51, so ask forgiveness from God, then go to that person and ask forgiveness from him or her. And know that the rule works the same way: if they do not forgive you, it has nothing to do regarding your relationship with God. You sinned against someone and you asked for God’s forgiveness and for their forgiveness.Whether they forgive you or not is between them and God, and once you do what you know to be right (in God’s eyes) you should also forgive yourself and move on.

The saying, “To err is human; to forgive, divine” is more than just an old saw- it is an accurate definition of both terms. God says many times that we are to be holy because He is holy, and one way we can do that is to be forgiving. You don’t need to allow that person back in your life or to deal with them ever again, but you do need to forgive them. It doesn’t even matter if they know that you have forgiven them.

Just so long as God knows.

Parashah Pesach (Exodus 12:21 – 12:51)

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Weren’t we in the book of Leviticus last week? How’d we get back to Exodus?

Today, actually tonight, begins Passover (‘Pesach’, in Hebrew.) As such, this being one of the most important and happiest of all the Holy Days God gave us, we read this portion of the Torah and then get back to Vayikra next week.

Passover is a Holy Day that is somewhat misunderstood, by both Jews and Christians. If you ask most any Jewish person how long Passover lasts, I’ll bet the answer you get is “7 days”, but that’s wrong. “Passover” only lasts from evening until midnight, when the angel of death passed over Egypt. The 7 days that we fast (no leavened products, i.e.. nothing with yeast) is called Hag Ha Matzot. It is the Feast of Unleavened Bread that lasts 7 days. Another thing that is misunderstood is that Passover is when God said we should celebrate the new year; God never said that Rosh HaShannah is the Jewish new year. In Exodus God tells Moshe that this day (the day the Jews left Egypt) is to be the first day of your year. Rosh HaShannah, the Jewish New Year, is a Rabbinical holiday and not a God ordered Holy Day. The day that it is celebrated on is a God-ordered Holy Day, but that day is called (by God) Yom Teruah, or Day of Trumpets. It is a memorial day.

From the Christian viewpoint, because of the undeniable association of the sacrificial death of Yeshua (Jesus) on the day after Passover, leading to His resurrection on the third day (Sunday, the beginning of the Jewish week, as we are told in the Bible) the sacrifice of the Passover lamb is considered to be what Yeshua underwent, which was a sacrifice to absolve us of our sin. Especially since He is often referred to as the Lamb of God. Even the Jewish people, for the most part, believe that the Pesach lamb was a sin sacrifice.

Oh, oh…not so, oh no. The Passover lamb was sacrificed, yes, but it was a thanksgiving sacrifice, a peace offering, not a sin or guilt offering.

Go back and read the first chapters of Leviticus we just went through- it describes how the different sacrifices are to be administered by the Kohen. There is only one type where the person offering the sacrifice also partakes in the eating of the sacrifice, and that is the peace offering. God demands that the Passover lamb be roasted and eaten by those offering it, so that makes the Passover sacrifice a peace offering, not a sin offering.

But didn’t Yeshua offer Himself as a sacrifice for sin? Yes, He did. Well, when do the Jewish people offer their sin sacrifice? That’s on Yom Kippur.

You see, Yeshua is both sides of the coin, so to speak: His sacrifice to overcome our sin was on Passover, and the Passover sacrifice is a peace offering to God. When we think about it, isn’t the Messiah supposed to bring us all back into relationship with God?  So when He sacrificed Himself as a sin offering, didn’t that also allow us to come into relationship with God? Wasn’t the curtain torn from the top down? From God to us? When Yeshua died on that execution tree, His sacrifice was both the sin sacrifice that comes at Yom Kippur (the final one that will be at the End of Days) and the peace offering that brings us back into relationship with God. His sacrifice counted then as two- the sin sacrifice to cleanse us before God and the peace offering that will bring us into relationship with God. They may be a little backwards to us, since our time is linear, but God’s time is different. What Yeshua did back then was for then, and for now, and for the rest of time; one sacrifice to accomplish two things, from then until forever.

Isn’t God just amazing?!? It gives you goose-bumps. Now do you see the real association between Passover and Yom Kippur? We usually associate Passover with freedom from physical slavery and follow it up with Shavuot, the giving of the Law on Sinai as a “one-two punch” against sin. For those that accept Yeshua’s Messianic calling as true, these two Holy Days also represent the freedom from spiritual slavery and the giving of the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit, which only because of Yeshua’s sacrifice can now indwell forever. Prior to Yeshua the Ruach fell on the person, but was lifted up later. Only because of Yeshua can that Ruach now indwell and remain.

