Tag: peacefulness

What to Say When You Have Nothing to Say

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Obviously… you say nothing.

You provide a presence that is caring, compassionate, and silent. Think of when you are in God’s presence- do you hear a lot of noise? Maybe there is worship music in the background, maybe there is someone singing, or maybe (as I find it most effective) you are under your Tallit, wrapped around your head as if in a cocoon of worship, and all the background noise is just a whisper to you as you feel God’s warmth, His love, His overwhelming joy being absorbed into your very soul.

There is no way any of us can give that wonderful, totally peaceful experience, but we can take a hint from the Lord and be that quiet presence that soothes and helps. When someone is in pain, either physically or emotionally, people think they should say something. We watch too much TV and too many movies, where someone says something that is a vitally pointed remark, one that empowers and helps the poor wretch to come back to reality, or see the truth; commercial break , and then back to the show where now everyone is happy.

That’s all make-believe! There are many people reviewing the words used, creating the emotional situation, as well as the circumstances- it is all staged, all planned, all fake! TV and movies are not real life.

In real life we have to deal with the idiots who hurt others and don’t care- no amount of talking will make them see the light, and on TV after the commercial it is years later while in real life it is just the very next second- nothing has changed, and we have to continue to suffer with these dolts and bullies just as before we said anything. And the people who we try to help still hurt. Sometimes they never get over it, sometimes they never want to get over it, and more often than not nothing we do will make a difference.

And you can’t change the channel, either!

So what do you do? You stay silent. Yeshua tells us not to throw pearls before swine and not to continue to kick against the goads. I think we owe it to people to try to help with our experience and understanding, but not to nag and not to feel upset or chided when they refuse to listen. Everyone has free will, and if God can teach us anything about treating others, it is to allow them to make their own choices and respect their right to do so enough where we aren’t pridefully insulted if they don’t do what we think is best.

I write email responses that I usually delete because I have learned (and believe me- it took a long time and a lot of chewing out’s before I finally got the message) that when I am not sure what to say, I should say nothing.  And also that when I know exactly what I want to say, it is usually best if I still say nothing.

The most powerful feeling and experience I have ever had is when I am quietly in the presence of God. I cannot give that feeling to anyone because, well, I’m not God. Duh!! But I can “be there” for someone, I can gently hold their hand, put my arm around them, or just sit, quietly, next to them without saying or doing anything other than being there. They will feel my presence, and they will be able to find some small comfort in that.

That’s the best we can do, and more often than not, I think it’s all we should do.

Nothing else to say.

Take 2 Prayers, and Call Me in the Morning

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Oy! What a mishigas!! Work was rough, I got yelled at by the boss, my spouse is in a bad mood and wants to tell me about it. I want to listen but have been hearing complaints all day long from customers and my compassion gauge is at FULL. Just, everyone….leave me alone!!!

Ever feel that way?  Really? That often? Welcome to the Club, Brothers and Sisters.

In today’s fast..faster..fastest world I think we all get too caught up in a whirlwind of events that just keep coming at us. We feel like we are in an emotional spiral, either revving up to an explosion or falling into oblivion. It’s just too much too much, and too often.

Sometimes I wish I lived in simpler times. I am a Baby Boomer at the end of the cycle, born in the mid-50’s. I remember the innocence of the times and miss that slower, more congenial way of life. Yeah, we were more than innocent- we were naive. We were lied to and all the social tribulations, domestic abuse, pornography and underhanded activities in government that we expose so much today were happening then, too.

But the “feel” of life was nicer. Maybe it’s just Escapism- that desire to go back to a time we recall (truthfully or not) as happier.

The sad truth is, as Thomas Wolfe said, you can’t go home again.

There is a way to feel calmer, to get to a more relaxed state of mind, and to overcome the stress of today’s problems and exhaustive schedule. No, it’s not TM or Tai Chi or Yoga (although there’s nothing wrong with those). What I am talking about is prayer. And not the kind of prayer where you ask God to give you something, but the kind of prayer where you just thank God for all He has given you.