And there’s another misunderstanding- as nicely as this all fits, Passover is not really associated with Shavuot, but with Yom Kippur. Passover and Yom Kippur are the two sides of the same coin, sacrifice for sin to cleanse us and peace offering to bring us back into relationship with God. Again I ask, isn’t that what the Messiah is supposed to do?

I also do two things at once to my Christian friends at this time of the year: I teach them by kidding with them and rebuking them at the same time. I ask them if they ever considered that as they are celebrating and honoring the resurrection of Yeshua, they are eating something that He would find to be an abomination and an insult on His table?

Think about it before you buy that Easter ham. Also think about it when you have bread and cake all next week. Yeshua told his Talmudim (Disciples) to beware the Hametz (yeast) of the Pharisees;  Yeshua and all His followers fasted from yeast during the celebration of Hag ha Matzot. Do you want to do as Yeshua did? Do you really want to please God?

If you do not normally fast during the 7 days after passover, try it. I am sure there are many who fast from something for a day or a week to get closer to God. Don’t you think that fasting as God says you should would bring you that much closer to pleasing Him? To being in communion with Him?

Forget the ham- do a turkey or a chicken. No lamb- that is not allowed because the lamb is the demanded sacrifice and it must be done at the Temple, but the Temple doesn’t exist anymore so we don’t do lamb on Passover. Chicken, turkey, maybe a nice brisket, no bread- only matzah for the next week. No cakes, no nothing with any yeast in it at all.

Try it. Do what God says and He promises to bless you (read Deuteronomy 28.) Don’t get all caught up in that drek about obeying Torah means you aren’t under the blood- that’s nothing but a bunch of fertilizer taught by those who don’t understand and don’t want to obey God to those who don’t want to make their own decision about how to worship God.

Here are my two most favorite ways to eat matzah: spread butter lightly over it with salt (warm the butter a bit first or it will crack the matzah)- YUM!!! And for breakfast eat Matzah Brei: soak matzah in warm water, when it’s soft wring out the water (carefully) and then drench the matzah is an egg wash with a little milk (and cinnamon), then fry in a frying pan greased with butter. Serve hot with syrup or sugar. It’s sort of a Jewish french toast, and I cannot believe you won’t LOVE it!

Chag  Sameach!!

Why We Don’t Know How to Love

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“Huh?  Why do you say we don’t know how to love, Steve? I love my spouse, I love my kids (most of the time), and I love and have loved many other people in my life. And, of course, I love the Lord!”

Good for you. But look at all the other people in the world that don’t know how to love. The terrorists can’t possibly love with all that hatred in their hearts. Oh, they may like, they may lust, they may even really adore, but I don’t believe they can possibly love, not like we learn from God, when they do such horrible things.

Read the Dear Abby, the Ask Amy, or whomever is the advice columnist in your local paper. I can’t count how many times I have read something along these lines:

I have been with this person for x years and s/he is hateful and cruel. I am yelled at for not doing anything, then yelled at for doing something wrong, even when it is exactly as they told me. I am scared of being hurt, he has had three affairs and drinks too much. She spends our money and I have seen her name on multiple dating sites. There are emails with co-workers that are sexually explicit. But they’re really a wonderful person and I love him/her. What do I do?

You are with someone who cheats, is brutish, scares you, is having affairs, keeps secrets, wastes your money and drinks too much, but you think they’re wonderful, love them and just don’t know what to do? OY!!

Look- love does not conquer all. To be in any relationship where you are considered second class and mistreated is not only a sin the other person commits against you, but is also a sin you commit against yourself! I am not saying to ditch your main squeeze at the first sign of trouble, and we are married for better or worse, but that doesn’t include debasement, infidelity, and abusiveness. These things need to be handled. Even Yeshua, who stood up for the sanctity and holiness of marriage, said that infidelity is a reason for divorce. And Shaul told us that if we are in a relationship that is unevenly yoked the Believer is allowed to leave, but only if the non-Believer wants that. He goes on further to say that they should stay together because the one may be saved by the other, but not if your safety is threatened.

This confusion about relationships, which is so prevalent it sends the love columnist’s kids through college, is rampant because reading the Bible is a rarity. God tells us how to treat each other, and through the writings of the Prophets and some of the Epistles of Shaul, we can see clearly how God loves us and how we should, thereby, love each other.

God’s love is unconditional, but not enabling. He will punish us when we are wrong and He will allow us to choose our own fate. He will protect and nourish us when we are faithful, and when we reject Him He will allow us to be on our own. But He still loves us and is always willing, and hopeful, that we will repent of our sins and turn back to Him.

The Torah shows us how God’s love is unconditional, but His blessings and presence are. We must obey and remain obedient in order to have His constant protection and blessing. Reading the book of Judges, as well as the writings of the Prophets, Kings and Chronicles shows us how God has constantly shown His love, yet allowed us to wander, to prostitute ourselves with other gods (have an affair), mistreat and berate Him (by rejecting His laws) and be abusive (taking His name in vain, choosing to work on His holy days, even watching football religiously but never attending services or reading His word.)

God loves us and wants to be with us, always. He wants us to bask in His glory and be joyful. He also provides everything we need for this to happen. Then He has to watch us throw it all in the garbage, curse Him, ignore Him, reject and even forget about Him, totally. There are many who don’t even believe He exists. Yet, He still loves us.

However, He isn’t writing to Dear Abby saying, “I have created them, I gave them the Earth and everything in it, which I created for them, and I have nurtured, protected and kept them alive for millennia, yet they don’t care a whit about me! All they want to do is what they want to do- I tell them how to be happy and they choose not to; I tell them how to treat others and they spit in my face; I tell them to keep away from the Enemy because he will lead them to ruin and they laugh at me and follow him gladly. I love them and show them my love, yet they have affairs with other gods, like money, professional sports, career activities, and they prostitute themselves with gluttony and avarice and fornication. I just don’t know what to do, Abby.”

What do you think she would say? I’ll bet that getting professional help will be in there, somewhere.

Here’s what I’d like to see them say: “READ THE BIBLE, YOU DUMMY!! Get to know what love is and what love is supposed to be, and then go find it. You can’t be loved until you learn how to love, so read about God and learn how to love so you won’t be saddled with some schmo like the one you have.”

We need to do everything we can to save our marriage, to work with our steady love interest, and to make the relationships in our life worthy of God’s blessing. But it takes two to tango, and if you are the one doing all the work, and the other side is just not caring at all about you, your feelings or you needs, you are not in a healthy, Godly relationship. If the other side is not willing to change or even try, you need to realize that, just as God allowed His loved people to wander off and nearly destroy themselves in order to come to their senses, you need to allow your other half to do the same. You need to talk, offer compromise, go to counseling, and try hard. If this is something the other side says he or she is willing to do, then be patient, show the truest form of loving in that you will abide by that person and help them, even if they are being somewhat cruel to you, and forgive them as long as they really want to change and ask for it.

If none of that is happening, though; if the other person is unwilling to try, unwilling to listen or care about you, and unwilling to love you as you should be loved, then let them do what they want to do, but let them do it on their own. The books I mention above show that God, despite His love for us, despite His unbelievable level of compassion and forgiveness, and despite His willingness to overlook our past and our many sins against Him, still underwent a series of “trial separations” from His people. He left His bride alone, naked and wallowing in her own vomit, exposed and ravaged by her enemies until she realized her wrongdoings and asked for forgiveness, promising to do as she should.

Then He gladly and joyfully accepted her back. Now that’s what love is.

In our relationship with God, we must be faithfully obedient, and in our relationship with each other, we must be loving, compassionate, forgiving and treat each other as we would want to be treated.

If you aren’t getting that in your relationship today, forget Dear Abby or Ask Amy and go to the Bible. See what God says, and bring that book to your other half. Follow what God does, what Shaul tells us love should be, and stand up for yourself.

I am not saying to call a divorce lawyer. I am saying we should all know what love is, as God tells us and not what people say. People are stupid, self-centered and sinful. People are obstinate, stiff-necked and selfish. People are always trying to get something for themselves, people are…well, they’re people!

As someone once told me: Humanity is a wonderful thing- it’s the people that ruin it.

Learn about how to love from the one who created it, who set the standards, and who is a constant source of renewal and strength: Adonai.