Huh? What’s that? I need help, I need to relax, I’ve got all this stress and all these problems and I need them to go away. And you want me to thank God? You crazy, or what?

No, I’m not crazy (there could be arguments made against that statement, though): I’m right. I know I’m right because it works for me, it works for my wife, and it will work for you, too.

The problem with problems is that they blind us to our blessings. They are like the glare from the sun on your car windshield, which makes it impossible to see what is directly ahead of you. When you focus on your blessings, it’s like putting on polarized sunglasses; once you have them on, you can see everything clearly. It’s that simple.

Prayer, especially thankful prayer, is the way to get passed the world and see the spiritual. It is balm for the soul. When you feel overwhelmed by the world, your life and your problems, you are blinded to the wonderful things that God has provided. It’s normal to feel that way; that’s why God has given us the ability to come into His throneroom through prayer. By the atonement we receive from Yeshua’s sacrifice, we can come boldly before the Lord. In fact, even if you are not “saved”, God will hear your prayer when you come before Him humbly and with a contrite spirit. That’s the way He rolls.

When I was still searching for God, I started to pray. Not because I was a firm believer in God, but because I thought it would help me. I remembered hearing somewhere that if you felt unhappy, smile. If you smile, even if you are unhappy, eventually by smiling you will become happier. I thought, “Why not do the same with prayer? Maybe if I pray like I believe in God, I will start believing more?” Funny thing is, it worked. And I felt better, too. Emotionally, even before I was blessed with the indwelling of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), I felt better. I was relaxed, as if a weight had been lifted. It doesn’t last forever, the weight comes back. Living in the world is like working at the fish market. By the time you come home, you stink of fish. You may wash and wash, eventually getting the smell off of you, but by midday tomorrow you will stink, again.

Prayer is the spiritual soap that cleanses us of the stench from the cursed world we live in.

And, as your Mother always told you, you should wash every day. So, with that thought in mind, start to wash yourself with prayer every day. Start the day clean, and go to bed cleansed from the world. Just say, “Thank you, Father, for all that You do for me. For my salvation, for my health (if you are alive you are healthier than a dead person), for my situation (it can always be worse), for everything You have done, for what You are doing right now, and for everything that You have planned for me.”

As the old saying goes, just count your blessings. In thankful prayer you will find peace, so long as you honestly thank God for whatever He has done for you. In the midst of the worst trials and tribulations, God is there. Remember that poem, “Footprints in the Sand?” When there was only one set of footprints, the writer asks where God was when he was walking all alone through his problems. God’s answer was that the footprints weren’t those of the man, but they were God’s footprints; there was only one set because God was carrying the man through those troubled times.

God carries us through our problems, and there is a reason that Yeshua called the Ruach the “Comforter”. It’s because that’s what it does; it comforts us, it relaxes us, it takes away the worries and the strife. Maybe only temporarily, but that’s another thing to be thankful for- the Spirit, like God, is always there for you. When those feelings of complete and utter despair come back, the Ruach is ready for it.

Feeling out of it? Ready to call it a day and you just woke up? Wanna go to Petsmart after work, pick up something small and defenseless, take it home and KILL IT!!!  Please don’t. Just find a quiet corner somewhere, and thank God for all you have. It may take some effort, I know (believe me…I know!), but it is worth the effort. Let the Comforter comfort, ease into an emotional hot tub, put on your spiritual sunglasses and see through the haze of the world all the wonderful things God has done, and is doing, for you right now.

When you offer up to the Lord thankful prayer, He will give you peace of spirit. Unlike the hard truth that you can’t “go back home again”, thankful prayer is something that will never be gone and will always make you feel better. It is constantly here, easily within reach, and  it works. Try it right now- why wait? Nu? What could it hoit?