If you are looking for love and not finding it in your life or your relationship, stop looking around and start looking up. God is always there to show you how He loves you, and to give you the love you want. Once you have that, then you can go find it in the world because you will know what to look for.

Seek and Ye Shall Find

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To those of you who have decided to follow along, and for those of you who look now and then, my great appreciation goes out to you. I pray this ministry is acceptable and useful to you in maturing your relationship with God.

Today I would like to explain why you will rarely see me give chapter and verse. It’s not because I am lazy, and it’s not because I don’t know them (although I don’t always remember each one).

It’s because people are lazy. We are all sheep, easily led astray (OK, I will tell you that one is in Elijah) and that is why so many people are blind followers being led by blind leaders who just repeat what they have been told, over and over. No one goes to the Manual to see for themselves. People leave synagogue or church and say,”What a great message!” but they don’t go home and verify what they heard in the Bible. I will not foster or enable spiritual laziness.

This is a hard word, but I challenge anyone out there to tell me I am wrong. To tell me that they don’t know people who profess to love the Lord, and even do good things in His name, but only read what they are told to read and follow where they are told to go. Yeshua said when the blind lead the blind, they both fall into a pit.

I don’t think I am blind, but if I am to look for the log in my own eye, I start with a handicap, don’t I? I mean…I have a log in my eye! Geeze- how can I see straight if I have this log in my eye?

That’s why I read the Manual (with my good eye, of course) and try to always let the Ruach lead me. I listen, with attentiveness and respect, to the teachings I receive from those I trust, and from some extra-biblical books. There is always something more I can learn. What I want to get from my studies, more than anything, is what God has for me. And what He has, He has in the Bible. That is His word, His personality, His spiritual truth. It’s all there. And if I want to know it, I need to read it, to research it, to absorb it. I need to try as best I can to allow God to do what He said He will do for me- write His Torah on my heart (you should find that one yourself. I’ll give you a hint: the New Covenant is not in the New Covenant.)

No one else, and I mean no one, can tell me what God has for me. Only the Holy One of Israel, the Lord God, can tell me what He has for me, and He does that through His word and through His Ruach.

That’s why I won’t tell you where these lessons are, and I challenge you to take the time to find them. They are there, but I can only tell you what God tells me it means.

If you want to know what God is saying to you, go to His word and find out.What’s so wonderful….scratch that, start over…One of the many things that is so wonderful about the Bible is that it never says anything just once. Every lesson, every truth, everything that is important is repeated, over and over, in the different stories, the historical events, and the words of the Prophets throughout the book. Old or new, there is no difference- it is all the word of God, and the lessons are there, over and over. You need to look for them, because where I find one lesson is not necessarily where you will find it. And where you find it may be the best place for you to receive what God wants YOU to know.

I can find many places where we are told to love the Lord, and many places where we are told to love each other, and many places where we see the attributes of God (the best known place is in Exodus- see if you can find it) and it is important that you know where they are, too. But don’t find them because I tell you where to look: find them for yourself through the leading of the Ruach HaKodesh. .

Shaul told one of the Kehillot (the Christian version of this word is “church”) that they should be ready for meat, but they are still only able to drink milk. You, my friends, my brothers and sisters, need to have meat. If you are new to Yeshua, new to salvation, then milk is right for you, and that is why I do give hints about where to look, but good habits should be developed early on.  So, if you are new to salvation, please learn now to seek and find the Lord’s meanings and truths the way you need to- on your own. If you are given a lesson or teaching and told where it is, seek it out and make sure that what God told the person teaching is the lesson He has for you from that message. I can give a great lesson, but you may get a greater understanding when you look for it yourself in His word and let the Ruach tell you what it means for you.

I can only plant the seed; you need to water it with the Living Water of Life, Yeshua ha Mashiach. Let God talk to you, let Him confirm to you, personally, what I may be saying to you through this ministry. Let your Rabbi be the Lord of Hosts, Himself. He wants to tell you something, and you can’t really hear it that well if I am talking, also. So, listen to what I say, if you want, if it empowers you, if it sounds to you like I am saying things that are right in God’s eyes . Lord knows, I pray He approves of what I do in His Name every day.

Then, go ask the Lord what He says about it. Get a second opinion from the One who has the only opinion that really matters.